Bullet Points: Ninja Terminator

2024 has been a banner year for obscure Blu-ray releases… from Vinegar Syndrome and Eureka Video’s China O’Brien releases to Severin Films fantastic The Game of Clones: Bruceploitation Collection box set to the subject of this edition of Bullet Points, Neon Eagle Video’s release of Ninja Terminator.

Not only did Neon Eagle Video release the cult classic from Joseph Lai’s IFD, but also The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry, the movie that Director Godfrey Ho cut and paste footage from and used for Ninja Terminator…

• Golden Retrievers: As the movie begins, the Ninja Empire is celebrating their 20th Anniversary by bringing together the three pieces of the Golden Ninja Warrior statue. Once assembled the Master Ninja (Chen Sing, Mantis Combat) activates the power of the Golden Ninja Warrior and becomes invincible! But the celebration is short lived for the Ninja Empire, because three of the ninjas go rogue… Harry (Richard Harrison, Ninja Strike Force), Baron (Jonathan Watts) and Tomashi all grab a piece of the Golden Ninja Warrior and get the hell out of the Ninja Empire Temple, killing anyone who attempts to stop their defection. When the Master Ninja learns of this, he tasks his right hand man and the #1 Red Ninja (played by Phillip Ko Fei of Cantonen Iron Kung Fu and Exciting Dragon fame), to kill the traitors and retrieve the Golden Ninja Warrior statue… Tomashi, who grabbed the biggest piece of the statue is almost immediately dispatched of by a red ninja, one down two to go…
• That Man Had a Family: We then cut to Tomashi’s gravesite, where his sister, Mochico, and his brother, Ecaza, are mourning. Well, Mochico is mourning, while Ecaza is trying to figure out what Tomashi may have been up to that got him killed. Drugs? Smuggling? Triad business?? Ecaza will never get his answer, because it isn’t long before Mochico is an only child! After Mochico and Ecaza stop on their road trip to enjoy the view, Ecaza is brutally murdered by some of the goons dispatched by the blonde wig wearing baddie, Tiger (Hwang Jang-Lee, Hard Bastard). Word of Ecaza’s murder gets to super cool Interpol agent, Jaguar Wong (Jack Lam, Secret Ninja, Roaring Tiger) and he immediately suspects Tiger. Jaguar then calls his associate Harry the Ninja to link the cut and paste footage from The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry to our ninja movie. Harry answers his Garfield phone and tells Jaguar he needs to get to Mochico, since she is their only lead now in recovering Tomashi’s piece of the Golden Ninja Warrior.

• Show Stealer: You would expect that the action highlight of a ninja movie would be the ninjas, but that is not the case for Ninja Terminator… the many fights of Jaguar Wong were the reason to watch this film. Jaguar gets into it with some guys when he asks for directions to Mochico’s restaurant. After his visit with Mochico, he fights two of Tiger’s guys in a parking lot! Then Jaguar goes to a pawn shop where he spots his old flame, Lily, and after a car chase the two hook up. Jaguar eventually fights some guys in a field, the pawn shop owner also ends up wanting a piece of Jaguar and the more I saw Jaguar in action, the more I wish that Jaguar Wong was the James Bond of Hong Kong and we had a series of movies about the adventures of Jaguar Wong. When Jaguar isn’t fighting he is trying to rescue Mochico, who at this point has been taken captive by Tiger’s crew.
• The Empire Strikes Back: While Jaguar is dealing with Tiger’s army of henchmen, Harry and Baron are the target of some red ninja infiltration as both men’s homes are broken into as the Ninja Empire attempts to recover the other two pieces of the Golden Ninja Warrior. The recovery attempts fail both times as Harry and Baron both arrive home in the midst of the potential robberies and transform into their ninja garb to battle the infiltrator. To the Ninja Empire’s credit, they do try to make it look like it was Harry who tried to rob Baron and Baron who tried to rob Harry… the old divide and conquer method… it doesn’t work, but it was worth a try. Harry and Baron are eventually visited by toy robots with a message that they need to return their pieces of the Golden Ninja Warrior in three days or else. Harry’s response is perfect as he tells the robot to go to hell.

• Wrap It Up: One of the benefits of having two movies mashed up into one is that you have two storylines that need resolving and in this case that means we are going to need not one, but two final showdowns! First up is a beach brawl between Tiger and Jaguar with the sand being a key factor in the outcome, plus you know it is serious because Tiger removes his blonde wig before the brawl begins! Then there’s a three way ninja battle on the rocks between Harry, Baron and Phillip Ko Fei’s red ninja which serves as the be-all end-all of the movie.

You can call it nefarious, you can call it notorious but you sure can’t call Ninja Terminator boring. There is always something of interest happening and every now and again it makes sense. Richard Harrison makes Franco Nero and an elder Lee Van Cleef look like legitimate ninjas… and the fact that he was in multiple cut and paste ninja movies despite looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world is one of life’s great mysteries.

As I mentioned earlier, the real standout in Ninja Terminator is Jack Lam’s Jaguar Wong, well Jack and the amazing job that Neon Eagle Video did in restoring the cult favorite… I have seen a lot of the Joseph Lai, Tomas Tang, Godfrey Ho ninja movies, but none of them looked as good as Neon Eagle Video’s Ninja Terminator release. Plus, there’s a ton of bonus material too. Speaking of bonuses…

Before I terminate this review, here are some Bonus Bullet Points..

• If You Ever: …wanted to see Richard Harrison slice a watermelon with a katana, then Ninja Terminator is the movie for you.
• Bastard Count: I counted five “bastards” over the course of Ninja Terminator‘s 88 minute runtime.
• If You Ever: …wanted to see Jonathan Watts eat the watermelon that Richard Harrison sliced with a katana, then Ninja Terminator is the movie for you.
• Shazam: I would like to thank Ninja Terminator for introducing me to the song “Zoolookologie” by Jean-Michel Jarre.
• Special Features: While I am in the thanking mood, I should thank Arne Venema and Mike Leeder for another entertaining commentary track. Arne and Mike lend their expertise as part of the Neon Eagle release’s special features. I especially enjoyed the stories about Joseph Lai.. pure audio gold.