Bullet Points: 7 Lucky Ninja Kids

Sometimes movies with different names can be confusing. Other times it doesn’t matter which name you use because they are both perfect. The latter is true for 7 Lucky Ninja Kids or as you may also find it Lucky Seven. The key word is lucky, as in we are lucky the movie was made because there is a lot to like.

• The Gangs All Here – Opening credits that show the audience the members of a team is a favorite of mine. When the opening also shows kung fu kids beating up on adults I am hooked for the rest of the movie. 7 Lucky Ninja Kids introduces us to the 7 Lucky Stars Gang including Little Chilli (although I only heard her being called Judy in the rest of the movie), Little Fatty (we are never too young for a little body shaming), Bumpkin (who like Little Chilli is usually just called Dummy), Little Elf (the short one I guess), Rocky (who is known as Rambo when he visits America because that is how he is dressed and that gets a big guffaw from the rest of the gang but is also the leader), Two Teeth (he has more than two) and finally Hsun Hsiao-Mao (he must have got the shot straw when pulling for names).

• Diamonds Are Forever – I can’t explain what these kids are supposed to be up to and why they just run around the city, including in a fancy convertible sans seatbelts or any sort of restraints (and yes, I am jealous) but soon after the movie starts they end up at a fancy restaurant in matching outfits. There happens to be a shady deal for a diamond going on at the restaurant with some gangsters. I really didn’t know why or what was happening, but when a fight breaks out with John Carpenter’s “Halloween Theme” playing it could have been a scene with paint drying and I would be entertained with that music. Luckily, these kids can kick ass and the fight was a sign of things to come. You probably won’t be shocked to find out the kids end up with the diamond.
• Wild Goose Chase – After the first fight, we get one fight scene followed by comedic scene after another, and sometimes both together. The two common threads are the kids doing outrageous stunts and excellent music selections. Right after the restaurant there is a chase and fight in a parking garages (they are dangerous places as you should know) that has the dumbest triangle shaped fire extinguisher that nearly took me out of the movie. If it wasn’t for the movie jumping to a mall with Survivor’s “Burning Heart” I might have turned it off. In fact, every time the movie jumps to the mall “Burning Heart” is blasting.

• 2 + 2 = 1 – The action is a lot of fun, but the comedy might be even better. I couldn’t have been happier to see two of the kids doing the old trick of one sitting on the other’s shoulders with a trench coat pretending to be an adult. Classic! The fight scene at the ice skating rink starts with Judy break dancing to Wham!’s “I’m Your Man” which was a highlight of the movie and probably made Raygun jealous. There is a chase with the kids riding BMX bikes and you better believe two poor schmos are crossing the street with a pane of glass. Some of the jokes might not have aged well, like when during the ice skating fight the boys mistake Judy’s request for them to show their stuff. Or when there are some laughs at the expense of a man dressing up as a woman and other laughs at the expense of a not very bright gangster.  There is no way to expect as many scenes of groping women’s butts played for comedy. 
• This Warehouse Frightens Me – The finale features a warehouse fight where the kids show why the movie is worth watching. We see the kids doing many of their own stunts, which includes getting tossed around and falling off stairs let alone the fighting. Each kid has their own unique gimmick and look and they are easy to like, especially when one is dressed as a ninja. Judy is the real stand out, and I probably liked her character the best. That is until she saw the hired goon played by Eugene Thomas and had to say she thought that he looks like a chimpanzee. Oof.

7 Lucky Ninja Kids is a fun action movie that can only be recommended if you don’t mind seeing kids being the lead characters. You also can’t be too interested in a complex story or characters that have any depth besides stereotypes. I have no moral compass and I will never tire of seeing asses getting kicked in movies so I had a good time, plus the music was top notch. If you think you would like 7 Lucky Ninja Kids you might want to check out the 7 Lucky Ninja Kids Bonus Bullet Points.

• Misunderstood Quote – “I hit a bunch of nuts in there.”
• Lovely Soundtraxx – Besides the songs already mentioned I enjoyed hearing “I Just Called To Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder and Santana’s “I Love You Much Too Much”.
• Missing Characters – The cover for Lucky Seven claims some of the characters have different names like Little Chilli is Small Pepper, but I was disappointed the version I watched didn’t have Bullshit as one of the characters.
• Sexist Quote – “Girls are just disgusting and pathetic.”
• Instrumental Soundtraxx – Rick Wakeman’s “Overture” (Parts 1 and 2) give the music an epic feel. You can’t go wrong with a little Jerry Goldsmith music that was used in The Twilight Zone. And “Legend of Ancient China” from The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires felt right.