Bullet Points: Gymkata
It is almost hard to believe that nearly eight years into our run and 1985’s Gymkata has never been reviewed on the site… especially when you consider some of the movies that have been.
Gymkata came up recently in a conversation I was having and that planted the seed for a much needed rewatch. And since nobody has covered it previously I figured why not review it too…
- Speed Run: Nobody can accuse Gymkata of being a slow paced movie… in the opening moments we get to see the gymnastics ability of Jonathan Cabot (played by real life gold medal gymnast Kurt Thomas) and learn that Zamir (Richard Norton, Equalizer 2000) is a sadistic sonofabitch… After establishing two of the main characters in the movie we learn that Jonathan Cabot has been recruited to represent the United States and compete in something known as The Game in the small country of Parmistan. …by the 10 minute mark Cabot has met Princess Rubali (Tetchie Agbayani, Rage) and we get a training montage… by the 15 minute Jonathan and the Princess are hooking up… 20 minutes in Jonathan and Rubali have made their way to Karabal on the Caspian Sea, where they are attacked on the street and Rubali is kidnapped… but 5 minutes later Jonathan has rescued Rubali and then the two are betrayed by their Karabal contact.
- Mule Train: Karabal was only a stop off on the way to Parmistan and Jonathan and Princess Rubali begin making their way to the mountain country first by pack mule and then via some white water rafting… once they arrive the two are “greeted” by members of Zamir’s army before Jonathan meets Zamir himself the next morning. Zamir, trusted adviser of Parmistan’s leader (and Rubali’s father) The Kahn gives Jonathan a rundown of the itinerary which begins with a meeting with The Kahn to explain the rules of The Game…
- It’s All About The Game: Not only does The Kahn go over the rules, Jonathan also gets to meet some of his fellow competitors including Hao (Conan Lee, Ninja in the Dragon’s Den) and Gomez (John Barrett, To the Death)… All the competitors are invited to attend a banquet that evening and there another major player in The Game makes a grand entrance, Thorg (Bob Schott, Aftershock) and The Kahn drops a bombshell that after The Game tomorrow, there will be a royal wedding as his daughter Rubali will marry Zamir! This news doesn’t sit well with Jonathan and Zamir can’t help but notice, so he pulls out some sais and does a little demonstration to send Jonathan a not so subtle message that Rubali is his! Now Jonathan has a very personal reason to win The Game… I should mention that the reason the United States and other superpowers are so interested in The Game and Parmistan is because Parmistan has a satellite station that is in the perfect spot for the United States’ Strategic Defense Initiative. The winner of The Game, not only lives but gets to make one request (which in Jonathan’s case would be that the United States gets control of the satellite station).
- Game Time: The Game begins and it is clear that Zamir plans on doing whatever he can to make it impossible for Jonathan Cabot to win. But time and again Jonathan manages to survive Zamir’s attempts to derail him… the same can not be said for Hao, who unfortunately becomes to first major casualty thanks to a run in with Thorg… but while Zamir may have failed he is confident that Jonathan won’t survive the dangers of the next portion of The Game…
- Won’t You Take Me To Crazy Town: …and that’s because the next portion of The Game takes its competitors right through a town of mentally unstable individuals. How dangerous is it? Well, Jonathan finds Gomez there dead in what appeared to be very violent fashion. How crazy is it? The inhabitants are willing to cut off their own hands, wear robes with no backsides and craziest of them all, they have installed a pommel horse right in the middle of the town square… which is the last advantage you want to give a man with Jonathan Cabot’s skills and abilities… something the inhabitants find out the hard way… now all that is left is winning The Game and taking out Zamir, who at this point The Kahn has come to terms with the fact that Zamir was actively working against him and looking to oust him from power and sell the rights to the satellite station to the highest bidder.
I would rank Gymkata as a fictional fighting style behind Sinanju, but ahead of Ballistica. As a movie Gymkata is also middle of the pack for me, although there is no denying that it is a one of a kind movie, thanks in part to the fact that Kurt Thomas, who made for a unique action hero, didn’t do more in the realm of action entertainment following the release of Gymkata.
I’ve got more in the realm of Bonus Bullet Points…
- Familiar Faces: Kurt has two trainers to prepare him for The Game, a Western Trainer played by Sonny Barnes of Truck Turner and Force: Five fame and an Eastern Trainer played by none other than Tadashi Yamashita of American Ninja and Young Rebels fame.
- Out of Context Quote: “Put your hardware back in your pants.” – Jonathan Cabot
- I Wonder If The Book Is Better?: Gymkata is not exactly the type of movie I would have expected was based on a novel, but that was the case… Gymkata was based on Dan Tyler Moore’s “The Terrible Game”
