No Surrender Cinema: Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey
It’s time for the big one…or should I say the big one-oh-oh! That’s right, we’re celebrating 100 editions of No Surrender Cinema here today with my review of a movie that started catching buzz the moment it was announced. Over the past seven years I’ve covered many of my favorite films from the action and horror genres, some of the most notable duds I’ve ever sat down to watch (looking at you, Blackbelt II), and even managed to squeeze a review of my beloved Ski School in here on this predominantly action oriented website. Still, out of everything I’ve watched in my life, I didn’t expect to be covering something like this for NSC. For NSC’s 100th, we’re off to the Hundred Acre Wood for the most hyped up horror flick to come along in a while. It’s time to have a talk about Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood and Honey!
This scary tale starts off innocently enough with an animated opening that delivers a little exposition. Years earlier, young Christopher Robin encountered a pack of anthropomorphic animals in the Hundred Acre Wood and befriended them. Christopher bonded with Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, Owl, and Eeyore and cared for them, fed them, and treated them as equals. As time passed and Christopher got older, his visits to his friends became less frequent, and eventually stopped altogether once he left for college. The group felt abandoned, and without Christopher’s continued kindness and compassion, Pooh and co. reverted back to their natural animal instincts, vowing to never speak again (bear in mind we haven’t heard a word out of their mouths, but it’s a nice way of getting around that characteristic as the film rolls on) and embracing their savage, feral nature.
So after an intro that shows us how Christopher Robin left his friends high and dry, we start the live action portion of Blood and Honey with Christopher Robin’s return to the Hundred Acre Wood! It looks like Christopher has picked up a ladyfriend in his time away from his childhood pals, and is eager to reunite with them and introduce her to Pooh and the crew. Unfortunately for poor Mary, her introduction to Piglet comes when the now boar-like critter chokes her to death with a chain. Christopher Robin is horrified, pleading with Piglet to stop, but Winne-The-Pooh shows up to help Piglet drag their old friend away. Christopher becomes a captive of the duo and is tortured relentlessly despite his begging and obvious fear of what his friends have turned into. The pleading momentarily tugs at Pooh’s heartstrings, but in the end it just fuels his rage, and Christopher Robin finds himself being whipped repeatedly by the deceased Eeyore’s tail.
Oh yeah, I should have mentioned that. Eeyore is dead because Pooh and Piglet ATE HIM (this is discussed in the opening animated portion), and Pooh has kept his tail like a serial killer keeps a memento or trophy of his victims.
Speaking of victims, plenty of them are on their way to Pooh and Piglet’s turf, because a group of girlfriends have rented a cabin in the Hundred Acre Wood. This goes about as well as you’d expehoct in any horror movie, and Blood and Honey doesn’t stray from the norm when it comes to the cabin in the woods trope. Pooh catches one girl ahead of the main group’s arrival and shoves her into a grinder (after somehow managing to yank her shirt off as she tried to escape). Another one of the women is dragged out of a hot tub and hog tied so that Pooh can reenact the vehicular homicide scene from The Toxic Avenger. For a guy…uh, bear…that’s supposedly tossed aside the human way of thinking and doing things, he certainly does like killing people in rather human ways. You’d think a six foot something yellow bear might just maul people to death, but this film has him going the Rube Goldberg route. Besides that, we’ve got Piglet running around wielding a sledgehammer as a weapon of choice. What’s up with that? Was Christopher Robin bringing him tapes of Attitude Era Triple H matches as a teaching tool?
Pooh and Piglet’s sadistic mission to dispatch of all of the ladies goes according to plan for the most part, but as their numbers shrink, the resolve of our female protagonists starts to grow. Piglet is given a reason to squeal like a…pig, and some assistance is found in a pack of townies that think the hybrid honey-loving monstrosity that stands before them is just some sick freak and not a homicidal animal. I don’t think it falls in spoiler territory to say that the townies who are introduced in the third act don’t last very long and are simply fodder for the brutish yellow bear. Things look bleak for our final girl, but that’s when Christopher Robin shows up to make his final stand and put an end to the cycle of pain and suffering that began when he left his friends for a new life.
Let’s face it, Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood and Honey is the talk of the town for one reason, and that’s because the original versions of these characters are now in the public domain, which means it’s open season for anyone to start using them. Anybody who does so is going to have to tread EXTREMELY carefully as to not use any of the trademarks or characteristics developed by Disney for their versions of the characters, but they’re free and clear to cash in on the morbid curiosity of moviegoers like myself who wanted to see how this all played out. If I’m being truthful, there’s an abundance of movies exactly like this on free streamers like Tubi or available on DVD at your local Dollar Tree with the only difference being that they don’t have iconic children’s characters as the killers. More than once I had to remind myself that this wasn’t another “killer in a weird mask” movie and that Pooh and Piglet were actually supposed to be creatures with human traits. I respect that filmmaker Rhys Frake-Waterfield did what he could with his budget, but Pooh and Piglet look more like antagonists from You’re Next than the woodland animals they’re supposed to be. Despite a heavy amount of gore, there aren’t really any spectacular kills, and no characters are developed outside of Christopher, Pooh, and Piglet.
What I will compliment the film on is the basis of the story, because the idea of these characters lashing out and becoming homicidal because Christopher Robin outgrew them was a clever and dark twists. Sadly, the rest of the film plays out like so many before it, and like hundreds more that will appear in the years to come. I know that the sequel was announced ahead of the premiere (so that should give you an idea of what to expect for an ending), I just hope that any success that this film has translates into a more polished, expanded effort the second time around.
Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood and Honey is bound to become a cult favorite, but it’s one that appears to be content to coast on its reputation as being a twisted take on characters from a children’s book. Credit where it’s due for the attempt to explain how and why Pooh and Piglet chose to embrace the dark side, but this one needed to do a bit more than take a few famous children’s characters and give them an evil spin for it to be a truly memorable film.
(Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood and Honey is now playing at a theater near you.)
