Bullet Points: The Black Six
How many action movies have you seen that start with a man kicking field goals with his girlfriend at night? Probably not very many, but the way the National Football League dominates live television ratings in the U.S. maybe there should be more. Luckily, I have one that starts with an extra point, the 1973 blaxploitation movie The Black Six.
- Charlie Brown – Eddie and his girlfriend Jenny are the two highschoolers we see on the football field in the beginning and you better believe Jenny goes all Lucy on Eddie pulling the ball away at the last moment. The pair are clearly in love, but not everyone is happy with the interracial couple. Especially Jenny’s brother Moose and his motorcycle gang. They don’t like it so much that they murder Eddie right there on the football field and suddenly Lucy doesn’t seem like a bitch for pulling footballs away.
- Starting Lineup – We next see another group of motorcycle riders. They are not so much of a gang but of a group of good natured roustabouts traveling the country doing odd jobs after returning from Vietnam. There are six in total, and all are played by current NFL players at the time. The opening credits even include the names of the teams under each actor’s name. We have Eddie’s brother Bubba Danies (Gene Washington, San Francisco 49ers), Jr. Bro Williams (Carl Eller, Minnesota Vikings), French LaBoise (Lem Barney, Detroit Lions), Bookie Garret (Mercury Morris, Miami Dolphins), Tommy Bunka (Willie Lanier, Kansas City Chiefs), and Kevin Washington (Mean Joe Greene, Pittsburgh Steelers). Four Pro Football Hall of Famers, not too shabby.
- Walls Come Tumbling Down – After learning about Eddie’s death, Bubba decides to go home after 5 years and his bike brothers decide to come with him ‘cause they ain’t go shit to do. The journey home is filled with lots of casual and overt racism, including a roadside bar that sees the six men do their part to fight injustice by fighting all the racists. The whole bar is torn apart, and by torn apart I mean the entire building is completely destroyed by the end. It is a great scene.
- My Brother’s Keeper – Bubba isn’t interested in causing any trouble in his hometown, but after his sister gives him and his friends a tongue lashing for not amounting to anything, Bubba is determined to find his brother’s killer. Unfortunately the local police are no help and Bubba is at a dead end… that is until he talks with the local drunk at a bar. For some reason, the local drunk knows all about the love life of high schoolers and tips Bubba off to Jenny.
- Kiss From a Rose – Before Bubba can avenge his brother, he needs to catch up on his high school sweetheart, Ceal. Unfortunately, this is an unwanted diversion in an action movie that has started to get light on action. Ceal has become a prostitute after high school which does lead to some intrigue and a pretty funny scene of a john literally getting kicked out of bed with Ceal by Bubba. Even under the threat of violence, the john can’t contain his racism.
- Biker on Biker Violence – Bubba finally learns about Jenny’s brother and his biker gang and when Bubba and his pals show up in the biker bar I thought for sure we are going to have another bar brawl, but nope. Moose needs to get some more muscle, so he calls in a favor with another biker gang led by Thor (Ben Davidson, another former NFLer). This leads to the final battle that we have all been waiting for with our six heroes taking on way more than a complete NFL roster. All the slow times in The Black Six are made up for with the amount of bikers getting smashed and the most flares I’ve ever seen in an action scene.
The Black Six is not a movie likely to get made today. Not because blaxploitation films aren’t common, but because NFL players make enough money playing football that they don’t need other sources of income like it was common for all players, even the superstars. While seeing NFL players kick ass is fun, there are some negatives. Quality acting is not something you should expect, but all six do an admiral job. Even showing some emotion, especially the love Willie Lanier shows to that goat. If you need an action movie to watch one Sunday when there is no NFL, you can do a lot worse than The Black Six. I also have some The Black Six Bonus Bullet Points as an extra point, just like the movie starts!
- Still Waiting – The end credits tease that the Black Six will return, but nothing to this point.
- Better Than Nothing – There hasn’t been a sequel, but director Matt Cimber teamed up with Gene Washington and Joe Greene in Lady Cocoa.
- Wrong Sport – Maury Wills, a former National League MVP, played Eddie’s high school coach.
- Best Biker Insult – “Up your exhaust pipe, mother!”
- Best Olympic Sport Insult – “Try pole vaulting with your tongue.”
