Bullet Points: Phoenix the Warrior
This edition of Bullet Points is all about Phoenix.
No, not the city in Arizona that more than 1.6 million people call home along with MLB’s Arizona Diamondbacks, the NFL’s Arizona Cardinals and the NBA’s Phoenix Suns.
Not Simon Phoenix… the dastardly villain (played by Wesley Snipes) in 1993’s Demolition Man.
And not the late, great River Phoenix.. although it is a shame that nobody has covered Little Nikita yet on this site.
The Phoenix I will be talking about is 1988’s Phoenix the Warrior, produced by the fine folks of AIP…
- What Kind of War Was That?: The world is a post-apocalyptic mess after the “bacterialogical wars” saw most of civilization wiped out by plagues. One ancient, known as Reverend Mother, rules the new world with an iron fist. All who oppose her are hunted down like animals. The Reverend Mother is a vile and evil “human being” that is being kept alive in a lab… the same lab where the Reverend Mother creates the new inhabitants of the planet, almost exclusively women, so it at least makes sense why she gets so upset when her own creations turn against her. Reverend Mother depends on her right hand woman, Cobalt (Persis Khambatta, Nighthawks) to do the dirty work, since she lives in a lab. Cobalt’s latest assignment is to round up some bounty hunters to bring the Reverend Mother, Keela!
- Please Tell Me Why: Keela SHOULD be pretty easy prey. She is a relatively meek women, who fears Reverend Mother, plus the odds are stacked against her. But Cobalt and her assortment of bounty hunters weren’t counting on a “sandtrapper” known as Phoenix the Warrior (Kathleen Kinmont, Final Impact) coming to Keela’s rescue. Phoenix helps Keela out, but the curiosity of why Reverend Mother is after Keela is eating away at her. Eventually Keela reveals the reason… she is with child and not just any child, it’s a boy! Phoenix and Keela find temporary safe haven with a tribe of women (who like to spend their free time topless under a waterfall). Keela actually gives birth to her son with help from the tribe… it isn’t long after that Cobalt and the bounty hunters find Keela and her son (who she named Skyler), but once again it is Phoenix to the rescue. Unfortunately Phoenix was unable to save the tribe, who were completely decimated by Cobalt and friends.
- Five Years Later: The next time we see the trio of Phoenix, Keela and Skyler are desert nomads and Phoenix is teaching the young boy how to throw shuriken… Aunt Phoenix is the coolest!! At one point they find a shack that they believe is abandoned only to find out it actually belongs to a guy named Guy! Guy was one of Reverend Mother’s experiments that was able to escape. After he is nearly taken advantage of by a curious Phoenix, Guy ends up becoming a valuable ally to our heroes. They’ll need an ally too because Phoenix and Keela aren’t the only ones who found Guy’s shack… Cobalt and company have found it too, they are there with orders to bring Keela and the boy child to Reverend Mother… a firefight erupts with Guy taking Keela and her son through a secret underground tunnel, while Phoenix holds down the fort and fights. Phoenix is taken prisoner when it is all said and done, but at least her friends are safe.
- Pit Stop: All prisoners of the Reverend Mother compete in The Pit, a showcase of scantily clad women doing battle, and Phoenix is no exception. Prior to the Phoenix vs. Mohawk match up, Mohawk exclaims “Looks like I’m gonna have to teach that c*nt some manners” and if those aren’t fighting words then I don’t know what would be. The Pit action is really just a pit stop for the movie, as Keela (with help from Guy) repays Phoenix for all the times she saved her ass. That leaves just enough time for the final showdown as our heroes come face to face with Reverend Mother!
I wouldn’t call myself a Kathleen Kinmont superfan, but I have enjoyed her performances in numerous projects that she has been in over the years. With that said, I don’t think I or anyone else was ever going to confuse Kinmont for Katherine Hepburn or Meryl Streep. However, when you do a side by side comparison of Kinmont’s work as Phoenix and the work of Peggy Sands (if that is her real name), who played Keela, I had a new found appreciation for Kinmont’s acting ability.
But was anyone really watching Phoenix the Warrior for the acting?!?! Highly unlikely.. the crowd that was watching was in it for the women, the action, the women, the dune buggies, the women, the post-apocalyptic tropes and the women.
The crowd that checks out my reviews read them for the Bonus Bullet Points…
- AKA: Phoenix the Warrior is also known as She-Wolves of the Wasteland.
- Up All Night: Phoenix the Warrior was a favorite of USA Up All Night. It was featured at least a dozen times on the basic cable late night staple during its run between 1989 and 1998.
- Blue Chew Quote: “There’s nothing more useless than a man who doesn’t work.”
