Bullet Points: Forest Warrior
Chuck Norris joined Captain Planet and The Planeteers, Steven Seagal and Bud & Doyle in the eco warrior ranks when he starred in 1996’s Forest Warrior…
- Legend Has It: The movie begins with a good old fashioned campfire story as Clovis Madison regales a group of youngsters with the legend of Jebediah McKenna. Clovis was played by Roscoe Lee Browne, who had a long career in front of the camera and as a voice actor, but I will always remember him as the guy who asked Fred Sanford if he sold Bric-à-brac. Anyway, the legend of Jebediah McKenna goes a little something like this… back in 1875, Jebediah McKenna and his wife were living a simple and peaceful life in Tanglewood forest, but one stormy night some guys came looking for McKenna… they wanted to cut down some of the trees on McKenna’s land to make railroad ties and McKenna told them to piss off. So now these bandits are looking to eliminate their McKenna problem. But McKenna was played by Chuck Norris, so eliminating him wasn’t going to be easy, even with a six on one numbers advantage. McKenna is taking out guys left and right, but when one of the bandits pulls a gun, it’s game over for McKenna… or is it? After being shot multiple times and falling into the cold river… McKenna washes up on the river bank and the “Forest Spirit” who had taken the form of a bear rescues McKenna and not only brings him back to life but bestows upon him shape shifting powers (and apparently immortality)… McKenna is the Forest Spirit now and can now transform into a bear, eagle or wolf as needed.
- Thorne in Their Side: The kids aren’t sure if what Mr. Madison told them is true, but it made for one helluva yarn. But the kids and their parents and the rest of the people who live in Tanglewood are about to face some harsh realities. One of their very own, Travis Thorne, wants the rights to start cutting down the trees in Tanglewood Forest for his logging company… and nobody knows it at the time, but Thorne doesn’t plan on waiting for city council approval. Thorne was played by Terry Kiser, the perfect choice to play a greedy slimeball if you ask me.
- The Great Outdoors: School’s out for summer and the kids of Tanglewood are about to embark on a tradition that has been going on for generations… once kids hit a certain age in Tanglewood they go out into the forest and enjoy the great outdoors in tree house style. The kids being in the forest is not something Travis Thorne accounted for. His men also weren’t prepared for Jebediah McKenna (yep, the legend was true). But instead of rethinking his plans, it is full steam ahead… he even orders his right hand man Williams to blow up the tree house! Fortunately for the one female member of the kids crew, Austene, McKenna was able to swoop in in time to save her, but not the tree house.
- This Means War: After the tree house incident, the people of Tanglewood know what Travis Thorne is up to, but while the adults try to go through proper channels to stop him, the kids decide they are going to protect the forest they set up booby traps and cut off Thorne’s communication with his loggers and the movie quickly turns into Home Alone in the forest. Things only get worse for Thorne and company when Sheriff Ramsey (Max Gail, Street Crimes) not only gets a court order to stop Thorne from cutting any trees down, but an arrest warrant too! And of course, Jebediah McKenna is not about to sit this battle out which means more Chuck Norris ass kickings!
Family friendly action movies with a message aren’t usually a go to for me, but you put Chuck Norris in just about anything and I feel obligated to watch. Forest Warrior felt like it could have been a Hallmark original and it also felt like a Chuck Norris movie I would never watch again, but I also don’t want to cut down any trees in the forest, so I guess the movie worked. If you are a parent who wants to introduce your kids to Chuck Norris and don’t think they are quite ready for Invasion U.S.A. then Forest Warrior is perfect.
Bonus Bullet Points are the perfect way to end this review…
- Familiar Faces: There are plenty of familiar faces in Forest Warrior… Michael Beck of Warriors fame plays Austene’s down on his luck, alcoholic father Arlen… Speaking of down on their luck alcoholics, George “Buck” Flower plays gas station attendant Barney. George “Buck” Flower has been in numerous movies that we’ve covered over the years including They Live and Blood Games… Last but not least were Travis Thorne’s two lawyers played by William Sanderson (Lone Wolf McQuade and Hologram Man) and Dennis Paladino, who will always be mobster Donnie “Dogs” DiBarto from Silk Stalkings to me.
- If You Ever: …wanted to see Chuck Norris stop a chainsaw with his bare hands, then Forest Warrior is the movie for you.
- The Power of Music: The kids utilize BuddaHeads’ “Rayleen” to discombobulate Thorne’s loggers when they transmit the through the loggers’ walkie talkies… the music absolutely owns their souls and they can’t control themselves, dancing around, playing air guitar with their chainsaws and singing along. Here is a link to the song, but be warned I can’t be held responsible for what may happen to you if you listen.
