Bullet Points: Eliminators

Last week when the trailer for Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron leaked online, the interweb was a buzz! And rightfully so, Marvel has done a great job with their movie franchises in recent years and the original Avengers was a mega-blockbuster. It is safe to say the sequel will also be a success.

But long before we were able to get the likes of Captain America, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk in the same movie, a movie brought together a Mandroid, a Mercenary, a Scientist and a Ninja. Each one was a specialist in their area of expertise, but together they are… Eliminators.

•  The Backstory: After a fighter pilot (simply known as John) is shot down and rescued by a less than ethical Dr. Reeves and transformed into a Mandroid. The evil Dr. Reeves uses the Mandroid to test his time travel experiments. When the tests proves successful, Reeves is now prepared to carry out his master plan… return to ancient Rome and change history forever by becoming the new Julius Caesar. But before he does all that he orders his assistant Takada to decommission the Mandroid. Takada disobeys Reeves, he assists the Mandroid in escaping Reeves’ compound and pays for this with his life… but before he dies he tells the Mandroid to find a military scientist named Nora and she could help him. And then there were two…
• Quest for Revenge: When Nora the Scientist (played by Denise Crosby) meets John the Mandroid, she is angered to learn that Dr. Reeves used her android technology for evil, so she too has a a bone to pick with Dr. Reeves.  The two (three if you count her “pet robot” Spot ) head to South America where they plan on renting a boat and traveling down the Amazon River to Reeves’ compound. It is here where at a Mos Eisley like bar, Nora meets and hires Harry Fontana (played by Andrew Prine). And much like Han Solo, Harry’s ship is not the prettiest in the fleet, but it gets the job done… although not without difficulty from time to time. And then there were three…

• Where’s the Ninja?: At one point during their river boat adventure, the Mandroid and Spot, who sits on Mandroid’s shoulder like a parrot, are separated from Nora and Harry when they fall overboard. Nora and Harry fearing they are dead and gone, go about their journey. As you may have guessed the Mandroid and Spot did not perish at the bottom of the Amazon River, in fact the Mandroid walks right out of it and when he does, he bumps into a Ninja in the jungle. Now before you ask, why was a Ninja just roaming around the jungles of South America. The answer is, this wasn’t just any ninja, he happens to be the son of Takada and like Nora and the Mandroid he has a beef with Dr. Reeves and is looking to avenge the death of his father. And now we have four…

One thing that can be said for Eliminators is it is a unique movie. It was another film that I had no idea even existed until I saw it one day on THIS TV and became fascinated with the variety of elements jammed in one movie. I don’t think a film like this could even be made in today’s world. This was the kind of cheesy good that could only come out of the 1980’s.

If you are a fan of 80’s cheese then give Eliminators a look. And while you are watching here are a few more things to look for…

• Bayou Betty: Harry Fontana’s chief rival in the river guide business is a character by the name of Bayou Betty. While Harry’s boat is old and run down, Betty has a sleek speed boat named the Quo Vadis. For those of you who don’t know, Quo Vadis was a 1951 epic film produced by MGM that did so well at the box office it is credited as being the movie that saved the company from bankruptcy. Obviously Eliminators can’t make such a claim, but I’d watch the 96 minutes of Eliminators over the nearly 3 hours of Quo Vadis any day of the week.
• Cavemen: As I discussed earlier, the movie contains a mandroid, a mercenary, a scientist and a ninja… but Eliminators also manages to throw in some cavemen just to add to the wide array of characters.
• Harry’s Computer Skills: Despite having no formal training in the world of computers, Harry Fontana manages to solve a major computer problem with what I will call the “Harry Fontana Fix”. Sometimes complex problems are solved by the simplest of solutions. Next time there’s an IT issue at work, I’m going to give the “Harry Fontana Fix” a try.