Bullet Points: The Dragon Lives Again
The time has come for me to review one of the most bizarre films from the Bruceploitation genre, 1977’s The Dragon Lives Again. I recall watching a cropped copy of The Dragon Lives Again years ago, after the guys over at The Clones Cast dedicated an episode to the bonkers Bruce Leung film. If I could sum up that viewing experience with just three letters, they would be W T and F.
Thanks to Severin Films’ The Game of Clones: Bruceploitation Collection Vol. 1 box set, my rewatch of The Dragon Lives Again filled the screen and the picture quality was significantly upgraded…
- Welcome to Hell: After a classic red backdrop opening credits scene, giving us a preview of our hero and many of the characters we will see in The Dragon Lives Again (and using some unlicensed music), the movie wastes no time sending Bruce Lee (Bruce Leung, Call Me Dragon) straight to hell. Bruce can thank his Earthly infidelities for landing him a spot in The Underworld. When we first see Bruce in The Underworld, he is doing the whole sleep of the dead thing and he is either really happy to be there or he has some nunchaku in his pocket. The latter ends up being true, although The King of the Underworld is offended that someone would bring a weapon with them to his realm. The King gets even more offended when Bruce wakes up and is disrespectful. The King decides to get in a bit of a pissing contest with Bruce, as he demonstrates his power by shaking a giant pillar in his lair that triggers an underworld earthquake, which just causes shit to fall on the King himself and his loyal subjects. Now that Bruce knows who’s boss, he is permitted to go about his business in The Underworld.
- Bruce Comes the Helltown: Bruce decides to go into town and grab a bite to eat. Already at the restaurant are Caine from Kung Fu (Hon Kwok-Choi, The Gambler and His Kung Fu Master) and Popeye the Sailor Man. I’m not sure I want to know what landed these two good guys in hell. Also at the restaurant is Zatoichi… who ends up bumping into Bruce and that starts a whole brouhaha between the two with Bruce using chopsticks to fight off the blind swordsman. Zatoichi scurries off and comes back with boys, James Bond and Clint Eastwood (all three work for The Godfather). Bruce may not be looking for a fight, but he’s going to get one anyway. It should be noted that the baddies managed to slip Bruce a mickey so our hero really doesn’t stand a chance. A battered and beaten Bruce is saved by Wa To (Simon Yuen, Sleeping Fist) and his two granddaughters who take them back to Wa To’s home where Bruce can recover from his injuries.
- Rogues Gallery: The aforementioned Godfather and his friends are plotting to overthrow the reigning King of the Underworld and inserting The Exorcist in his place. The takeover plot is among the topics of conversation at a party that The Godfather is throwing. The guest list includes The Exorcist, Zatoichi, Clint Eastwood, James Bond and flanking Bond is the lovely and exotic Emmanuelle to ensure we get the soft core porn genre in the mix. When the topic of Bruce Lee comes up… some of the villains express worry that Bruce Lee could screw up their plans. But The Godfather isn’t worried because they have a secret weapon on their side… Dracula and his zombies!
- Back in Black: Once Bruce is back on his feet, he is in fact trouble for The Underworld. He starts off by disrupting the gambling at the local casino, before he decides to use his time to start training people some Jeet Kune Do. Among those in Bruce’s class are Popeye and Caine, who get into it with two cops who show up… why do they need cops in hell!?!? The two beat cops, were apparently patterned after Laurel and Hardy, although they were never referred to by name. The “Hardy” cop was referred to by his badge number, which seemed to offend him. The number was 369… which reminded me of “Three Six Nine, Damn She Fine”, which is appropriate because if you are going to get low, you can’t get any lower than The Underworld.
- Kill Bruce Volume 1 and 2: All the baddies get their shot at Bruce.. Zatoichi challenges Bruce to a fight and loses…. Emmanuelle and tries to seduce Bruce, but he’s wise to it… The King’s concubines also try the art of seduction but they end up fighting amongst themselves… Dracula challenges Bruce, who at this point is in Kato gear for no apparent reason, and Dracula gets taken out by Bruce’s third leg (maybe that wasn’t nunchaku in his pocket earlier!?)… We eventually get Bruce vs. James Bond and Bruce vs. Clint Eastwood and even Bruce vs. The Godfather and The Exorcist in a handicap match… The final battle is Bruce against The King and his mummies, where Bruce gets some help from Popeye, Caine and even the One-Armed Swordsman.
If what you just read made no sense, you now know how anyone who has ever watched this movie sober felt afterwards.
The Dragon Lives Again was dedicated to “The Millions That Love Bruce Lee”. These The Dragon Lives Again Bonus Bullet Points are dedicated to the dozens that will read this review…
- Horny Quote: “Oh, what a fine pair of breasts you have.” – King of the Underworld
- Bastard Count: I counted a total of 9 “bastards” in The Dragon Lives Again.
- That Explains That: Of the Bruce Lee clones, Bruce Leung may have resembled Bruce Lee the least, but this may be the only Bruceploitation movie that attempts to explain it. We learn that when a person dies, their face and body change when they get to the afterlife. While there is no proof that this is the case, there is also no proof to discredit it either.
- Out of Context Quote: “I’m such a silly little pussy” – Emmanuelle
- Product Placement: In a movie filled with unexplainable things, the most unexplainable to me was why 7 Up was the official soft drink of hell.
- Quality Insult: “You ignorant heap of buffalo dung.”
