Bullet Points: The Final Alliance

David Hasselhoff is primarily known for his work on television thanks to the success of both Knight Rider and Baywatch over the course of his career. Those shows were so successful during their initial run and beyond that it is easy to overlook some of the movies that The Hoff starred in like 1990’s The Final Alliance…

• Puma Man: Will Colton (David Hasselhoff, Bail Out) rolls into Goldcrest, Texas with his pet puma Felix and returns to his childhood home only to find it trashed and covered in graffiti. Colton has not been in Goldcrest since he was a young boy after his parents and older sister were violently murdered. As Colton is going down memory lane looking around the old place the “new owner” of the house returns home… he is a member of the motorcycle gang known as The Vipers (the same gang that killed his family decades earlier) and he quickly pulls a switchblade on Colton… which was not the smartest move as he quickly learns Will Colton can more than handle himself in a fight.

• The Boy is Back in Town: Colton’s next stop is to see a man about a horse, then he goes into town and stops at the grocery store where the store’s cashier is being harassed by two members of The Vipers… Colton steps in and that’s when Carrie, the owner of the store, makes an extreme entrance armed with a shotgun… Colton identifies himself as one of the good guys and the seeds are planted for a romantic relationship between the two. When word gets back to Ghost, the leader of The Vipers, that there’s a new guy in town causing trouble and living at the old Colton Ranch. Ghost was played by John Saxon of Enter the Dragon and Aftershock fame and it was a John Saxon like I have never seen before. The next day Carrie goes to pay Colton a visit, but she’s not the only one… Ghost and The Vipers show up in an attempt to intimidate Colton.

• Target on Her Back: If Carrie fraternizing with Colton wasn’t enough to have Ghost pissed with her, the fact that she has been attempting to organize a town meeting of Goldcrest citizens fed up with Ghost and The Vipers running roughshod over their town, thanks to the crooked Sheriff Whistler (Bo Hopkins, Nightmare at Noon) surely is. The reason Ghost is protected by Sheriff Whistler is because Ghost and Whistler are old Viper running buddies and now find themselves in the lucrative drug smuggling and gun running businesses. Up to this point, the town has been too scared to step up… but with Carrie’s persistence and the presence of Will Colton the tide is about to turn!

• Ghostbusters: With the battle lines drawn there is a lot of back and forth… Colton sets fire to The Vipers motorcycles, The Vipers set fire to The Colton Ranch after a big shootout… Colton crashes a Vipers coke party, The Vipers crash Carrie’s town meeting… When the townspeople show up in support of Carrie and Colton, Ghost kidnaps Carrie and plans on taking her with him when he and Whistler skip town after they complete a big money arms deal… and that’s the perfect time for Will Colton and the people of Goldcrest to rescue Carrie and shut Ghost and Whistler down once and for all!

My one minor complaint with The Final Alliance was the title The Final Alliance. It was a title that really doesn’t fit with the story and seems like something somebody pulled out of hat.

But I have no complaints when it comes to the action… and The Final Alliance is packed with action. And I have no complaints with the story or the execution there of. The Final Alliance used a healthy amount of the successful Walking Tall formula but incorporated some completely unique things too… like a hero with a pet puma! Also I don’t think I can ever unsee the creepy look that John Saxon had as Ghost.

Much like a ghost, not including Bonus Bullet Points would haunt me, so to prevent some sleepless nights here are some Bonus Bullet Points for your reading pleasure…

• If You Ever: …wanted to see David Hasselhoff shoot the chain on a pair of nunchaku, then The Final Alliance is the movie for you.
• Disturbing Quote #1: “I’m gonna make this sonofabitch drink puke cocktail”
• Familiar Faces: Frank Notaro plays the weaselly Ferret, a member of The Vipers. I recognized Notaro from Never Say Die and Lethal Ninja… Karl Johnson played Red, a former member of The Vipers who now operates the local bar known as The Red Rooster. I recognized Johnson as one of the members of the Pentangle in Avenging Force… Len Sparrowhawk plays Zeke the town preacher/drunk, who after a cowardly start redeems himself by the end of the movie and helps organize the crew that build an armored truck used to crash the gates of Ghost’s shipping company.
• Nice Poster: A Rambo III poster can be spotted in Carrie’s store.
• Bar Fight Rule: When Will Colton enters The Red Rooster he almost immediately recognizes Red as one of The Vipers who killed his family back in the day and this leads to a brief scuffle in the bar so the movie was in bar fight compliance. But the action spills outside where Red tries to run over Colton with his Mustang, but Colton fires back LITERALLY by shooting Red in the head, which caused Red to lose control of his car, the car flips then catches on fire. Red was dead.
• Disturbing Quote #2: “I’m gonna stick a roman candle up his butt.”