Bullet Points: The Black Windmill (1974)
Sometimes I watch a movie because it has an actor I like. Other times it may be because it is based on a good novel. And a good movie poster will always get me to watch. The Black Windmill has all three reasons. The 1974 movie is based on Clive Egleton’s Seven Days to a Killing but more importantly the poster sees Michael Caine wielding a MAC-10. I can’t get enough old dudes using MAC-10s (see McQ) and throw in the taught spy thrillerness of it all and The Black Windmill is right up my alley.
- Right Movie? – If you are going to watch The Black Windmill don’t be confused about the opening like I was. Wooden alphabet block typeface opening credits might have you thinking you are watching a kiddie movie and the high pitched British kids singing “Underneath the Spreading Chestnut Tree” will have you wishing you were watching another movie. I normally hate to see harm done to children in movies but two young boys are kidnapped right at the start of the movie,but I wasn’t too upset because they were too dumb to realize the kidnapper played by obvious bad guy John Vernon is obviously a bad guy.
- Double Drabble – David is one of the boys kidnapped and he is the son of Major John Tarrant (Michael Caine) a member of the British Intelligence. The terrorist refers to himself as Drabble and he seems to know a lot about Tarrant and MI6. During a ransom call to Tarrant, Drabble specifically asks to speak with Tarrant’s boss Cedric Harper (Donald Pleasance). Who can blame him? There aren’t many people I wouldn’t kidnap to get Donald Pleasance on the horn.
- Diamonds Are Forever – Drabble wants the diamonds that MI6 has to use for their spy business. Drabble wants Tarrant to deliver them to Paris, but not before Drabble uses all sorts of sneaky tricks to frame Tarrant, including using the seductive Ceil Burrows. Unfortunately for Tarrant, both Harper and Scotland Yard’s Chief Superintendent Wray (Joss “Diplomatic Immunity” Ackland) believe that Tarrant is faking the kidnapping of his own son. There is a British Intelligence oxymoron joke in there somewhere, but The Black Windmill is a serious picture and will have none of it.
- Caine is Able – Harper doesn’t want to negotiate with terrorists and believes letting one kid die is worth saving the British population. Probably the right move… if you are a cold-hearted bastard. Tarrant disagrees, but not to Harper’s face. He wants his son back and decides to steal the diamonds and make his way to Paris. Well worth the short trip to Paris to get to hear Donald Pleasance speak French and there is some good chase scenes. Drabble is one step ahead of Tarrant, and Harper and Wray for that matter, and things go south for Tarrant. Since it was in France, the action scene features lots of wine.
- Hovercraft Alert – Tarrant returns across the English Channel via hovercraft, a mode of transportation that is one step below jetpack in my book of awesomeness. In either situation, if your movie has it, I will be watching. Tarrant did learn one valuable piece of information about the location of his son in Paris; two windmills are involved. Tarrant, with the help of his wife, find out David is being held at the Clayton Windmills (Jack and Jill for those in the know) and we finally get to learn who is behind Drabble. However, more importantly we get to see a shootout in a windmill with Michael Caine using a MAC-10 to shoot John Vernon in the junk!
The Black Windmill is a movie of its time and location. It was directed by Don Siegel and if you are familiar with his 1970s films like Dirty Harry, Charley Varrick or Telefon you will know what sort of gritty atmosphere to expect, just way more British. There are plenty of twists and turns that make spy movies so much fun and Michael Cain and Donald Pleasance are a treat. Speaking of a treat, you are in luck because I have some The Black Windmill Bonus Bullet Points.
- If You Ever… – wanted to hear Michael Caine do a Donald Pleasance impersonation then The Black Windmill is for you.
- Windmill, The Black Windmill – There are several nods to the James Bond franchise in The Black Windmill. Donald Pleasance not only played Blofeld in You Only Live Twice he actually name drops Sean Connery in a briefing confusing the famous Bond actor for a terrorist Sean Kelly. Q would be proud of the briefcase with a hidden gun that plays a large role in The Black Windmill.
- Meta – Tarrant meets his wife at the famous West End Dominion Theater with Battle of Britain on the marquee. Battle of Britain of course stars one Michael Caine (and produced by Harry Salztman for another Bond connection).
