Bullet Points: Snowman’s Pass (2004)
Survival action is a go to action genre for me. When I need something to watch, I can’t go wrong with seeing people struggling to survive against mother nature (and usually some pretty mean nasties). When an action movie has one of my personal favorites Marc Singer, it can be any kind of movie and I will watch but Marc Singer in a survival action movie?!?! Sold and I’ll take a little rock climbing Nicole Eggert on the side. Snowman’s Pass, you perfect little son of a bitch.
- Deadman’s Pass – Snowman’s Pass opens with Diana Pennington (Nicole Eggert, The Double 0 Kid) hiking in the mountains with her boyfriend Brian (Garvin Cross). And I am selling it short by saying mountains, but specifically they are hiking at Snowman’s Pass! And I am selling it short by saying hiking because there is also a short little make out session in the Snowman’s Pass weather station. And I am selling it short by saying boyfriend because Brian proposes to Diana right there on Snowman’s Pass. Of course Brian almost immediately falls in a climbing accident and he dead. At least he got to make out with Nicole Eggert pre-death.
- Like A Diamond In The Sky – Diana goes to get help and when she returns Brian’s body is no longer there and its never explained if an animal got him, or cannibals, or what I believe, Brian was regretting his decision of getting hitched and took the honorable way out and faked his death. Either way we don’t need an explanation because it only used to further the plot and introduce Marc Singer sooner to the movie. It is now two years later and Curt Seavers (Marc Singer, Street Corner Justice) is looking to hire Diana to take him to Snowman’s Pass to help him test a satellite used to find lost people or in this case Brian. Diana’s bullshit meter was going off just like yours should be but she never got to say goodbye to Brian and f’in Marc Singer is just too convincing.
- Welcome To The Forest – Diana leads Curt, his bodyguard Hugo (Mike Dopud, The Predator) a man so clearly up to no good you can almost see his forked tail and horns. The last member of the party is Tyler (George Stults, 7th Heaven) and he is the computer expert… and mountain climbing expert… and good looking expert. God I hope Tyler and Diana have a romantic connection, they are just too perfect for each other, especially because Diana is not saddled with that ball and chain Brian.
- Shocked – Color me shocked when it turns out Curt is up to no good. Marc Singer had me fooled, but not that bastard Hugo he gave it away. Tyler is partly bad, but being bad for good reasons, so I can still ship Tylana. Curt and his team want to find a satellite that fell in Snowman’s Pass, but Diana finds out and we are in for some survival action. Survival action that features a lot of rock climbing and one solitary booby trap and I am all for it.
- Diana ‘John McClane’ Pennington – Diana’s spirit animal has to be John McClane, Die Hard 2’s John McClane because the same shit happens to the same girl twice. Just when Diana and Tyler start to have a connection, he falls off a ledge and if it wasn’t so damn sad it would be hilarious. And I am selling it short by saying he falls as he was more thrown by Curt and Hugo to get Diana to surrender. Badass move by a couple of badasses.
Snowman’s Pass had no business being as entertaining as it was for me. If you like survival action movies in the mountains or a big fan of Marc Singer or Nicole Eggert, or like me and enjoy all three of those things, you might find it enjoyable also. And spoiler alert, Tyler survives so be on the lookout for my Diana and Tyler fan fiction. You might also find the Snowman’s Pass Bonus Bullet Points to be enjoyable… or at least passable… Snowman’s Pass-able.
- Also Known As – You might find Snowman’s Pass as What Lies Above.
- Better Name – Snowman’s Pass is a superior title in my book except for one little problem. There is no snow!
- Ghost Story – The in-movie explanation for the name Snowman’s Pass involves a gold miner named Snowman that ate donkeys and two other miners (maybe I was right with the cannibals) and haunts the mountain to stop people from finding his gold.
