Bullet Points: Born American
Sometimes movies teach me something I never knew before, but other times they just reinforce what I already know. The 1986 movie Born America fits into the latter; i.e., don’t end up in a Siberian prison. What I don’t know is if watching the experience of the prisoners should also be avoided. Let’s find out.
- Literal Cold Opening – Born American opens in the frozen north of the Soviet Union with a scene of woman getting chased down and raped intercut with some reindeer herding… interesting choice. Next some text comes on the screen informing the audience on the Iron Curtain but accidental crossings are not uncommon. I don’t know about you, but from what I just saw illegal border crossings aren’t the biggest issues.
- Helsinki, Gateway To The North – We finally get to meet our three protagonists in the capital city of Finland as they are on their way to the Lapland region near the Arctic Circle. Savoy Brown (Mike Norris, Death Ring) is the defacto leader and joined by capable Mitch (Steve Durham) and less capable K.C. (David Coburn). The three are road tripping up north and partake in all the classic road trip activities, rocking out to tunes, downing road beers, and synchronized pissing on the side of the road into majestic natural bodies of water. We also see they are proficient in archery and firearms. Wonder if that will be important later?
- Bordering On Stupidity – When the trio sees a sign that the Soviet border is only 1 kilometer away, they decide to get as close as possible to get some pictures. Born American, more like dumb Americans, amirite?!?! Things of course go sideways and the three men are on the run from the Soviets and on the wrong side of the border. Things get a little coincidental when they end in the same rapey village from the opening. The villagers have someone to blame the rape (and we learn murder) on, but our American friends don’t take it sitting down and fight back and we get some nice action. There is very little dialogue but plenty of explosions and plenty of dead Soviets.
- Gulag – After being on the run for a while, the Soviets eventually capture the men and they are sent to a Siberian work prison. I started to feel bad for the men when they were tortured, including the classic electrocution by nipple clamps, but I just saw them murder multiple people. I suppose that is way Born American wanted us to know that woman was raped so we know they are only murdering despicable people. They also destroyed lots of property, including a house of worship, but I am no expert in Soviet law. Either way, the prison is a real hell hole.
- Born Free – Things go bad to worse for Mitch after killing another inmate. He is sent to the lower level of the prison, which has no guards and is run by only the craziest inmates. There seems to be a constant game of live chess with only the winners staying alive. Honestly, Born American doesn’t spend enough time there and it really could be a whole movie on its own. Most of the time is spent with Savoy, which is also good because he gets to experience seeing K.C. die, falling in love with a female inmate, and planning and training (montage included!) for an escape with the mysterious Admiral (Thalmus Rasulala, Friday Foster). It is all great stuff, especially the escape when the action (and explosions) come back in full force.
Born American is definitely a better watch than being in a Siberian prison. I can say that with complete authority after never being in a Siberian prison. It manages to be entertaining as long as you can live without realistic characters and situations and look past the portrayal of every Soviet as a terrible person, which I can do both. The main characters are at least likable, even with blood on their hands, and all the explosions are always welcomed. Mike Norris certainly doesn’t have the skills of his father Chuck Norris, but Chuck also never had a character with as cool of a name as Savoy Brown. Give Born American a chance, but don’t expect high cinema and you should be ok. Here are some Born American Bonus Bullet Points that may help convince you.
- Suomi – Born American is a Finnish film directed (and co-written) by the most famous Finnish director I know, Renny Harlin. It was actually originally banned in Finland due to the violence and anti-Soviet nature so as not to upset their neighbors.
- Also Known As – You might find Born American as Arctic Heat, which makes sense in non-American markets.
- Not Quite – The trio compare the car they get in Finland to a cross between the Bluesmobile and the Batmobile. Two great mobiles, but I don’t know what car they were looking at.
