Bullet Points: The Road Raiders
Mash-up movies are usually a good time. Whether it is jamming two different genres of movies together, or two different specific properties, I am all for it. The Road Raiders from 1989 is one action movie that goes the route of taking two well known movies and/or television programs and making one entertaining movie. What are the movies The Road Raiders uses? Let’s take a look.
- Old School Newsreel – I love a movie that opens with a black and white newsreel. The Road Raiders not only gives us some history on the Philippines and the beginning of WW2, but also introduces us to our main characters. The Road Raiders doubles down on the narration but switching from the newsman voice directly to having the lead star Charlie (Bruce Boxleitner, Sixpack Annie) talk directly to us.
- Big Trouble in Actual China – Charlie and his partner Harlem (Reed R. McCants) are trying to get out of the Philippines after the attack on Pearl Harbor, but they are in a little trouble for some work they did before the war in China saving lives, which indirectly helped the Japanese. When the Army Captain sent to arrest the pair ends up dead, Charlie decides to take his identity and his next mission, escorting some of the dregs of the U.S. Army back stateside to go to either a psychiatric hospital or prison. Charlie is assigned a NCO to manage the group, also an expert mechanic Crankcase (Noble Willingham, Walker, Texas Ranger).
- All-Stars – The group of rejects is the highlight of The Road Raiders, and that is no slight on the superb Boxleitner and the Michael Winslow level sound effects talent of McCants. Just take a look at some of the people we meet. Einstein is the demolition expert played by Evil Ed himself, Stephen Geoffreys. Leslie Jordan, whom I always remember from another horror film Jason Goes to Hell, plays jockey turned sailor Whip. The requisite crazy person is Schizoid, which is basically two roles in one for Mark Blankfield due to his multiple personalities. However, my favorite members of the team are Black and Blue played by aplomb by the Barbarian Brothers, David and Peter Paul (The Barbarians).
- Nun With Gun – The plane the team was using to fly to Hawaii gets shot down just after takeoff and this ragtag group will have to learn to work together. Things are made easier when they run into Lt. Johanson (Susan Diol) a medical officer whose base was overrun and now hiding out with some nuns at a mission. That doesn’t stop her from keeping a machine gun in her basket. Also joining the team is young Filipino No Lye, a boy whose hate for the Japanese is only beaten by his love for weapons.
- Road Warriors – Of course Charlie not being an actual Army officer and the Japanese being so near bring all sorts of issues, especially because he has history with Shimoto (Clyde Kusatsu) one of the Japanese officers. While these story beats are pretty familiar, Crankcase having the team build radical vehicles from bombed out cars, trucks and planes is not. I’m talking about a monster truck with one Barbarian Brother driving and the other firing a roof mounted machine gun. Multiple vehicles that have airplane fuselages on truck and car chassis all loaded to bear. The Japanese tanks stood no chance.
- Suicide Subs – The Japanese are planning to use suicide submarines to take out the rest of the U.S. aircraft carriers, as if Pearl Harbor wasn’t bad enough. Charlie, forgoing his natural instinct to save himself, leads the newly christened Road Raiders, which is a better name but not as funny as when Charlie calls them the charge of the light-hearted brigade, to stop the Japanese. There is some excellent vehicular action and one hell of an explosion to end the fight.
The Road Raiders is a fun action movie with a great cast and perhaps not a completely accurate depiction of the early days of WW2 in the Philippines. It is pretty obvious that The Dirty Dozen is one of the movies it borrows heavily from, but what about the other? Did I mention that President Roosevelt himself wants the team to avoid being court martialed and go on special missions that the regular army is not suited for. That is correct, Roosevelt is directly responsible for a proto A-Team! The Road Raiders was a pilot for a potential television series that would have taken from The Dirty Dozen and The A-Team, but the series was not to be. Hopefully some The Road Raiders Bonus Bullet Points will be a nice consolation prize.
- Familiar Faces – John Fujioka (American Ninja) plays a Japanese Admiral who makes Shimoto do something tragic at the end of the movie. Tia Carrere (Relic Hunter) plays Cyanne, the young Filipino that Charlie has taken under his wing.
- Misunderstood Quote – “What’s with the ding-a-ling.”
- Soundtraxx – I was pleasantly surprised that the soundtrack not only includes the Andrew Sisters but they get a shout out on more than one occasion.
- DUVAL – I have never been to the Philippines, but I have been to Jacksonville, FL and it is pretty obvious where The Road Raiders was filmed. Does it look anything like the Philippines? I don’t know, I told you I have never been to the Philippines.
