Bullet Points: Asphalt Angels

If there is one thing that I enjoy most about writing Bullet Points, besides my hefty salary, it would have to be bringing you movies that you probably have never seen and in some cases probably never knew existed. While sometimes it may be older movies that were before your time, once in awhile a new movie will come across my movie watching desk that I feel needs to brought to the masses. Asphalt Angels from 2014 is easily one of these movies. If you have seen it (I’d be surprised if you have) you know what I am talking about and if you haven’t seen it at only 75 minutes, which includes a fake trailer for the movie at the beginning, you have no excuse not to watch. Did I mention that it happens to be about an all-girl motorcycle gang? Well it is and like the ladies in the movie it kicks butt.

• Exploitation Throwback: Asphalt Angels is a movie from 2014 that wishes it was made during the heyday of exploitation films. It tells the story of the Asphalt Angels, a motorcycle gang led by Casey (Justine Renee) and with her two sidekicks Michelle (Hillary Cook) and Billy Jean (Emily McGahee.) The trio is as ruthless as they are attractive. The Angels perform robberies and use motorcycles as their getaway vehicles, although we never really see them ride the bikes only extreme close ups. Casey has a younger sister Virginia (Blanca Estella Gomez) who happens to be a champion mountain bike racer with a bright future, although we never see her ride the bike only extreme close ups. Virginia looks up to Casey, but Casey does not want Virginia involved in her illegal ways and is saving money to send Virginia to school.  Casey’s arch-enemy Cookie Cutter (Ali Williams) likes to give Casey a hard time and the pair are always fighting.

• Exploitation Blowback: Michelle cheats during a card came against the Demons, a male motorcycle gang, and is about to be dragged behind a bike when Casey steps in and kills T Man (Isaak Gracia.) Next, a big score goes south and Casey gets arrested for the robbery and sent to prison that is home to a sadistic lesbian prison guard named Margaret (Jenna Rains) and some equally crazy prisoners. You better believe that there is a prison shower scene with the nicest prison floral shower tile ever. Meanwhile, Dante (John C. Epperson), the leader of the Demons is back in town and looking for revenge for T Man’s murder. Dante believes the best way to get to Casey is by not only raping Virginia but having all of the Demons do the same. Casey has to deal with disappointing Virginia, life in prison and Dante.

• Exploitation Comeback: Casey has had enough of life in prison and uses Margaret’s inclinations against her and escapes. Now out of prison and reunited with her gang, with Virginia now part of the Asphalt Angels, they go on an epic killing spree against all the people that wronged them. Virginia gets revenge against the Demons for their dastardly deed. Michelle and Billy Jean fight back against the snitch that turned Casey into Dante. All the mayhem leads to a killer man on woman final battle between Dante and Casey, a personal favorite of Matt Spector and instant bonus points for any film.

Asphalt Angels is a new version of classic exploitation films of the 70’s. One of the downsides of that is that the budget wasn’t adjusted for inflation and it can’t compete with the big budget action films of today. Sadly, It also can’t compete with the low budget exploitation films of the 70’s. It is scraping the bottom of the barrel with almost the entire film happening in one or two locations and with a limited number in the cast. What it can compete with is an entertaining story jammed into a short runtime. There is no time to be bored. Most of the actors have limited experience and some of the performances show it, but most look like they are having fun and it comes across to the audience. Special recognition must go to Justine Renee and John C. Epperson for their dynamic roles as Casey and Dante respectively. The dialogue is as cheesy and ham-fisted as I would expect from an exploitation film and adds to the immersion into the biker gang world.  The rock music soundtrack is a perfect complement to the on screen action and hits all the right notes to further the storytelling.

Overall, I would recommend Asphalt Angels to anyone that enjoys old fashioned exploitation films and does not take films too seriously. For those that take Bullet Points seriously you know that Bonus Bullet Points come next!

• My annual quota for chick fights has already been filled up thanks to Asphalt Angels.

• There is maybe 30 seconds of asphalt in Asphalt Angels with most of the action, including motorcycle riding, taking place on dirt roads.

• Casey and the rest of the prisoners are forced to do hard labor which includes clearing a field with hoes. It looks like a majority of the ladies have never wielded that particular garden implement.

• I mentioned earlier (see the first paragraph) the fake trailer which includes commercials (voice over only) for fake television shows. Easily the weakest part of the movie that feels it was only added to pad the runtime.