Bullet Points: Private War
Private War is a 1988 action movie that keeps many of the characters’ motivations a secret… or private. I suppose that makes sense if there are characters struggling with internal demons (or dragons) but for the whole cast it makes it difficult to connect to the characters. However, when there are firefights and explosions does it really matter what a character is thinking? Let’s find out!
- P.O.W. the Escape – Private War opens with a flashback of some POWs escaping a prison camp in Vietnam and the film chooses to show a gruesome shot of a foot getting impaled on a stake without any warning. Consider yourself warned. We learn that the two men are Rayker (Joe Dellesandro) and Cooper, and we also learn Rayker is a mean SOB for a POW. Cooper is the one who gets wounded and Rayker leaves Cooper behind to get killed.
- Like Father Like Son – Jump to modern day and Rayker is training some special forces soldiers. Phil Cooper (Martin Hewitt) is the son of the dead Cooper and specifically asked to be assigned to Rayker’s unit, but Rayker is a real asshole to him. To be fair he is an asshole to everyone, but his assholery is specifically strong with the son of the man he left to die. I didn’t care for his tactics, like using live ammunition in the training and shooting Cooper, but I did like the skydiving scenes so I can live with it.
- Dungeons & Dragons – Rayker is actually total nuts. How can we judge after what he went through in Vietnam, but like I said he shot Cooper in a training mission and later hands a live grenade to another soldier during training. Need more proof? Rayker believes there is a dragon inside of him (that’s why the person who wrote the opening paragraph mentioned dragon!) and Rayker needs to feed him. Cuckoo. Rayker does have a sweet basement filled with all types of weaponry so even though he is nuts, I am jealous.
- The Gun Runners – Private War can’t live on crazy Rayker alone, so it decides to throw in some other non-descript nefarious types. Major Donnerman and Colonel Peterson are doing some illegal arms trading with some of the most bland bad guys that I have ever seen. We get no motivation for why they want the guns we never get to see any cool weapons. Rayker’s basement is the prize in my eyes. We also meet journalist Kim (Kimberly Beck) who is trying to break the case of the illegal arms deal, but really only there so the movie can say it has a female character.
- Into the Woods – The real action of Private War takes place when Cooper is assigned to drive the Major and his arms trading friends to a cabin in the woods for some hunting and illegal dealing. Rayker, having been detained for using the live grenade, escapes and tracks the men to the woods. There is no reason given for why Rayker would follow them, but my guess is he is upset with the pencil pushing Major who has no combat experience. Of course, Kim is tracking the men and all our parties are accounted for.
- Freddy Got Fingered – Rayker starts taking out the men one by one. I do have to let you know that Rayker starts by killing a dog and stringing him up like a slaughtered pig and it is not something anyone needs to see. Cooper says it is some sort of Vietnamese ritual, so I will take his word for it. Rayker also takes fingers off the dead men because ear necklaces are so last year. Men dying and corpse mutilation, I can deal with it. Killing and gutting a dog, I am done with you.
You can probably guess where Private War is going to end up. That is correct, with a Rayker versus Cooper finale. Private War didn’t do a great job having me care for the other characters that died, but it is easy to root for Cooper and what he has had to deal with in the movie. And Rayker is crazy enough to care about and he says some of the dirtiest things I have ever heard. The closed captioning wanted nothing to do with this quote, “sucking up to your daddy’s chism (sp) in your mama’s [_] and I ought to know because I was on the other side of her butt [_] her brains out.” That is the kind of character I can get behind, not because I like what he says, but because he is easy to root against. Private War may not have enough compelling characters with any real motivations but there is some entertaining action, and as an aside a castle is a nice setting for action. I don’t know if I answered the question if action makes up for lack of understanding what a character is thinking, but I do have some Private War Bonus Bullet Points.
- Also Known As – You might find Private War as Operation Paratrooper or State of Mind. Just don’t confuse it with Private Wars.
- Favorite Quote – “Mess with the best, die like the rest.”
- Best Should Be A Movie Title Quote – “Exterminating angel”. After a little research there is a movie called The Exterminating Angel and one called The Exterminating Angels and my enthusiasm has diminished.
- Best TV Show Title Quote – “Welcome to Mr. Rayker’s Neighborhood, Cooper.” I would have preferred “Hanging with Mr. Rayker, Cooper” but I am a big Mark Curry fan.
