Bullet Points: The Sword and the Dragon aka Ilya Muromets (1956)

There are times where I review a film and I just know that no one is going to read it. This is one of those times. Believe it or not, there isn’t a massive demand for 70 year old Russian movies on our site. At least that is my assumption. We’ll never know unless we try….

Synopsis: A mythical knight goes on an epic journey and fights barbarian hordes in an ancient land.

• The Look: There is no doubt that The Sword and The Dragon is a gorgeous film. The colors are something to behold and the landscapes are so enchanting that the land becomes what I would consider a major “character” in the film. It reminds me of watching The Wizard of Oz and being blown away when the film transitions to the colorful magic on screen. Ilya Muromets might not have a man behind a curtain and a brick road but there is little doubt that director Aleksandr Ptushko was a wizard with a camera.
• The Story: A young man (by someone’s standards) named Ilya Muromets is essentially paralyzed. He can’t move. He can’t defend his native Russia, and he certainly can’t rise up and save his ladylove when she’s abducted by The Mongols. Shit gets super real for Ilya when some traveling dudes show up and gift him a massive sword and sing some enchanted shit to get him up and moving. Not only is he not paralyzed now, but he’s throwing boulders and ripping trees out of the ground. Ilya is now The Incredible Hulk! He also has the ability to fight for his native country. Which he does, time and time again, to the point where it is his name that is on the lips of seemingly everyone in Russia.

• Ilya the badass: Throwing rocks around is cool but he also flings swords and spears at dudes from a distance that would probably win him several Olympic Gold Medals. Ilya is now famous for being a badass and the Prince in Kiev essentially asks him to do everything for him since he knows Ilya loves his land so much. That’s why you never volunteer for anything, Ilya!
• Strong like Bull: Killin’ fools was easy but Ilya finally settles down with his ladylove only to lose her again to The Mongol Horde. Ain’t that a bitch! Luckily, Mother Russia is still there for him to commit his time and efforts to.

• Junior: Ilya doesn’t know that his son is now the adopted son of the Mongol leader. Even worse, his son is a blossoming badass, himself, and at the young age of 10 already among his greatest warriors. It means that The Mongols are more than happy to have young Muromets face off against his daddy to the death.
• Time for battle: Ilya isn’t just a physical stud, he’s also a brilliant strategist. He plays several cards with The Mongols in order to buy enough time so that the Russian troops can arrive for the battle. He plays them like whatever the Russian equivalent of a fiddle is. All is well and good when the battle begins until The Mongols break out their ace in the hole, a fucking dragon! If not for the American title of the film, I never would have expected a three-headed dragon to appear, but it certainly adds to the finale as it gives us one more reason to accept the fact that Ilya is the absolute man.

The Verdict: Propaganda or not, Ilya Muromets was a hell of a lot of fun! The film is just so beautiful to look at and the story is so easy to follow that even a dumbass like me could enjoy it. Beyond all that, the action was more than serviceable and I would put this against most medieval flicks made in modern times. It truly feels like this is more than a film and more of a cinematic experience and one that I would love to see on a massive screen someday.