Bullet Points: March or Die
The phrase ‘something’ or die has been around for a long time. “Live Free or Die” is the state motto of New Hampshire and dates back to the American Revolution and is based on the French Revolution saying Vivre Libre ou Mourir. To me there is not much of a choice, I will take the freedom over death. Skate or Die! might not be my favorite video game but presented with the choice I will gladly pick up my board. The 2004 US presidential election saw P. Diddy come out with the saying “Vote or Die!” While that might defeat the whole purpose of living free, sure, with the choice I will take a vote. What I didn’t know was that the French Foreign Legion had their own take with the saying “March or Die.” Again, I don’t see much of a debate for one of those options, but maybe the 1977 movie March or Die will help me decide.
- Vive La France – March or Die opens with the ending of World War I (or The Great War as they knew it because they didn’t know there would at least be one more) as French Foreign Legion legionnaires are returning to Paris. When the crowd starts singing “La Marseillaise” (the national anthem of France) it must make all French well up with pride. I wonder if they knew their beloved heroes were led by the American Major William Foster? I suppose they should because it is the French Foreign Legion. Foster (Gene Hackman, The French Connection) was kicked out of the American Army and joined the Legion and now faces the horrors of losing many good men in battle.
- Voleur de Bijoux – The French Foreign Legion is made up of all kinds of ne’er do wells, criminals and free spirits that they can get their hands on. That is where we get to meet some of the men in March or Die. Marco Segrain (Terence Hill) a famous jewel thief also known as the gypsy. As an aside, I miss the days of jewel thieves in movies. Why were there always so many jewel thieves? Who needed all those jewels. Jewels… that is a fun word to say. With all those jewel thieves there must have been someone out there that drools for jewels. Fools, I say. Joining Marco, is Russian giant Ivan (Jack O’Halloran, Superman II), French musician named for his choice of headwear Top Hat (André Penvern) and naive English aristocrat Fred Hastings (Paul Sherman). Methinks the carefree Marco will not be getting along with the stern Foster.
- Angel of the Desert – The Legion is ordered to Morocco to protect an archeological dig for the famed Angel of the Desert led by Francis Marneau (Max von Sydow, Flash Gordon) after an attack on some of the original archaeologists. The Arab tribes are none too happy with the French digging up their history and even though the tribes of Morocco have never really gotten along, this might be the impetus for that to change. El Krim is the leader of the tribes and he has a history with Foster which makes things interesting. Speaking of interesting, Ian Holm with a slight tan plays the Arab leader El Krim, and as good as Holm was, it is a casting that wouldn’t be made today.
- Mademoiselle Picard – Training in Morocco is tough and Foster might be tougher. This is where we learn the motto “March or Die” as the Legion prefers to just leave men that can’t hack their marches to just rot away out in the desert. Not everything is rotten in Morocco as the lovely Simone Picard (Catherine Deneuve) is there to try to meet up with her archaeologist father. She isn’t happy when she learns El Krim had his eyes and tongue cut out. Marco on the other hand is happy because Simone quickly becomes the apple of his eye. These war movies always manage to shoehorn in a love story.
- Message for Deserters – The most powerful speech in March or Die comes from Major Foster when he speaks to his men and the potential for deserting. “If the desert doesn’t get you, the Arabs will. If the Arabs don’t get you, the Legion will. If the Legion doesn’t get you, then I will.”
- French Foregin Legion and the Temple of Doom – When Marneau finally found the tomb with the Angel of Desert, two things crossed my mind. First this is not going to make El Krim happy and second when I saw Max von Sydow in that dig site I was praying he wasn’t coming back up with that Pazuzu artifact. I was right on both accounts as only the Angel was found and El Krim was able to use the finding to get all the Arab tribes to join forces. Dig site battle scene! The final battle makes up for any earlier lack of action as hundreds upon hundreds of deaths occur in a lengthy battle.
- Multiple Endings – March or Die has two different endings depending on if you see the theatrical version or the television version. Depending on if you find Foster or Marco as the hero may influence your preference. The theatrical version goes with Foster as the hero but shines a heroic light on Marco.
After enjoying March of Die my opinion has stayed the same, I would rather march. The movie does a good job of showing the troubles of war and fighting in general in foreign lands for people that see the loss of individual soldiers as a necessary cost. March or Die is mostly a serious film, but Terence Hill as Marco brings that touch of comedy that he would become so famous for and a perfect antithesis to the Legion brass led by the always game Gene Hackman. I once heard in a BPA meeting “Bonus Bullet Points or Die” and I think it might have been a joke but I don’t want to find out.
- Favorite Character – Foster’s right hand man Triand was my favorite character. Not because he was played by Rufus (one of the all time great stage names, I am looking at you boring Terence Hill) but because he was a badass and maybe only said 20 words the whole movie.
- Familiar Face – I love seeing Walter Gotell in any movie because he will always be General Gogol from the James Bond series to me.
- Saddest Scene – Being a serious movie, there are lots of sad scenes in March or Die, but the saddest is seeing Top Hat’s face after his eponymous headwear gets punched right through the top. I say that even knowing everything Top Hat endures in March or Die.
- Soundtrack – The use of “Plais d’armour” is both touching and perfectly used throughout March or Die.
