Bullet Points: Future Force

David Carradine did not become famous from his role in Future Force. You and most of the world most likely know him from his early 70’s work as Kwai Chang Caine in the show Kung Fu. Yeah, you young pups are probably still talking about how boring of a bad guy he was in Kill Bill but trust me when I say that he was famous for 30 years before he ever banged Uma Thurman. So what does all that have to do with Future Force? Well, it’s the type of film that might make you forget that Carradine was a big-named action guy before he ever donned his denim vest for this film. It’s bizarre to see an action star’s downward trajectory even as they still have like 25 years left in their career. The easiest way to say what I’m trying to say is that Future Force is one of 16 different projects that Carradine acted in during the year of 1989…

Synopsis: In the future, a cop (Carradine) protects a reporter from an organization of crooked, renegade cops who thinks she knows too much about them.

• The Near Future: This movie is set in the futuristic year of 1991. Now, the future is all based on your perspective. That is obviously the future if you’re talking to Daniel Boone but Future Force was made in 1989, so that means they were just making predictions that the world’s law enforcement would totally collapse in the next 24 months. Maybe no one noticed that little tidbit because David Carradine had already filmed three movies that week. I personally think they did it so they wouldn’t have to explain why everyone drove 1987 Chryslers in the future.

• C.O.P.S: The police that existed prior to 1990 must have sucked really badly because citizens agreed to the acceptance of a group called Civilian Operated Police Systems, or C.O.P.S for short. The name was definitely chosen for its acronym purposes because these guys act nothing like real cops. They rarely arrest anyone, mostly just killing them with their old-west six shooters or blow up their cars. They also spend a lot of time in strip clubs. That’s not a knock on them because I happen to love the old shoe show but these guys are getting away with it in the light of day and none of my cop buddies have ever admitted to that kind of fun.
• Women Love a Man in Uniform: One thing that I’ve consistently said my entire life is that police officers need to wear more denim. It’s easily the most badass fabric and there is no limit to the amount of customization that can be done to it. The fact that these “COPS” all wear denim vests with patches all over them makes them the coolest looking enforcers of the law in some time. I hope to someday live in a world where the police are run by a private corporation, wear denim vests, and shoot bad guys with six shooters before any semblance of a trial.

• The Power Glove: David Carradine’s character is maybe the most badass of all the COPS….you know what, they’re really just a bunch of bounty hunters. They sit around and wait for someone to commit a crime and then they race out to kill that person. Anyways, Carradine has one thing that none of the other guys have; a suped-up Nintendo Power Glove! It shoots lasers and can even work off of some sort of one-button remote control. It’s the most futuristic part of Future Force.
• The Gist of it: So some bad guy running the COPS group is doing bad things and a new reporter lady is privy to the situation. Or is she? She doesn’t really seem to know anything at all but the fact is that the mustachioed, white-suit wearing baddie is still out to kill her. I gave up on caring about the plot about 9 minutes into the movie but the villains were very terrible. Both at being bad and at acting.

• The Future of Police Cruisers: Everyone knows that the best vehicle to pursue justice in is the late 80’s model Jeep Cherokee Chief!
• The Action: Carradine didn’t have much to work with in Future Force. He pretty much runs around shooting everyone and occasionally using his power glove on them. The biggest bad guy he faces is like a 63 year old man so that should tell you something. There are plenty of shootouts; hell, the movie is directed by David A. Prior so you know he’s going to have plenty of those. The biggest issue I had with the movie, other than the poor villains, not great action scenes, underdeveloped story, and well…let’s just say that this movie is nothing special. It left me with far too many unanswered questions.

These Bonus Bullet Points should give you a chance to answer if possible:

• It only took the movie 19 minutes to make it into a titty bar. That isn’t a question, just something I felt needed communicated.
• Who cleans up all the crime scenes? I didn’t see any EMT’s or anything so I’m assuming there are thousands of dead bodies just lying around.
• These private COPS just blindly follow whatever streams across an old Keno board in their precinct. Also, how did they get away with having that Confederate flag on their wall at the office?
• It’s hard for me to take a man seriously if he has a shitty mustache.