Bullet Points: Born to Ride (1991)
It was about this time I thought to myself that I need to watch a motorcycle movie. Motorcycles are a classic action movie genre that I can’t help but go back to watch. When I saw that TV’s John Stamos starred in Born to Ride from 1991 I knew I found my next motorcycle movie.
- Get On Your Bikes And Ride – Born to Ride opens with John Stamos (Never Too Young to Die) as Grady Westfall riding his Harley-Davidson with other bikers and just being the coolest dude in 1939 Kentucky. Grady just won a trophy for his motorcycle prowess and is ready to celebrate when a lovely young woman driving a convertible catches his eye. A lovely young woman that happens to be Beryl Ann Devers (Teri Polo) the daughter of Col. James Devers (Sandy McPeak, The Osterman Weekend) of Ft. Manning Fame. The same Ft. Manning that is home to the 30th Division of the First Mounted Calvary.
- Horse Power – This being 1939, the Army is in the infancy of phasing out horses for motorcycles but the horsemen really don’t know what to do with horsepower greater than one between their legs. When a demonstration on the bases goes terribly wrong and Grady sneaks in to show off to Beryl Ann, the Colonel gets an idea. An idea that sees Grady avoiding jail time for breaking into the base by enlisting in the Army to teach the motorcycle noobs how to ride.
- Driver’s Ed – Grady’s first lesson sees him take his students, with the only important ones being Novak (Kris Kamm), Broadwater (Keith Cooke, China O’Brien), Cartucci (Dean Yacalis), Levon (Salvator Xuereb) and Brooks (Justin Lazard), on an off base training that involves trick riding and beer. I like his style. Of course when the training ends up with a bunch of half-naked drunk privates the Army doesn’t like his style. Especially Capt. Jack Hassler (John Stockwell, Radioactive Dreams), Grady’s commanding officer and other love interest for Beryl Ann.
- Pure Evil – Born to Ride is set before WW2 and we need a reason for the mechanized cavalry to be used. That is why an atomic scientist and his daughter are captured by the Spanish so Franco can attempt a trade with Hitler. Damn Nazis! Luckily, the scientist is being held in Spain in an old castle that is just off the path of an international off-road motorcycle race. A race the Army will be entering a select few to attempt a rescue mission. Grady’s training just got real.
- Punch Out – There is nothing like a knock down drag out no holds barred slobber knocker that brings two men that don’t like each other together. Jack and Grady fight all over the base from the stables, to the mechanic shop and end up in the shower, but they start to get a little respect for each other. Throw in a training montage mixed with a motorcycle prep montage and we just might have a team ready to save a scientist and his daughter.
- Campeonato del Mundo – The motorcycle race plan is off to a great start… until those damn nazis show up. Nazis may suck, but the action really picks up for the finale with explosions, gun fights and all the trick riding you could ask for. There is also a great death scene that came out of left field. Spoiler alert, not everyone makes it back stateside.
Born to Ride was not well received when it first came out in 1991 and I can probably see why. Uncle Jesse as a war hero might not have been palatable. Given the passage of time, John Stamos’ likability outweighs any lack of action star presence and I can never be upset with a young Teri Polo.. Born to Ride is not a lighthearted movie, but it is also not a serious movie. It works in a middle ground that you need to be expecting before watching. The cast is more than adequate (especially Keith Cooke kicking ass) and the action is surprisingly fun… I forgot to mention the awesome train scene. Speaking of surprises, I happen to have a rare treat for you, some Born to Ride Bonus Bullet Points.
- I Was Told Casper Van Dien Was In This Movie – You are probably thinking of the 2011 movie of the same name with Casper.
- Familiar Faces – One of Grady’s good motorcycle buddies Willis was played by Thom Mathews, whom I always remember from his work with Albert Pyun in movies like Bloodmatch, Raven Hawk and plenty more. Not familiar to me, but I’m guessing John Stamos recognized the pilot played by his father Bill Stamos.
- If You Ever… – Wanted to see John Stamos with a toilet seat around his neck than Born to Ride is for you.
- Pond Eroticism – In a scene that gave me flashbacks to Smoke n Lightnin, Grady and Beryl Ann get busy in a stagnant body of water.
- Perfect End Credits Song – Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” is a great way to end this movie and this Bullet Points.
