Bullet Points: American Ninja 5

The American Ninja series is an unforgettable series in the history of Cannon. Michael Dudikoff became a true action star thanks to Joe Armstrong in American Ninja and many think the second film improves on the original. David Bradley showing up as Sean Davidson sans Joe Armstrong in American Ninja 3 rubbed some people the wrong way but at least we still had Steve James as Curtis Jackson and then the team up with Joe in American Ninja 4. With such a successful franchise, why is American Ninja 5 looked down upon? Because it is only part of the American Ninja franchise in name only, with a unique story given the title to cash in on the American Ninja goodwill… classic Cannon. Is American Ninja 5 worth your time? Let’s find out.

• Sailing – David Bradley returns, except not as Sean Davidson but Joe Kastle (was it asking too much to name the character Sean Armstrong or Joe Davidson?), a martial arts instructor living the good life in Key West. Joe returns to his sailboat home to find a worker varnishing all the wood, except Joe wanted the brass polished because it was tarnished. The worker turns out to be Lisa (Ann Dupont) who we later find out has the hots for Sean. Has there ever been a better ploy to meet a crush then to purposely confuse the words varnish and tarnish? 
• Adventures in Babysitting – Joe is met one day at his gym by his old master Tetsu (Pat Morita). Tetsu is going on vacation and wants Sean to house sit which also includes watching Testu’s nephew Hiro (Lee Reyes). Hiro loves the Miami Dolphins and the Sega Game Gear and one of those will play a big part. I was disappointed that Hiro was playing G-LOC: Air Battle and not Streets of Rage. It is at this exact point of American Ninja 5 that you will either like it or hate it and it all rests on the shoulders of a 12 year old. If you want your American Ninja with a little more family friend vibe stick around otherwise be prepared to be annoyed.

• Perfection – Meanwhile, over in Venezuela, the Dr. Strobel (Aharon Ipale) is working on a very effective pesticide that little does he know his employer Glock (Clement von Franckenstein) wants to sell to a South American dictator. We know Glock is evil because he has his minion Flathead (Marc Fiorini) try to get Dr. Strobel to kill a puppy. Flathead is an awesome hired goon name but killing a puppy is down right despicable. Luckily for the pooch, Dr. Strobel refuses and Glock has Dr. Strobel’s daughter kidnapped as leverage. Did I mention that Lisa is Dr. Strobel’s daughter?
• Enter the Viper – The man sent to kidnap Lisa is the Viper (James Lew, 18 Fingers of Death!) and he is awesome. The Viper dresses in black and red and wears a cape and is pure evil, but not kill a puppy evil. Sean and Hiro end up following the Viper and Lisa to Venezuela. If you want to see David Bradley fight all different kids on ninjas, you are in luck. In fact the action really picks up with flaming arrows, flaming nunchucks and a great bike/car chase that ends up in a produce stand. Produce stand worker has to be one of the most dangerous professions in action movies right up there with oversized pane of glass carriers.

• Un Problema – One specific issue I had with American Ninja 5 is the runtime. It comes in over an hour and forty minutes which is not terribly long, there is a major slowdown in Venezuela. Did we need the fake out where Hiro thinks Joe is dead? Probably not, but did allow us to see a spirit ghost Tetsu, Hiro crying on the streets of Venezuela and Joe mystically shake off handcuffs. Ninja skills?
• Finale Finally – Any good action movie needs an action packed finale and American Ninja 5 has two. There is the daring rescue of Lisa (and the puppy gets saved!) at Glock’s base of operations which happens to be a hotel which I am sure was chosen for ease of filming and lets us see a hotel room service cart hallway fight. If that was on the menu I would order seconds. The last battle is the one we have been waiting for with the Viper and Joe and not only do we learn more history about Hiro and the Viper but the Game Gear playing comes back and I guess G-LOC was the better choice.

I can understand the dislike for American Ninja 5 because it is not an American Ninja movie and movies with kids can be very annoying. However, the interaction between Joe and Hiro were some of the best parts. David Bradley had tons of personality as Joe Kastle and dare I say charisma as the older brother type to Hiro. We all know that David Bradley can bring it in terms of martial arts, and Lee Reyes proves all of Ernie Reyes Sr.’s apples didn’t fall far from the tree. American Ninja 5 is too long and kids in action movies might not be your cup of tea but I enjoyed watching, just not one that I need to rewatch anytime soon like the others in the series. I do need some American Ninja 5 Bonus Bullet Points right now.

• Familiar Faces – Joe’s partner in his gym is Tadashi Yamashita (Young Rebels) billed as himself and has a small role but was more involved behind the scenes as the Martial Arts Coordinator. Norman Burton (Bloodsport) plays Ambassador Halden. American Ninja 5 would go with the corrupt government official trope, would they?
• If You Ever… – Wanted to see David Bradley and Tadashi Yamashita strike apples stuck on a blade then American Ninja 5 is for you.
• Meta Quote – “What do you mean an American ninja? It’s ridiculous.”
• Charismatic – Was David Bradley doing those accents on purpose? I loved them.
• Sexist Quote – “I thought only women dressed in red.”