No Surrender Cinema: The Boxer’s Last Stand
As the world prepares for Mike Tyson and Jake Paul to trade punches in their epic showdown tonight on Netflix, No Surrender Cinema is here to help you kill time before the big fight! Let’s head back to the era where fights breaking out every five minutes was the norm and check out another slice of classic kung fu cinema. Let’s talk about what happens when a family is threatened by a gang of ruthless ex-cons in The Boxer’s Last Stand!
(A note before we get into the review: there is extremely little information to go on as far as the cast, crew, and background of this film. I did my best with the character names based on the dialogue from the movie, so I apologize in advance if any of the names are misspelled or incorrect).
The Boxer’s Last Stand does not begin as your usual kung fu fare from this era does, because instead of a fight over the opening credits or the star training and showing his skills, we start with a family preparing for a birthday party! It turns out that dear old dad is turning 60, and everybody, especially his 3 sons, are looking forward to celebrating. Unfortunately for the birthday boy, some old friends call him to rain on his parade, because after 10 years some rather unscrupulous people that Dad was once aligned with are now free, and they’re coming for him. The three sons make their intentions to defend their father known, but Dad locks them up and heads out on his own. Based on their conversation, it seems like Dad ratted the crew out and benefited by being the guy who got away, so you could make the case that the gang had good reason to target him; the ensuing five on one beatdown ends up with dad dead and tied to a post for his sons to find. One of the sons is ready to KILL THE BASTARDS (the word bastard is shouted four times in a matter of seconds, so you know he means it), but his brothers plead with him to use better judgment.
With Wen Ling (aka Dad) dead, the gang heads to the mine he owns and commits a hostile takeover by brawling and beating up the workers there. What follows is some of the sleazier moments I’ve come across in all my years of watching old school martial arts films. After killing the mine’s supervisor, the gang chases his daughter into a shack where they tear her clothes off and take turns raping her. Although one member of the gang is clearly disgusted and refuses to take part, he does nothing to stop it, nor does the young man who witnesses it but is too scared to do anything about it. The scene drags on a bit too long, focusing on each member of the gang taking his turn, not to mention some of the dubbed in dialogue (“all finished? the bitch is a goner!” and then laughing heartily) adds to the cringe factor.
Once they hear about the rape, one of the sons/brothers rushes to confront them, and he too ends up beaten and pushed off the top of a hill to his death. One of the remaining sons wants to finish the gang off right then and there, but Chai Sing (?) warns him against it, even going so far as to hit his own brother to prevent him from going at the gang and possibly getting himself killed. The brothers return home and send everyone else away, knowing that the gang will be coming for them. The pair go and hide out in a cave out in the forest, with Chin Sing attempting to be the voice of reason and thwart his brother’s impulsive nature. He tells his brother that his kung fu isn’t good enough and he should practice more, even though his brother has been spending time striking sandbags (but not breaking them Jason Stillwell style). The desire for vengeance overpowers any common sense, and before you know it Chai Sing notices his brother is gone off to fight.
The mustachioed brother (as he will be known from now on) returns home, which is now a casino run by the gang, and lays waste to a bunch of their underlings before brawling with the gang themselves. The leader (Fu Long) tells his cronies to kill the bastard, which they nearly do…while Chai Sing watches! Chai Sing remains too scared to do anything (along with the reluctant gang member who hasn’t participated in any of their misdeeds this whole time). Chai Sing watches where the gang disposes of his brother, and luckily his brother is still alive…and his brother recovers enough to read Chai Sing the riot act! Seeing that he just got his ass kicked by numerous people and got left for dead without Chai Sing attempting to intervene, you can’t blame him, although Chai Sing promises (while speaking to himself) that one day he’ll understand.
At this point the brothers go their separate ways, with a wounded Mustachioed Brother being taken in by a one-handed man and his son. Meanwhile, Chai Sing’s ladyfriend brings him to her grandfather for some additional kung fu wisdom. To make things even more confusing, the Mustachioed Brother finally states his name (the voiceover sounds like he says Wen Kali), while Chai Sing decides to grow a mustache himself. Even with his newfound facial hair, the gang recognizes Chai Sing and mock his new look, telling him that only men can grow facial hair and that since he’s such a chicken, he should shave it off. Despite watching these guys murder and assault various friends and family on top of insulting him to his face, Chai Sing sits back and lets the bad guys walk all over him.
With just 30 minutes left in the run time of The Boxer’s Last Stand I was waiting for things to pick up speed, because up to this point all we’ve seen is the gang built up like mega-heels and the supposed heroes get their asses kick, get killed, or sit back and watch while everyone gets beat up and/or killed. Of course as soon as I say that the film delivers its most memorable fight, where Wen Kali battles the big bald baddie at an outdoor church service, where a young American pastor is all “aw shucks, they’re good fighters!”. Keep in mind that the scene is not memorable for the fight, but just for the goofiness of the setting, but the symbolism of fighting at a place of worship (complete with the camera zooming in on the cross just to drive the point home) finally made me realize that The Boxer’s Last Stand isn’t your classic kickass kung fu flick…this whole time it’s been trying to promote pacificism!
Yes, you read that right, and I don’t think there’s any misinterpretation here. This is a film direct from the heyday of martial arts movies being pumped out at a rapid pace that wants to focus on our heroes NOT FIGHTING.
After an incident where Chai Sing captures Fu Long and the bald goon and the remaining gang members kidnap his girlfriend, the two sides agree to trade their respective prisoners at a bridge. The gang think they’ve outsmarted Chai Sing when they grab his girl and attempt to run off, but he disarms Fu Long and the bald goon and helps her escape. With 10 minutes to go in the film, Chai Sing finally has an extended fight scene, brawling with Mr. Chiu in a scene that sees him use a tree to pole vault into action! Wen Kali returns to take on the other gang member, and without spoiling anything let’s just say that the final fight may be the least exciting final fight to take place in the plethora of low budget martial arts flicks that were so prominent in the 70’s and 80’s.
It’s not often that the kung fu rabbit hole that Tubi provides lets me down, but The Boxer’s Last Stand is the most disappointed I’ve been in a long time. There wasn’t even one fight that stood out enough where I could even recommend it for that. Sadly, the most memorable thing in the film is the most notorious portion with the gang rape, and even though its tempered by some jump cuts and shoddy editing, it still makes for an uncomfortable five minutes or so…although I noticed when using Youtube as opposed to Tubi to look back on some scenes for this review that the version of the film that comes up first on Youtube has had that scene cut out (perhaps an edited version from TV). We’ve got the worst heroes ever so we’ve got no one to root for, the gang are not even likable assholes, and we never find out what happened to that fifth guy in the gang, who was visibly upset with the actions of his friends! There was no focus on skill either, as all of the fights were mostly punch fests with some sloppy kicks thrown in; I was throwing better kicks in my living room as a kid while mimicking better films than this one!
Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul is sure to be a spectacle tonight, and though it won’t hold a candle to the classic Tyson fights of old, I know it’s GOT to be more entertaining that this was. I suppose I was due for a bad pick after Tubi has provided me with new favorites like Mean Streets of Kung Fu and He Has Nothing But Kung Fu over the past year and a half, and it feels like the lack of information and reviews on this film supports the sentiment that it’s not worth your time. The Boxer’s Last Stand was a first time watch for me, and I can safely say that it’ll also be my last.
