Bullet Points: Karate Wars
My YouTube account is very aware of my enjoyment of rare, martial arts and action movies from the 1980s and 1990s, so it really was no surprise when 1991’s Karate Wars popped up in my suggestions…
- Sin City: The movie opens up in Las Vegas… a city on the go and the host of the martial arts competition known as Karate Wars. Reigning supreme at the event is the team led by Nakaso (Gerald Okamura, Big Trouble in Little China). Watching all of the action unfold from his girlfriend Tracy’s couch is our hero Jason (Christopher Wolf). Jason intends on marrying Tracy someday, he even gives her a promise ring while the two read tabloid headlines on the roof of Tracy’s apartment building. But there’s something that Jason has to do for himself first…
- Back to School: Jason is done with just watching karate from the sidelines, he is getting back in. Jason is transferred to Sensei Oyama’s Karate 102 from an unknown class. Jason shows up late on his first day, which does not sit well with Oyama (Richard Rabago, Full Impact), so right off the bat Jason does not make a good first impression on his Sensei… at least it seemed like it in that scene. Later we learn that Jason had his initial martial arts training under Oyama… after, as a troubled teen, Jason tried to rob Oyama’s house following the death of his father. Jason would go from reluctant pupil to become Oyama’s best student… then Oyama’s life changed forever.
- Flashbacks: There are plenty of flashbacks in Karate Wars, some are extremely long and slow… I will cut to the chase… Oyama accidentally killed an opponent in the ring and the guilt ate away at him and ruined his life… he started drinking, his wife left him and he became a shitty teacher, which is why Jason walked away from his martial arts studies.
- Grand Theft Auto: In what was easily the most unexpected turn of events in the movie, Jason catches the reigning Karate Wars Champion Donald Stark trying to steal the stereo from his car. I guess Stark blew all his winnings from Karate Wars. When Stark finds out that it is Jason’s car he is stealing from, he asks Jason for the keys. This leads to a parking lot brawl, that ends when the sound of police sirens can be heard heading in their direction. When the cops arrive Stark has ran off and they find Jason under his car looking for the keys that Stark threw down and then the cops arrest Jason! The cops call Oyama, since the car used to belong to him and Jason never transferred the title to his name. Oyama goes down to the police station to clear everything up. When they get back to Jason’s car the two exchange words before things escalate… when it is all said and done the air is cleared and both men are ready for a fresh start.
- This Means War: The next day at class Oyama addresses his students, apologizing for being a crap teacher and he vows to get them ready for Karate Wars 10… the biggest Karate Wars yet with a million dollars on the line. This not only means war, it also means MONTAGES! Including a team buidling football game montage… Nakaso and his prized pupil even crash the Oyama dojo to trash talk and challenge them to make Karate Wars a winner take all event… perhaps having to split the pot is why Stark had to turn to a life of crime??… We even get Jason questioning if he can win and then getting into it with Oyama once again. It’s like Karate Wars took two steps forward and three steps back or maybe four…
- Breaking News: After building up Karate Wars 10 for basically the entire movie (the movie is named Karate Wars!!!), there’s a breaking news report that Karate Wars has been canceled indefinitely due to the promoters of the event being busted for embezzlement… But for Jason, Karate Wars was about more than the fortune and glory, he wanted to compete to prove he could win, so he goes to Nakaso’s dojo, throws down a challenge and the movie plays out exactly as it should.
The real war for me while watching Karate Wars was the battle to not hit the stop button. Karate Wars was not even close to the worst movie I have ever seen, but it was bowling shoe ugly at times. I am still confused why Jason and Oyama acted like they didn’t know one another in their first scene together… It also felt like the movie kept trying to get me to not like Jason… The fight scenes were nothing to write home about (I am looking at you parking lot brawl) and that’s usually where the lower budget martial arts movies can really shine despite not having the advantages other films may have.
One advantage this review has are these Bonus Bullet Points…
- Words of Wisdom: “People argue if a glass is half empty or half full. Just break the glass and get a new one!” – Jason
- AKA: Karate Wars is also known as Bloodfight 3.
- Oyama to English Translation: Einstein Donkey = Smart Ass
- Familiar Face: I recognized Butch Togisala as Stoner, one of Jason’s classmates. I have seen Butch in a number of movies over the years including Fists of Iron, Firepower and Champions.
- Memorable Quote: “Did you say karate dildo?” – Jason
