Bullet Points: Good Girls Don’t
During the holiday season you always hear people telling children to be good for goodness sake because Santa is always watching. Hey children, sorry to be the one breaking this to you, but just because Santa is watching his views don’t mean squat when it comes to box office numbers and ratings. You will have to make the decision on what is more important, a few presents once a year or a successful movie. I know which way Good Girls Don’t went.
- Pure Excitement – Good Girls Don’t opens with a dance number while the song “Good Girls Don’t Do Those Things” is playing. I know this thing just started, but as an aside, is there a crowd that has more fun and hams it up on screen than an exotic dancer crowd? There are about 10 men of all shapes and sizes and stereotypes hootin’ and hollerin’ who couldn’t be having any more fun. What a time to be alive.
- Pure Banality – On the the other end of the spectrum, we meet secretary Jeannie, or mousy secretary as I have seen her described. Jeannie is played by Renee Estevez of the famous acting Estevez. Jeannie’s boss wants her to hire a dancer to perform at contract negotiation. Jeannie is not too happy with the plan, but that is some serious next level sexual harassment business tactics.
- Busty Betina – The dancer that is hired is Betina (Julia Parton) and she is the complete opposite of Jeannie, and who else would think it would be entertaining to see these two ladies team up. Betina is actually very smart and strong, a wiz in the stock market and a black belt dontcha know. Jeannie is impressed with Betina, thinking she was just a stripper, but she caught the end of Betina’s stage act, so if she was anything like me she was already impressed.
- Some Girls Do – Jeannie’s boss ends of up dead, and this of course is after Jeannie is caught arguing with him over his sexual harassment and Betina is seen arguing with him after he didn’t pay her for her performance. Neither woman killed the boss, but Jeannie did run off with the money that was supposed to be for the business deal because she wanted to embarrass her boss. It is hard to embarrass a dead man, you dummy. Through some comedic misfortunes, Jeannie and Betina end up on the lam together.
- Money Chase – Did I mention that Jeannie’s boyfriend/ex-boyfriend happens to be self-centered police detective Montana played by Christopher Knight? Well not only do the police think that Peter Brady would be the best person to catch the women, they think that someone who has a personal connection is ideally suited. The other party involved in chasing down the women is Wilamena (Mary Woronov) and her muscle bound henchman. Wilamena is the big boss behind the money that was in the negotiations. It is all a whole bunch of fun.
- Late Swerve – There is lots of fun action to be had during the chase, including a shootout at the Pink Hotel parking lot and a sojourn to prison letting us hear the impressive vocal talents of Julia Parton. Good Girls Don’t takes a real serious turn when police officer Cody shows up to lay down some heartfelt words for both women. Completely out of leftfield, but it took Good Girls Don’t from a silly action comedy to a legitimate action comedy with silly parts.
Good Girls Don’t proves that it doesn’t matter who is watching, the main goal is to entertain. It might not be a masterpiece when it comes to action or comedy, but it succeeds in both and that little bit of heart will melt the ice in your cold frozen soul. If you are not convinced, maybe I can offer you some Good Girls Don’t Bonus Bullet Points.
- Knackless – Julia Parton might be famous for being in adult movies, but she does the singing for most of the songs and they are very impressive. Not impressive is the missed opportunity of having The Knack’s “Good Girls Don’t”.
- Triple Threat – Good Girls Don’t was written, directed and produced by Rick Sloane.
- Familiar Face – I couldn’t help but recognize Rico Constantino, or maybe you might know him as just Rico from his WWE days, as one of Wilamena’s goons.
