Bullet Points: Vietnam, Texas

A priest walks into a bar… oh, you have heard that one before. Stop me if you have heard the one about a priest who had a child with a Vietnamese woman during the Vietnam War and then fights against the racial injustices of the Vietnamese in Houston, TX? Ok, so that one isn’t a joke but actually a Robert Ginty (star/director/producer) action movie from 1990. Vietnam, Texas isn’t as ubiquitous as the priest jokes, but it should be and I happen to have some Bullet Points for a movie that features a priest punching instead of punch lines.

• Acts 2:17 – Vietnam, Texas opens with Robert Ginty having nightmares about his time as a soldier in Vietnam. We quickly learn Robert Ginty is playing Catholic priest Fr. Thomas McCain and he is known for his outstanding work with inner city children and his prowess in the boxing ring. We learn all that exposition in a quite a funny scene with a bunch of priests in a meeting that makes you wonder if that is how priests talk when they are together. Shout out to personal favorite Richard Masur telling a whopper of a joke. McCain’s nightmares are starting to cause him trouble and work in church and with the children and he realizes he needs to find out if he had a child with a woman he loved when he was a soldier and before he became a priest.

• Deuteronomy 23:2 – McCain travels to Houston to find his former lover and child only to find organized crime being a major problem in Little Saigon. McCain also finds Max (Tim Thomerson, Spitfire) , a former friend from his Vietnam days who plays the classic rough around the edges and down on his luck bar owner that only Tim Thomerson can play. The audience is introduced to Max as he is “entertaining” a female companion in his bed while some repo men are trying to get his restaurant supplies. We learn that Mallan (Kieu Chinh) is the woman McCain loved and Max actually married her to get her into the country but it didn’t last and she is now married to Wong (Haing S. Ngor, Vanishing Son) the head of the Vietnamese mafia. Lan (Tamlyn Tomita, The Karate Kid Part II) is the daughter that McCain has never met and she believes her father is dead. Mallan did not tell Lan about her father because of the negative stigma of mixed race children in Vietnam.

• Ecclesiastes 8:11 – McCain agrees to help the local Vietnamese fisherman who are not only having trouble with Wong, but also the racist Houston fisherman. If you think that Wong is not going to be happy with McCain not only trying to meet up with Mallan but also messing with his business you would be correct. This is where the action really picks up in Vietnam, Texas. Even if Robert Ginty is only playing a priest, watching a priest in full get up beating up two Asain thugs in an alley with a garbage can lid will never get old. Also, the exploding fish stand is as fun as it sounds, and luckily we don’t have to smell it. You just know that there is going to be a final stand-off between McCain and Wong and it is very tense and does not disappoint.

Vietnam, Texas is a unique action movie because our hero is a priest. Not that there is anything unique about being a priest saving the day outside of the spiritual variety, I’m looking at you Father Dowling, but Father McCain is not afraid to get physical. Not only is McCain ready to mix it up when he has to, but he is trying to find his daughter he has never met. Sometimes being unique doesn’t work, but Robert Ginty manages to put it all together and any movie with Tim Thomerson as a sidekick is worth watching. I will leave you with something unique, some Vietnam, Texas Bonus Bullet Points.

• Familiar Vanishing Son Faces – Several actors starred in the Vanishing Son franchise besides Haing S. Ngor, with the most notable being Chi Muoi Lo plays Sammy, the wanna be comedic sidekick of Max and surprising heart in Vietnam, Texas and Tamlyn Tomita was in some of the sequels.
• More Familiar Faces – Stephen Vincent Leigh from To Be the Best fame shows up as Asian tough Andy. Chris the Brain’s favorite character was local Houston racist T.C. played by Don Dowe from Blood Games. CTB likes T.C. not because of his bigotry, but because he wears a 1980s era World Wrestling Federation hat, WWF for those in the know.
• If You Ever… – Wanted to see Robert Ginty perform the sacraments of communion and reconciliation than Vietnam, Texas is for you.
• Best Quote – “Having a father for a father.”
• Worst Insult to Someone Wearing Sunglasses – “What are you a Foster Grant commercial?”
• Worst Response to the Question “Do You Like Children” – “Not to eat.”
• Free Advice – If you are going to set your movie in Houston but film in Los Angeles, don’t drive by a Los Angeles jail with numerous LAPD vehicles visible.