Bullet Points: African Express (1990)
Up until a few weeks ago, I had never even heard of 1990’s African Express.
I had heard of The Pony Express, Federal Express and Panda Express. As an old school wrestling fan I was quite familiar with the Rock-n-Roll Express, the Orient Express, the U.S. Express, the Zambuie Express, and of course the Midnight Express.
But now it is time to add African Express, an early entry in the Nu Image catalog, to the Expresses that I am familiar with…
- Tall Tale: The movie begins with pilot Brad Stevens (Patrick Dollaghan, It’s Murphy’s Fault) flying in his plane, that he has affectionately named “Emily”, back to the African Express base of operations in the neutral African nation of Mira Mira. African Express is an air charter service that Brad runs with his two friends, George (Russell Savadier, Danger Zone) the mechanic of the operation, and Brad’s fellow pilot, Jo (Karen Mayo-Chandler, Hamburger: The Motion Picture). But what Brad doesn’t realize is that two Nazis are stowaways on his plane! Fortunately for Brad they are two bumbling Nazis, Fritz (Norman Antsy, The Revenger) and Helmut (Danny Keogh, Project Shadowchaser II) and they are the ones who come out the worse for wear after the mid-air action. When Brad returns to regale George and Jo of his latest adventure, they assume it’s another one of Brad’s tall tales, like the time he wrestled an alligator.
- Real Deal: The next day both George and Jo find out that Brad’s story about fighting off Nazis was true… George realizes it when he finds blood in Emily’s cargo area, and Jo finds out when Helmut rears his ugly head, stowing away on her plane this time and forcing Jo at gunpoint to take him to his superior, Baron von Kleinschmidt (Crispin de Nuys, River of Death). The Baron was attempting to transport some radar equipment back to Germany, when he had to make an emergency landing… his plane is in need of a fuel pump, and that’s what Helmut and Fritz were attempting to acquire before they encountered Brad Stevens! Jo is taken captive and a game of “what’s in the box?” and “borrowing planes” starts to play out.
- The Man with the Plans: After getting hoodwinked by a nightclub singer, who was in cahoots with the Nazis, Brad Stevens desperately needs to save the day. Brad’s first plan to rescue Jo and stop the Nazis from getting the potential tide turning radar technology back to Germany fails miserably… but fortunately for the forces of good, Brad has an outside the box Plan B that leads to one crazy finale that involves two planes and a rope ladder! You have got to see it to believe it!
1990’s African Express was unlike any other Nu Image movie I have ever seen. The action adventure romp’s lighter tone was evident the moment the jaunty score began playing during the opening credits. That lighter tone carried on all the way to the comedic callback at the end. Cast wise, Patrick Dollaghan shines as the “make it up as he goes” Brad Stevens, and Karen Mayo-Chandler’s may be the toughest of all the characters in the movie!
If you need a palette cleanser after watching a bunch of ultraviolent or heavy action movies… Or if you are like me and never tire of seeing Nazis get their comeuppance, African Express may be the way to go!
Another thing I never tire of is sharing Bonus Bullet Points…
- Familiar Faces: I was shocked to see Lance Von Erich of World Class Championship Wrestling fame in African Express. This was Lance’s one and only movie appearance as Heinrich, the proprietor of the Red Garter Saloon. Lance was credited as Lance Vaughn, which has to be the ultimate work/shoot name… The Red Garter Saloon was also where I spotted another familiar face. John Pasternak played Spike, an Aussie martial artist who was trying to pick up Jo at the bar. In an attempt to impress Jo, Spike karate chops a wooden barstool in half! I recognized Pasternak from one of the most famous bar scenes of them all. Pasternak played Vesuvius, the head Blind Beggar Bar bully in American Ninja 2: The Confrontation!
- Bastard Count: There was one “bastard” in African Express.
- The Name Game: Not to be confused with the 1975 Ursula Andress movie, Africa Express.
