Bullet Points: Split Decisions

I love a good boxing movie because you usually get two things that I like in my movies: action and montages. The story can take a back seat when the action is good and there is no better way to show the passage of time than through a montage. I recently came across the 1988 movie Split Decisions and thought to myself, I like Gene Hackman, I like Craig Sheffer, I like Jeff Fahey, it is a boxing movie, I should watch. Does Split Decisions hold up to my rigorous test for boxing movies? This one will have to go to the judges.

• The McGuinns are a boxing family in New York City with Dan McGuinn (Gene Hackman, Superman) being the main figurehead of the family. He is joined by his father Pops (John McLiam, First Blood) who serves as the old timer of the family and Dan’s two sons who do the boxing, amateur boxer Eddie (Craig Sheffer, Berserker: Hell’s Warrior) and professional Ray (Jeff Fahey, Parker Kane).
• Eddie is the golden boy of the family, and that is not because he is a multiple times Golden Gloves winner (but I am sure that helps) but because he has been recently accepted to college, a first for the McGuinn family, and trains under Dan. Ray went professional and opted to sign with manager Lou Rubia (Carmine Caridi) and Dan has pretty much disowned him for his actions. Lou has gotten Ray into the shady side of boxing (classic Fahey!).

• Ray has won some fights but isn’t very talented but a win gets him a bout with highly ranked challenger Julian ‘Snake’ Pedroza (Eddie Velez, The A-Team). How do we know his nickname is Snake? He not only has a snake tattoo but a giant necklace that spells out SNAKE. A very nice bespoke piece.  Pedorza is managed by the scene stealing Benny Pistone (James Tolkan, Masters of the Universe). Everything about Pistone screams slimeball, from his slick suits, to the way he treats everyone and especially the slimy way he applies ChapStick.
• Lou and Pistone have a deal for Ray to take a dive. I told you it was the shady side of boxing. Ray originally agrees, but after seeing how Eddie reacts when Rays tells him, he changes his mind. Of course, shady boxing people are going to do what shady boxing people do and Ray ends up dead at the hands of Pedroza, but not in the ring, via the classic warehouse defenestration. Some of Eddie’s friends saw the murder and Eddie decides to forgo his amateur status to take on Pedroza. We have ourselves the totally original fighter dies and the younger brother wants revenge in the ring storyline!

• Dan wants nothing to do with training Eddie anymore because he will lose his amateur status and his dream of boxing in the Olympics. This is where Gene Hackman shows us why he is one of our finest actors. I love Sheffer and Fahey, but Hackman acts circles around the pair and everyone else in the movie. You know Dan can’t stay upset at Eddie forever and takes over the training. Enter the boxing training montage. Running, sparring, jump roping… oh my!
• I should also mention the other major player in Split Decisions, Barbara Uribe (Jennifer Beals, Taken). Barbara had a relationship with Ray, but ended (although we don’t see any of it and only get minor details) but now she is more interested in Eddie. She really doesn’t have much to do in Split Decisions, but boxing movies have to have the female love interest sitting ringside for a pivotal scene. Jennifer Beals played her role perfectly.

• The final fight in Split Decisions started out as standard boxing fare, but after the whole movie, you really, really start to hate Lou, Pedroza and especially Pistone so every punch starts to mean more. When the Pedroza cheap shorts started coming, I found myself getting more invested. Jesus Christ, why am I on the edge of my seat? Stick and move, Eddie, stick and move! When the music kicks in, you know the fight has turned…and there is Barbara ringside! Pure emotions. I love a good boxing movie!

Split Decisions has everything that I want in a boxing movie, good fighting action and a montage. Split Decisions is helped by some great acting, but also hurt by a pretty straight forward story, but I definitely enjoyed. Your mileage may vary, but maybe some Split Decisions Bonus Bullet Points will help.

• Familiar Faces – De’voreaux White (Die Hard) and David Labiosa (Bulletproof) play some of Eddie’s friends Coop and Rudy respectively and Coop even gets literally caught with his pants down in the ring. Julius Harris, who will always be Tee Hee to me, plays boxing promoter Tony Leone.
• If You Ever…– Wanted to see a cornerman putting ice down Jeff Fahey’s trunks, then Split Decisions is for you.
• Favorite Scene – At a boxing event for youngsters at the McGuinn’s gym, one of the tiny pugilists goes with an intentional punch straight to the referee’s junk.
• Not “Lady In Red” – I never knew any other of Chris de Burgh’s songs (and I own that mistake) but the end credits song “The Spirit of Man” is now in my playlist.