Bullet Points: A Good Man
There are few action stars that can hold a candle to Steven Seagal. Especially if he breaks their arms! But over the last decade or so, Seagal hasn’t exactly been setting the action world on fire. But like a loyal dog that sits in his owner’s chair months after his death, I refuse to give up on my man Steven. If I’ve learned anything from Man of Steel, on Krypton, S stands for hope… I could be wrong on that one.
Synopsis: After an illustrious special ops career ends in disaster, Alexander (Seagal) goes off the grid and attempts to lead a quiet life as a handyman at an apartment complex in Romania. But when one of his tenants and her family fall under the thumb of a local gangster, Alexander is dragged into an all-out war between rival Chinese and Russian gangs; forcing him to not only defend the family, but bringing him face to face with an old foe, and giving him one more chance to reconcile his past. via IMDB.com
- Which Seagal do we get?: First things first, that picture of Seagal up above is totally badass! He’s carrying a machine gun, wearing a katana on his back, and dressed like a one of Bane’s mercenary henchmen. A Good Man is probably one of my favorite Seagal movies since Fire Down Below (1997). That is a pretty scary thought that he could go that long without making a really good movie but I haven’t seen all of his flicks in recent years. I mean, he does make like seven movies a years so who has that kind of time? There may be no other actor who was hit as hard by age than Steven was. Let me tell you though, A Good Man is actually a Pretty Good Movie. Is it Casey Ryback or Nico good? Naw… but it ain’t bad.
- Second things second: That may not be something that people actually say but I don’t quite agree with that synopsis that I copy and pasted from imdb. It says that he “attempts to lead a quiet life as a handyman…” but he is doing a terrible job of living quietly while he’s out there murdering mobsters with a sword. By the end of the movie we learn that Seagal’s character is doing anything but retiring and meeting the hot neighbor has only made his life even more crazy than it was before. Women, am I right?
- Big Vic: I have a brother and a father named Victor so Seagal’s co-star Victor Webster is already pretty cool in my book but he upped himself in my eyes even more by churning out a few killer fight scenes in A Good Man. I remember seeing Webster in The Scorpion King 4 and thinking that he needed to just go back to his Canadian TV shows but I really enjoyed his work here. In fact, in Seagal’s current state, he really does need someone to share the screen and fight scenes with. He’s still great at chopping dude’s arms off with a blade but don’t expect him to run up a flight of stairs or anything like that.
- Eat your heart out Frank Castle: Whether you liked the new Marvel/Netflix version of The Punisher, Steven Seagal basically plays an older and much more sword-oriented version of the black clad vigilante. He doesn’t wear a skull on his chest or drive a stupid van either. Instead he secretly carries around a sword that he uses to Benihana the shit out of some Romanian gangsters.
- EC-Dub, EC-Dub: Victor Webster gets more than a couple of fight scenes to show off his skills and his choice of moves will be a reminder to the glory days of the ECW. My favorite “What a maneuver!” moment was when he suplexed the dude onto a car. I know I popped for it.
- The Action: Seagal shows off his slicing and dicing at different points during the film but the opening sequence that shows him still as a special operator lasts way too long. It sets up his motivation for the rest of the movie so I guess it succeeds in that arena. Later we find Big Steve wearing massive leather jackets and hanging out in Romania, two things that I would totally expect the real Steven Seagal to enjoy doing. He meets his hot new neighbor and she just happens to be connected to this whole Russian Mob/Chinese Gun Smuggler/Strip Club/Victor Webster’s Dad owed money situation. Whatever….none of that really matters. Seagal kills a bunch of dudes with a sword and then team up with Webster to rescue the little sister of Webster and his half-sister (the hot neighbor). The entire story comes down to some unfinished business from the opening sequence and Seagal faces off against the devious George Takei looking dude Mr. Chen.
A Good Man and a good movie deserve some good bonus Bullet Points…
- I have a theory that a large chunk of the budget from every recent Seagal movie is spent removing the sound of his breathing from many of the scenes.
- This movie wastes little time in getting to the DTV special of having at least one scene in a strip club.
- I’m about to SPOIL the shit out of the ending for you so don’t read any further if you haven’t seen it yet; Maybe my favorite thing in the movie is at the end. Seagal pawns his yappy dog off on the little girl and then leaves with her hot sister. Then proceeds to have an extremely awkward sex scene with her that I could have done without.
- The way Victor Webster moves with the pistol is frustrating to watch.
- I will forgive him though, because when he finally gets pissed off enough to want some revenge, he puts on a LEATHER JACKET!!
