20 Reasons Why You Rock: Zone Troopers
I had been long overdue for a rewatch of 1985’s Zone Troopers. When I finally sat down and watched it didn’t take me long to remember that Zone Troopers absolutely rocks…
#1. When the first thing that appears on the screen is “Empire Pictures Presents” you know you are about to be in for a real treat, because Empire Pictures never settled on doing just one thing. This is the company that gave us a modern day version of the Roman Colosseum set in outer space with a human hero battling bigger and badder creatures from all over the galaxy. This is the company that gave us a time traveling mandroid, who saves mankind with the help of a scientist, a mercenary and a ninja! This is the company that thawed out a samurai warrior and dropped him in 1980s Los Angeles. In the case of Zone Troopers, this is the company that gives us a World War II story mixed with visitors from another planet! I miss the hell out of Empire.
#2. What better way to get in the mood for a movie set in the World War II era than with some big band music and the opening credits features the biggest big band song of them all, “In the Mood”.
#3. After the opening credits we are introduced to the cast of characters, starting with Joey Verona (Timothy Van Patten, Class of 1984). Joey ends up being the heart of the movie with his child like sense of adventure and love of the sci-fi genre… both which come in handy as the events of the film play out.
#4. Then there’s George Minnensky or Mittens for those in the know. Mittens (Art LaFleur, Death Warrant) is a grizzled tough guy (you’d have to be tough to have a nickname like Mittens). Mittens and Joey’s personalities compliment one another well.
#5. The wild card of the bunch is war correspondent Charlie Dolan (Biff Manard, Trancers II). Dolan’s reporter instincts end up getting our heroes into some pretty tight spots, but who the hell wants to watch a bunch of guys playing it safe!?!?
#6. Then there’s the legendary “Iron Sarge” played by Tim Thomerson. It’s been said the “Iron Sarge” was killed a dozen times, but always managed to come back. Sgt. Patrick Stone (aka The Sarge) is probably my favorite Tim Thomerson character ever… and this comes from someone who loved his work in Iron Eagle and the Trancers series. The Sarge never loses his head despite the fact that he and what is left of his platoon and the nosey reporter looking to do a story on him, are behind enemy lines with all sorts of unexplained things happening.
#7. Being that this movie is set in 1944 Italy during World War II, that means the bad guys are some of the baddest of the bad in movie and actual history… the Nazis! If you are looking for some bad guys that are easy to root against, look no further.
#8. Before there was “Predator Vision” there was “Zone Troopers Alien Vision”.
#9. Remember all the way back at #7, when I mentioned that the Nazis were the baddest of the bad… well Zone Troopers goes one better and incorporates the nastiest of the Nazis, the SS. Something that Dolan and Mittens discover when they decide it would be a good idea to go deer hunting behind enemy lines…. way to think with your stomachs, boys!
#10. With Dolan and Mittens off infiltrating an SS camp in the middle of the woods, The Sarge and Joey discover the wreckage of a spaceship… although at first they have no idea what it is or who it belongs to. Props to the practical effects team that constructed the spacecraft and the interior sets that were used when Joey and Sarge get inside to investigate and learn what it really is… it may not look as cool as what they can do with today’s CGI, but I love me some B movie practical magic!
#11. This next thing may seem like a bad thing on the surface and not something that rocks, but it is essential to one of the highlights of the movie still to come. Dolan and Mittens end up getting captured by the Nazis when they catch them snooping around in the tent that has all the Nazi research on the spacecraft that they shot out of the sky (and subsequently crash landed on their turf).
#12. If you are a fan of interrogation scenes, Zone Troopers has you covered. Mittens and Dolan are questioned by the Nazis. The baddies think Mittens and Dolan know something about the spacecraft, but all they get in return is some good old American defiance!!
#13. The bug faced Alien hatching was another cool practical effect, that not only do we get to witness, but so does Charlie Dolan.
#14. And then it happens… I could have just listed this scene 20 times and made my life easier and I doubt anyone would have complained… The Fuhrer himself, Adolf Hitler, shows up at the camp to get a look at the captured Alien with his own eyes, but he gets much more than that. Hitler gets socked right in the nose by Mittens! It is a scene of beauty.
#15. We get some more big band music, plus some vehicular mayhem, more Nazis getting knocked out and bullets flying, when Joey and The Sarge come to the rescue of Mittens, Dolan and the captured Alien.
#16. The guys may not have made it if it wasn’t for some advanced alien technology. We get to see more alien technology, including a virtual reality like projector that creates a beautiful woman (breaking up the sausage fest) and some pretty awesome ray guns later in the film. These guns completely eliminate enemy forces without a trace!
#17. Gender reveals have become a big thing, especially since the dawn of social media.. but way back in 1985 Zone Troopers had a gender reveal of its own when the guys learn that the bug faced Alien they assumed was a him… was really a her!
#18. If someone had to be the martyr in the movie, it makes sense that it was the man I called “the heart of the movie” and that’s exactly what happens when Joey sacrifices himself to save his new Alien friend from Nazi fire.
#19. After The Sarge surrenders (with a hidden grenade) and takes out Col. Mannheim of the SS and seemingly himself… but when Dolan and Mittens make their way down the road and out of enemy territory, we see a shadowy figure waiting for them and it is revealed to be the “Iron Sarge” himself. The shot of the movie for me.
#20. Dolan promised a dying Joey that he would write about this story so everyone in his old neighborhood knew what he did. While Dolan couldn’t very well submit this unbelievable story to the traditional newspapers that normally run his stories, this story was tailor maid for Fantastic Fiction magazine and the title of the story, “Zone Troopers”!
