Bullet Points: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre will be released globally on Netflix on Friday, February 18, 2022.
I am not sure if a franchise has ever been rebooted as many times as Texas Chainsaw Massacre. How many times can you retell / revision Leatherface and his trusty chainsaw? At least this version ties directly to the original. Think 2018’s Halloween as the movie you can compare this slasher to.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre stars Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Jacob Latimore, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouere as the original Final Girl, Sally and Mark Burnham as Leatherface. David Blue Garcia is the director, and Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues are among the co-writers.
- Leatherface 1 – Progressives 0: I can only imagine the Discord conversation in the Horror community after the masses start watching. Even though I’m a critic, I’m never quite sure what others will think. The only time I thought something was a sure thing with its target audience and it was almost impossible for me to be wrong was One Shot with Scott Adkins. I knew the action community would embrace One Shot 100%.
- Here is what to remember about this latest Leatherface movie: The people behind this production don’t give a flying ass fuck what you think about it or them. This is simply a movie. I think some people can’t get past some movies are just made to entertain, and without any hidden messages in them. I couldn’t stand most of the “progressive” characters. The core group of four are cringe level annoying. Hilariously, the most likable characters are Good Guy With Gun and Good Lady With Gun. I can bet you the farm those two ain’t voting for Beto. I can also promise you Leatherface doesn’t care who you voted for. He kills indiscriminately. This isn’t a Pro or Anti this or that political movement movie. It just happens to use a group of “woke” millennials from Austin, Texas as breakfast, lunch, and dinner for Leatherface…With the characters being so self-righteous to a level almost satire, you can’t help but not care what happens to them. I guess that makes you “cheer” for Leatherface?
- Will people lose their shit?: I have no clue, but damn is this movie gory and violent. I knew it would ooze buckets of blood with Fede and Rodo involved. The body count is as high as a kite. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is scary at times. The use of sound being a key ingredient to the creepiness. However, it has a lot of WTF humorous moments. One of my favorite humorous moments involves someone discussing why they never found Leatherface. They said they couldn’t find him because he wore a mask. It cracked me up. If you want to get away with crimes: Wear a literal face mask. If you think this one has a fairytale ending, then I have some ocean front property in South Dakota to sell you.
- The Strengths: Leatherface is supposed to look disgusting and vile. Bringing Leatherface to life is one of the film’s strengths… Another plus is the 74 minute runtime. This means we will probably see mostly slasher action. We don’t have a lot of time for talking when Leatherface needs to get his kill on. Once the first death happens, the killing doesn’t stop until the final moments of the movie. I want to know what kind of vitamins Leatherface takes to stay in great shape? This fella sure can move like the wind.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre shouldn’t work, but I couldn’t help but watch. It is a trainwreck. The amount of horror clichés used is laughable. I could almost correctly guess what would come next with each scene.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn’t try to reinvent the slasher wheel. It decides real quick to keep up the blood and gore, while not caring about the story. Will we get an actual sequel? Or is this another one and done?
- Grade: B
