Bullet Points: Panama (2022)

Panama is set to explode into Theaters, Digital, and On Demand March 18, 2022 from Saban Films.

• Number one reason to watch: Panama has a couple things going for it right from the beginning. Number 1: It stars Cole Houser, and you can make a very convincing case that Cole Hauser’s Rip Wheeler from Yellowstone is one of the most popular television characters in all demographics. Everyone loves Rip, so I do believe we will see more people checking out Panama for Cole. Is his character anything like Rip? Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind having either of them on my side in a bar fight. In Panama, Hauser plays Becker, a former marine who travels to Panama to supervise an arms deal. The film takes place in 1989, so there isn’t an iPhone in site.

• The second reason to watch: The other reason Action Fanatics will tune in is for Mel Gibson. Of course, Mel is in a supporting role. Of course, he does a lot of his scenes sitting down. But, at the same time, Mel is giving an effort worth watching. Mel plays the CIA “good guy” Stark, who helps Becker with his mission. He is also the voiceover narrator throughout the film, and he gets to call the Russians a bunch of commies. You know I was applauding that line.
• Another quick thought before we move on: Panama is directed by Mark Neveldine. You might know that name as one of the directors behind Crank, Crank: High Voltage, and Gamer. Panama has a different feel than any of those previous films I mentioned. There’s a bit more story in Panama. That could be a plus or a minus, depending on what you are looking for.
• Finally, we get some action in an action movie: Panama might not be as action packed as I thought it would be, but it makes up for it with the hot sex it shows on screen. My new favorite action nude scene in a movie for 2022 goes to Kiara Liz’s Camila. Hell yes! Camila and Becker get it on multiple times and without clothes. It is like Panama forget it is 2022. Not only do we have this nudity, but a few other nude scenes as well featuring the many fiancés of Mauricio Hénao’s Enrique Rodriguez. The Enrique character is the go-between person in the arms deal Becker is involved with. Also, if you like off-road motorcycle racing, Panama could be the movie for you. The testosterone is definitely flowing non-stop throughout the film.
• Using real life events to tell a fake story: Most of you reading this might not remember the USA’s involvement in removing General Manuel Noriega from office in Panama back in December of ‘89. The USA sent thousands of troops to capture Noriega’s ass. It was the largest conflict post-Vietnam for the United States military. All of this is before Iraq or Afghanistan, but you see where I am going. I’m surprised we haven’t had a Narcos: Panama or something like that. Just a tip for the readers: Study history, it pays to know what happened in the past, and you might also be more aware of films when you watch that have some elements of “facts” to them.

• Let me wrap this up: I am not sure of the budget for Panama, but I am guessing it is nowhere near big-budget. Panama is action entertainment with a great lead in Cole Hauser. Panama also is helped by Mel Gibson pretty much playing Mel Gibson. The bad guys are the weakness, but that’s okay. The story is also clichéd as a mofo, but that’s okay too. I ain’t gonna lie, the hot women helped me pay more attention to the screen. Panama has a chance to be the Redbox King of 2022.
• Grade: B
• Worth noting: IMDb at this time lists the runtime as 2 hours and 36 minutes. That’s a big typo. The actual runtime is around 96 minutes with credits. An hour off. Hell, I just moved my clocks an hour forward. I guess mistakes do happen.