World’s Most Dangerous Grocery Stores – Vol. 1
In all my years of grocery shopping, I can honestly say that I have never felt my life was in danger. Although with today’s prices, a person going into cardiac arrest after seeing their total is a distinct possibility.
In the world of action entertainment, a grocery store is just as likely to be filled with danger as it is fresh produce! Before you call a manager for a fact check, allow me to share this list of some of the World’s Most Dangerous Grocery Stores…
8. My Bloody Valentine (2009)
It’s after hours at Mercer’s Grocery Store. Sarah (Jaime King), the store’s manager, and her employee, Megan, are wrapping up for the night. And suddenly they hear what sounds like another person entering the store. Sarah confirms with Megan that she locked the store’s front door. Then Sarah calls out to the unseen person, that the store is closed for the night… moments later the lights go out and a terrifying figure makes his presence known. It appears to be the homicidal miner known as Harry Warden and he’s looking to add to his already impressive kill count!
Both Sarah and Megan make a run for it, but Harry manages to grab Sarah and throw her into one of the freezer cases, Sarah fighting for her life manages to get away from Harry’s grasp and starts running again, before she quickly stumbles when she gets to the end of aisle… Harry is about to move in for the kill, when he gets a mop to the facemask courtesy of Megan… Megan continues her attack, until she finds out the cruel reality of what happens when you bring a mop to a pick axe fight!
Sarah and Megan then make a mad dash for the office, where they promptly lock and barricade the door. Sarah pushes the desk and file cabinet into the door, all while Harry chops away at the wooden door with his axe. Meanwhile. Megan is frantically trying to open and unlock the office window. When she finally gets it open and squeezes her way out, the activity at the door stops… and Megan who was half way out the window, is pulled all the way out by Harry from the outside!
Sarah hits the store’s alarm, clears the barricade and runs to the front of the store. Sarah’s husband, Sheriff Axel Palmer, is waiting outside the front door and it appears Sarah is safe for now… but the husband and wife are about to make a grisly discovery in the alley behind the store.
7. Universal Soldier (1992)
Somewhere in Arizona. Unhinged super soldier, Sgt. Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren), is dragging the dead bodies of two platoon members down the aisle of a Bashas’ grocery store. Scott is looking for the store’s meat locker, in hopes of reviving his fallen Universal Soldier comrades.
When that doesn’t work, Scott storms out of the freezer and delivers an impassioned soliloquy to the stunned supermarket shoppers, all while another member of his UniSol platoon, GR76 (Ralf Moeller), chomps on a raw steak.
Scott continues his speech until law enforcement shows up and draw their weapons, Scott doesn’t hesitate to shoot all four officers dead, as a way to prove his point that the enemy is everywhere!
6. Kickboxer (1989)
Our list now takes us all the way to Thailand, where Kurt Sloane (Jean-Claude Van Damme) has just asked Xian (Dennis Chan) to become his Muay Thai master. Believing such a decision should not be made on an empty stomach, Xian points Kurt in the direction of Mylee’s grocery store.
When Kurt arrives at Mylee’s store, he tells her he’s there to pick up Mr. Xian’s groceries. That’s when Kurt learns that Xian is Mylee’s uncle and how Freddie Li and Tong Po run the province that Kurt is currently standing in. If Mylee’s words weren’t enough, Kurt is about to witness first hand what Mylee was talking about, when two of Freddie Li’s goons come to collect the weekly protection money.
Kurt doesn’t believe that Mylee should let the two jerks take her money and he’s about to do something about it. Kurt approaches the collectors and stops them from grabbing anymore money with their thieving hands! Then Kurt delivers some well placed kicks to their anatomy. When they get up, Kurt has more for them, exchanging blows with one goon, before delivering an airplane spin and tossing him out of the store. When the second goon steps up, he gets roundhouse kicked for his trouble.
Mylee is distraught, her store is trashed, the goons walk away and the village elder is most amused by the antics of Kurt Sloane!
5. Wanted (2008)
Wesley Allan Gibson (James McAvoy) arrives at The Egg Store to fill a prescription. As he patiently waits his turn in the pharmacy line, he can’t help but notice a man from across the store giving him the stink eye. When Wesley turns around he has Fox (Angelina Jolie) right in his face.
Fox tells Wesley that she knew his father, a father that Wesley never knew. Fox proceeds to tell Wesley that his father died yesterday, briefly offering her condolences, then revealing that Wesley’s father was one of the greatest assassins whoever lived… and the most important piece if information Fox shares with Wesley is that the man that killed his father is now right behind Wesley, yep ol’ stink eye himself!
In a flash, Fox grabs hold of Wesley, moves him out of the way and a supermarket shootout begins! The pharmacist hits the deck, screaming customers going run wild down the aisles, while Fox and Wesley find themselves with their backs against a cereal endcap display. This is the perfect opportunity for Fox to break out her gun attachment that allows her to see and shoot around corners!
When Fox realizes that the hitman is using the store’s security mirrors to get eyes on his prey, Fox shoots them out. Wesley now makes a run for it and comes face to face with his would be killer.. but one well placed bullet from Fox barbeques the hitman and saves Wesley’s ass.
4. Rumble in the Bronx (1995)
Vancouver, British Columbia. The Bronx, New York. When gang leader Angelo is called out for stealing at a local supermarket by the store’s owner, Elaine, it doesn’t take long for things to escalate.
