Bullet Points: Don’t Breathe

I’m a big fan of Stephen Lang and have spent that past 30 years or so watching him kill it in movie after movie without really getting his due. Sure, he’s been in some really big flicks like Gettysburg, Avatar, and Tombstone, but it wasn’t until Don’t Breathe that I can remember him getting that shot at being the star. It also doesn’t hurt that I just watched him in VFW and that movie totally rocks!

Synopsis: Hoping to walk away with a massive fortune, a trio of thieves break into the house of a blind man who isn’t as helpless as he seems.

• Thieves: Breaking into rich folks homes to steal shit is like living the American Dream. At least that is what I thought when I was a teenage dirtbag in the 90’s. Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex (Dylan Minnette), and Money (Daniel Zovatto) are all young twenty-something peeps who apparently think the same as I did when I was young but they actually go for it and rob some places. Alex’s dad is a security dude somewhere and he’s able to swipe keys and other gadgets from him that make it possible for them to break in without alarms blaring. Like all criminals, they’re just looking for that one last big score so they can move out of Detroit and away from all this shittiness.
• Breaking in: Money gets a hot tip on a house with a blind guy in it and they’re off to the races with their plan. Nothing ever goes easy for them, though, as this isn’t a normal house with the usual locks and doggy door. This one has a cujo-like dog guarding it and window bars on almost every window. Watching the crew break in is a good scene as they’re able to work their way through the problems but their egos get the better of them once they’re in and they start making mistakes.

• Wake up time: The trio of thieves are actually doing pretty good until all hell breaks loose and the Blind inhabitant of the house wakes up and stands face to face with an armed Money. Being good at stealing has nothing to do with being good at killing, though, and Money proves my point better than I ever could. It’s safe to say that Alex is never all-in on the idea of robbing this place (stealing money brings higher prison sentences than items) and is even less enthusiastic once the shit hits the fan. The Blind Man ain’t no feeble dove, he’s a war vet who lost his sight in a grenade blast. He’s also a pissed off home owner who lost his daughter in recent years and doesn’t take kindly to someone stomping around in his home.
• Cat and Mouse: A good portion of the film is the chase between the Blind Man and the remaining thieves locked in his house. Stealing away into the basement to escape the ravenous dog seemed like a good idea at the time but it only leads to more craziness and less hope of any escape.

• Houseguest: No, I’m not talking about that Sinbad movie from the 90’s. This houseguest isn’t they kind to crash on your couch and drink all your beer. This is the type of houseguest who serves only one purpose.
• The Turkey Baster: How could I not talk about the turkey baster? It’s probably the one thing I’ll take away from this movie and remember for years to come. While these thieves are trying to escape from this house, there is one person who has been trapped her for a long time and has had to endure the baster on at least one occasion. The worst scene in the movie for me had to be when the tables were turned and Stephen Lang got a big taste of his own goo.

• Sneaky: The title of the film, of course, relates to the idea that the thieves are hiding around corners and doing their best not to make noise. The Blind Guy is a tough son of a bitch but he can’t see for shit and as long as they don’t step on him or bump into something noisy they are pretty safe. The wildcard in this is the crazy ass dog and we see several times when he uses that to his advantage.
• Leaving town: This was a surprise hit and made over $150 million on a budget of under $10 million. That’s pretty rare in this day and age and even more rare for a film that features a dude getting a mouthful of his own jizz. Even more surprising is the way that the film ends with very little in the way of finality. Maybe they knew they were onto something with the character and wanted to leave the door open for a sequel. Who knows?

The Verdict: Watching Don’t Breathe was very interesting, to say the least. There aren’t many good characters in this film and I would go so far as to say that every single character in the film is in that grey area. You have to believe that Stephen Lang’s Blind Man is the villain and he certainly does villainous things but you do feel a little bit sorry for the guy. I’m assuming that the film was trying to make me feel like this and it seems even more likely since the sequel is now out and they’ve made him out to be some sort of hero in it. In Don’t Breathe, however, he’s still out there doing pretty awful things to people and I have to question their ideas on making him the hero of the sequel. For now, I’ll say that Don’t Breathe was a unique film that I enjoyed, especially since I’m a big fan of Stephen Lang. Now I’ll have to watch the next one and try not to think about what he was doing with that turkey baster.