Bullet Points: Kung Fu Kids Break Away
One of my big regrets is that I have come way too late to the Kung Fu cinema game. For whatever reason I never really watched a lot of Kung Fu movies as a youngster. Scratch that, I know exactly why. It was the reruns of the David Carradine Kung Fu television series. I could never get into that show and it turned me off for anything related to Kung Fu. Luckily, today the copious Bullet Points on this very website and numerous streaming options have taken me down the Kung Fu path. One film that I enjoyed and happen to have some Bullet Points for is the 1981 action/comedy movie Kung Fu Kids Break Away…
- Flipping Awesome – Huang I-Lung stars as San Mao and he is flipping and bebopping all over the place right from the start and he doesn’t stop until the movie is over. It is not quite as flipping crazy as the opening to Sleeping Fist but the kid is talented. San Mao is an orphan looking for his mother. As an aside, I usually don’t like narration in movies but it comes in real handy in some Kung Fu movies to explain the plot. As an aside to the aside, that is the only narration in the version I saw so thanks for nothing.
- Blind Beggar Bar Fight – Next we meet Kou Pu-Li (Ou Ti) another orphan who is a real rapscallion. Kou Pu-Li tries to scam anyone out of anything. Like when we first meet him he pretends to be blind and goes with the old pantsing (or dacking for any Australians) a lady to get her to give him what he wants. Kou Pu-Li also tricks a girl out of an expensive doll, not for him but for our third orphan, Hsaio Cha Meng (Chang Hai-Fen). Hsaio Cha Meng is older and looks after Kou Pu-Li. San Mao first sees Kou Pu-Li after one of his blind begging scams goes south and we get a comically sped up chase/fight. Love it!
- Evening Dinner Show – San Mao does some good acrobatics in a restaurant to earn a little cash. You know how I know that it was good? There is a patron who says “That kid is good” or “No doubt about it, that kid is good” no less than six times during San Mao’s act. Even better is that the music is “The Hot Sand Mexican Band” by Henry Mancini. Fitting for an Asian restaurant, but not the last special music choice.
- Kung Fu Kids Team Up – Kou Pu-Li sees San Mao’s show and knows a talent when he sees one, a talent that he can profit from. San Mao has the talent and Kou Pu-Li has the street smarts. Of course, they are not fast friends due to Kou Pu-Li getting San Mao drunk and stealing his money. Did I mention they are kids? San Mao saves Kou Pu-Li and Hsai Cha Meng in a fight and we now have our Kung Fu Kids.
- Bad Guy? – There have been so many good fights and comedic elements that I haven’t mentioned the bad guy, but that is partly because I am not sure what he has done. Where did that narrator go? Mr. Chu (Eddy Ko) is the generic bad guy that runs the small town, but he does have a son that has the hots for Hsai Cha Meng and looks out for the kids. When the trio try to have a small circus showing off their talents, talents they practiced in a quality montage that sees Kou Pu-Li turned into a pretzel and he also pisses himself so there is that., Mr. Chu’s men try to get their cut. Oh, I am starting to see why he is bad.
- Levert – It is also about this time that we meet Eagle (Casanova Wong) but don’t ask me where he came from, all I can tell you is that he wants to stop Mr. Chu. Is there a more epic song to introduce us to a character than “Voyager” by the Alan Parsons Project? Maybe, Mr. Chu’s personal soundtrack that is “Flight into Space” by John Barry from Moonraker. Who thinks our Kung Fu kids are going to team up with Eagle?
Our three heroes do team up with Eagle in an attempt to stop Mr. Chu and his evil ways. Will they be successful, that is for you to find out but that filicide ending came as a surprise to me. The fights and especially the ability of Huang I-Lung is what makes Kung Fu Kids Break Away so much fun. I don’t know what it is about watching juveniles fight adults or each other that is entertaining but it is. I don’t know what makes Bonus Bullet Points ending the Kung Fu Kids Break Away Bullet Points so much fun but here they are.
- Barry, John Barry – I already mentioned the song from Moonraker, but I also heard “Scaramanga’s Fun House” from The Man with the Golden Gun also by John Barry.
- More Movie Music – One of my favorite songs from another movie was the “Theme from Enter the Dragon” by Lalo Schifrin… with the screams included!
- If You Ever…– Wanted to see a bare assed Huang I-Lung get spanked until his bottom is red than you might be on a registry someplace… and Kung Fu Kids Break Away is for you. You might see even more of Ou Ti, you sickos.
- Split Screen – Where did the split screen action shots with four different pictures on screen come from? Why wait until the last 15 minutes to unveil that trick editing? Wait, now there are six scenes on screen?
- CTB – Chris the Brain loves to hear “bastard” used in these movies so much that sometimes around the BPA offices he is known as “count the bastards”. I didn’t go as far as to keep a tally, but I also don’t think he would be disappointed.
