Power, Grace, & Some Sexy Behinds: Ladies of The Chronicles of Riddick
It’s been a long time since Riddick has smelled beautiful. At least that is what he tells Dame Vaako (Thandie Newton) as he creepily sniffs her as she walks by. Who knew that Riddick was such a romantic. In fact, I would say that half of The Chronicles of Riddick is Vin Diesel going around either thinking about ‘getting some’ or some other character being all gothic and sexy.
Riddick’s power couple is Vaako and lovely and power mad bride Dame Vaako. Maybe she was so hungry for power because she doesn’t even get to have her own name! Thandie Newton may be a totally one-dimensional character on film, but the way she fits into those tight little dresses is the answer to why Riddick got those wonky eyes (nighttime lovemaking). The Vaako Duo take turns plotting and attempting to kill Riddick but the one who probably comes the closest to actually getting him killed is….
It’s the former Riddick wannabe Jack/Kyra, played by the lovely Alexa Davalos. This French seductress runs into her old pal Riddick after they both wind-up in a strange prison that makes no sense. Why would anyone pay for these prisoners? Who is paying these guys to keep convicts on these strange planets? What purpose does all this serve other than to give Riddick a cool place to escape from? None of these questions are important because the prison is really, really hot and Alexa Davalos wears this little tank top and is super sweaty. Just how Riddick likes them.
There are a lot of people smelling each other in this movie…
Despite the scene where Thandie Newton basically talks about killing people while making out with Karl Urban, which sounds like some Amanda Knox shit, the hottest piece of ace in this movie has to be Dame Judi Dench!
Not everyone can pull off white after Labor Day and Dench goes one further by going with the white hair and misting around everywhere. She’s supposed to be some kind of “elemental”, which I have no idea what that is, but no one else seems to care so neither did I. I was too busy wondering when she was going to sniff that shirt that Vin Diesel had been wearing for the entire shoot.
Oh yeah, this chick gets caught smelling Riddick too! What the hell is wrong with these people?
