Bullet Points: Eastern Condors
In this edition of Bullet Points, I once again turn to my stack of DVDs from my local Goodwill and what may very well be my best thrift store find to date… 1987’s Eastern Condors.
- Backstory: In the final years of the Vietnam War, the United States had stockpiled an arsenal of bombs that were never used. Now two million pounds of explosives remain hidden somewhere in the Vietnamese jungle and the decision is made that a team needs to go in and destroy the arsenal before it falls into the wrong hands. BUT, the United States can not send any of their troops in… instead the decision is made to send in Chinese American prisoners to do the job and upon completion, the prisoners would be granted a full pardon and given $200,000 US dollars to start a new life. The name given to this mission… Eastern Condors!
- Dirty Dozen Minus Two: While a dozen prisoners are selected, the leader of the mission, Lieutenant Lam (Lam Ching-Ying, The Big Boss) opts for a team of ten… we are introduced to them in rapid fire fashion as Lam is briefed on each of the 10 prisoners he has chosen and the crimes that landed them in prison… many of them have nicknames like Fingers, Turbo, Mouse and Filter and the last guy to be introduced is Tung Ming-Sun (Sammo Hung, Knockabout). The first time we see all 10 together is in the plane flying them to their unknown destination… prior to taking off Lam has a quick meeting with his superior, Colonel Yang (Melvin Wong, Righting Wrongs) who tells him about his brother that was stuck in Vietnam… setting up a side mission for the team.
- Welcome to the Jungle: The team makes the big leap when they hit the drop zone and to help them arrive in Vietnam undetected, are three members of the Cambodian underground. One member of Lam’s team doesn’t even survive the jump and spoiler alert… he won’t be the last team member that is lost. The first bit of action comes when the team finds themselves at odds with some Vietnamese soldiers patrolling on Hurricane Aircats… their timing couldn’t have been worse for Fingers, who went out to take a shit. It was the last shit that Fingers would take. From there it is off to the village that Colonel Yang’s brother is at. Despite being warned by the leader of the Cambodian trio (played by Joyce Godenzi) that there are troops in the village, Lam wants to proceed with the side mission.
- Pop Goes the Weasel: Business picks up at the village and the village is where we also meet The Weasel (Yuen Biao, Wheels on Meals). The Weasel aka Man Yen Chieh, is a bit of con man. He makes his living selling western goods to the locals and he’s quite the showman… and quite the fighter. Weasel believes that his “crazy uncle”, Yeung Lung (Haing S. Ngor, Vietnam, Texas) knows where some treasure is hidden… so when Lam and Tung come looking to take Yeung Lung (he’s the brother Colonel Yang wanted Lam to find). Weasel tries to prevent it… but soon Weasel and Yeung Lung find themselves joining forces with Lam, Tung and the others since they are now all at odds with the Vietnamese soldiers… which will be the theme for the remainder of the movie as our heroes look to complete their main mission.
- The Challenges: It isn’t long before the team is captured and Lt. Lam finds himself being interrogated. That is followed by the obligatory escape, some revelations including the fact that their is a traitor on the team and more action than words can do justice. Following their escape, The Giggling General basically declares war on the Eastern Condors so they have their hands full up until the very end. And speaking of the end… as awesome as it was to see Sammo Hung in an action with guns and helicopters and explosions, etc. I was glad the finale featured a big martial arts showdown… allowing Sammo and Yuen Biao to dance with what brung them.
After experiencing Eastern Condors for the first time, I was having trouble believing that someone would willingly donate a DVD copy to Goodwill. Hopefully the donator upgraded to Blu-ray and were looking to brighten someone else’s day with the DVD… if that’s the case, mission accomplished and I will pardon them for parting with such a great piece of Hong Kong action. I will not however reward them with $200,000.
Eastern Condors is filled with every kind of action that an action fan could want. I guess that’s why they say there ain’t no action like Hong Kong action, cuz Hong Kong action don’t stop. Ok… not sure if anyone actually says that, but it certainly applies to Eastern Condors.
Ain’t no bullet points, like Bonus Bullet Points, however they do eventually stop…
- Familiar Faces: I couldn’t help but recognize the one and only James Tien from The Big Boss and Fist of Fury fame as a disgruntled customer of The Weasel thanks to some contaminated booze that gave him the shits for days… I also recognized Yusuaki Kurata (Mad Mission II and Edge of Fury) and Phillip Ko Fei (Exciting Dragon and The Gold Connection) as Vietnamese soldiers.
- If You Ever: …wanted to see some kid soldiers play Russian Roulette, then Eastern Condors is the movie for you.
- Double Duty: Sammo Hung was both the star and the director of Eastern Condors.
- Favorite Scene: The scene where the traitor amongst our heroes is dealt with, really caught me off guard and I had to rewind so I can swear at the TV for a second time.
