Bullet Points: The Ninja Squad (1986)
It was Bell Biv DeVoe that taught the world about the “smack it up, flip it, rub it down” method of lovemaking.
But it was Godfrey Ho that taught the world about the “cut it up, paste it, send it out” method of filmmaking.
My latest Godfrey Ho movie experience was 1986’s The Ninja Squad, the subject of this edition of Bullet Points…
- Time Flies: One moment we see young Billy at the ninja academy in the woods, learning the history and ways of the ninja from his master, Gordon (Richard Harrison, Ninja Terminator). The next, Billy (Rey Malonzo, Challenge the Ninja) is all grown up and has made his way back to the city. Billy’s mother and brother are thrilled to see him… even though his mother wonders what in the hell Billy is going to be able to do with a degree in ninjutsu. However, Billy’s acquired skills soon come in handy when some gangsters show up looking for rent money… rent money on a property that Billy’s family already owns?! Billy kicks some ass and scares them off, but this isn’t the last we’d see of them… Meanwhile, back at the ninja academy Gordon receives a message via shuriken! It is a challenge from Ivan the Red (Dave Wheeler, Ninja Commandments)! Ivan wants to fight Gordon for ninja supremacy, if Gordon does not accept this challenge, Ivan will kill one ninja every month until he does… Gordon has until the next full moon to answer the challenge. Then two scenes later, Ivan the Red finds the White Ninja and kills him… has it already been a month!?!?
- Ooooh Billy, Billy, Billy: We learn that Billy is “friends” with Lisa, the daughter of the police chief… Billy knowing his family is having money trouble, wants to become a cop (a suggestion Gordon gave him before Billy left). But when Lisa broaches the subject with her father, who was just complaining that all his new recruits are college boys who can’t fight, he balks at the idea of a trained ninja joining the ranks?!?!? Furthermore, the chief forbids Lisa from even seeing Billy. To further establish how off base the chief is with his Billy assessment, we see Billy stop some brazen purse thieves… the exact type of work that a cop would do! Not long after, Billy and his “ninja skills” are called upon to rescue some kids, which includes Billy shooting the bad guys with an automatic weapon… the exact type of thing a cop or ninja WOULDN’T DO, maybe the chief was right!?!?
- Gang Related: Billy has definitely stepped on some gangster toes now… first the incident at his family home, then we find out the guys Billy shot were mobbed up. The bad guys already have Billy’s sister working against her will for their all female courier division, but that’s not enough. They want Billy dead, I believe the exact quote was “Eliminate the bastard!”… Cut to Billy’s mother praying the rosary, right before she is riddled with gangster bullets! Now they have definitely stepped on Billy’s toes and he is out for revenge. Lisa believes Billy should let the law handle this. But Billy reminds her that he is a ninja, he has his own laws and knows what’s right… In between all of that, Ivan the Red paid a visit to the Yellow Ninja and I once again asked myself if another month had passed!?!?
- Quality Police Work: With the ninja body count on the rise (apparently all these ninjas Ivan is visiting live in the same city), the Chief believes that Billy is the killer since he knows what we all should know… only a ninja can kill a ninja! It’s no surprise that Billy has turned to drinking… he lost his mother, the mob has his sister and his girlfriend is not supporting his choices. But before Billy can get drunker than Cooter Brown, Ivy steps in… who the hell is Ivy?!?! She was the woman who had her purse snatched earlier and wanted to repay Billy and buy him a drink. But since he started without her, she decides it may be better if she gets him out of the bar and back to her place… Billy may be getting one helluva thank you from Ivy!! Unfortunately, some of the mob goons spot Ivy and Billy leaving the bar and follow them back to Ivy’s place. Ivy ends up dead, Billy ends up wounded and his need for revenge only grows stronger… Cut to Ivan the Red, who has tracked down the hard to see Camouflaged Ninja and kills him, seriously another month has gone by?!?!?
- And Then There Were Four: The Chief is really pissed now… three ninjas have been killed on his watch and he still has Billy as his #1 prime suspect! But it gets worse… Ivan the Red visits the Black Ninja and kills him bringing our ninja body count up to 4 and making me really question if Ivan knows how to read a calendar! With no ninjas left to kill except Gordon, Ivan the Red goes to Gordon’s place in the woods and challenges him face to face. The fight is set for the next day at dawn… Meanwhile, Billy has been patched up and is ready for his final stand against the mob! Again, Billy opts to use a rifle instead of his ninja skills and at first it seemed like the right call as Billy takes out numerous baddies before the cops show up and the Chief (with Lisa at his side) pleads with Billy to surrender, promising that the court will give him fair treatment. Billy thinks it over and eventually complies, throwing his rifle down and his hands up… SPOILER ALERT… he is the shot in the back by an off camera Ivan the Red?!?! Billy’s death causes a disturbance in the Force and gives Gordon extra motivation heading into the final ninja battle!
The Ninja Squad may have been one of the more lucid “cut and paste” masterpieces from Godfrey Ho, Joseph Lai and IFD, even with a questionable timeline of events. The ninja action is what you would expect, but for me it was the tragic tale of Billy that stuck with me. Often times, I forget these movies as soon as I am done watching them (sometimes while I am watching them) but that was not the case with The Ninja Squad… which will only encourage me to press my luck and go back for more “cut and paste” ninjas in the future.
If you want more bullet points, I’ve got some bonus ones at the ready…
- Soundtraxx: The Ninja Squad introduced me to the song “Hu” by Dif Juz.
- Bastard Count: There were a total of four “bastards” in The Ninja Squad, almost equal to the number of dead ninjas in the movie.
- Source Material: The non-ninja footage in The Ninja Squad was taken from the 1984 Filipino movie, Hatulan Si… Totoy Angustia.