Angelo grabs one of the drinks that Elaine expects him to pay for and he smashes the bottle on the floor. The intimidation of Elaine continues, when Angelo is joined by one of his fellow gang members that starts ransacking the candy display… but the gang members really should have checked the schedule to make sure Keung (Jackie Chan) wasn’t scheduled to work that day!
Keung confronts the candy crusher, but then suddenly the two gang members become four gang members, and even worse Angelo pulls a knife! Elaine, trying to diffuse the situation, says she doesn’t want any trouble and that she was mistaken… but Angelo doesn’t want to hear it. He probably didn’t want the broken nose he was about to get from Keung either!
Keung hits all four gang members with rapid fire fists and chops! Keung kicks one gang member across a table display! Keung then removes his jacket to defend against a knife wielding foe that ends up crashing into a Pepsi display! When Keung threatens to hit Angelo again, Angelo flinches and turns around so fast he doesn’t notice the support pole until he runs into it face first!
With only one gang member remaining in the store, Keung forces him to apologize to Elaine before warning him to not make anymore trouble!
3. Stone Cold (1991)
It’s 9:38pm local time in Birmingham, Alabama. Suspended police detective, Joe Huff (Brian Bosworth), strolls into a supermarket where there is a robbery in progress. Three armed thugs are looking for some easy money and terrorizing a store full of customers and employees. When the psychotic ring leader of the treacherous trio hears the sound of a squeaking shopping cart wheel, he orders his boy Charlie to go check it out!
Charlie grabs his shotgun and soon finds Joe sampling one of the store’s fresh baked cookies, seconds later Charlie finds himself out cold on the floor. Once again the ring leader barks out orders and has his other buddy see what happened to Charlie… things end up even worse for him when he gets a shotgun swung at his face, sending him into one of the freezer cases!
Now the ring leader is pissed, his plan is falling apart and he resorts to threatening the life a hostage, a teenage girl with braces, that he has dubbed Tinselteeth. But Joe, who is one aisle over, is about to Popeye his ass, when he tosses a can of spinach over to the next aisle, causing the psycho to fire his gun and take out an innocent display of orange soda! Now completely frustrated, the would be robber takes off running and falls right into Joe’s trap… as he slips on a spill on aisle four and goes ass over tea kettle into a Coca-Cola display!
When some uniform officers and a detective arrive on the scene, they ask what Joe has to say for himself this time… he tells them they’ve got a cleanup on aisle four as he saunters out of the grocery store in stone cold fashion. And speaking of Stone Cold…
2. WWE Smackdown (December 13, 2001)
The Green Frog Market in Bakersfield, California. Booker T is in the cereal aisle sampling the products, when he hears a familiar voice over the store’s intercom, it is the voice of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin! Moments later Booker spots a bald man in a black t-shirt walk by… Booker attacks the bald man from behind, only to find out, it was not his intended target… instead it was an innocent bald bystander doing some grocery shopping.
A bewildered Booker then hears the sound of a beer can opening up behind him, this time it is “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and “The Texas Rattlesnake” immediately goes on the offensive, with fists and forearms and mudhole stomping boots to the body of Booker T.
The brawl quickly makes its way to the produce section before Austin whips Booker into some canned goods, pausing to enjoy the holiday flowers on display and then politely asking Booker if he has any Grey Poupon!
Things get nuts, before Austin drags Booker to the baking aisle where he dumps a bag of flour on the five time WCW Champion. Austin puts Booker into a shopping cart, then almost immediately dumps the cart over. Austin with a giant salami “microphone” breaks into a little Dean Martin, before nailing Booker with a big pizza pie like a moon hitting his eye and putting Book back in the cart.
Austin takes a Steveweiser break before pushing Booker and the cart into the stock room area, where Austin begins pelting Booker with eggs! Booker finally gets a kick in before Austin can nail Booker with a case of Premium saltines. Booker manages to put Austin in the dairy case and lock the door.. but Austin comes out the front of it, asking Booker if he’s got milk?
The torment continues as Austin throws some fresh ground coffee beans at Booker, before loading him up on the conveyor belt at the checkout stand… Austin calls for a price check on a jackass as he walks out of The Green Frog with the sound of police sirens approaching!
1. Cobra (1986)
Los Angeles, California. There’s a tense hostage situation at The King Market where a crazed gun man, spouting New World rhetoric, has already opened fire on a store full of customers and killed at least one innocent bystander.
The LAPD have the store surrounded and Detective Monte (Andrew Robinson) is attempting to negotiate with the killer… but when standard operating procedures aren’t getting the job done, Captain Sears (Art LaFleur) makes the decision to call in the Cobra!
Moments later, Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone) comes roaring into the grocery store parking lot. Cobretti makes his way inside and if not for his quick reflexes, nearly becomes the killer’s next victim! Cobretti takes cover behind an elaborate Pepsi display, before cracking open a nearby Coors, where he takes a swig before tossing the can to distract the killer, who is threatening to kill the remaining hostages if the TV cameras he has demanded don’t show up.
Cobretti makes his way down the freezer aisle, carefully plotting his next move. Cobretti then grabs the store’s intercom and threatens to waste the killer. This leads to a face-to-face confrontation between the maverick cop and the delusional psycho, that ends when Cobretti throws a knife into the killer’s abdomen, before blowing him away. The killer was the disease and Cobretti was the cure!
