Bullet Points: Don’t Kill It

Action legend Dolph Lundgren stars in something like 78 movies each year. He fights a number of deadly and diverse creatures; killer robots, sharks, Nazi’s, superheroes, and Jean Claude Van Damme. There is no limit to what Dolph can kill in a movie. That’s what makes the title of this film such a conundrum. Don’t Kill It immediately changes what your perception is of a Dolph Lundgren film. Normally, he would just shoot or stab his way out of any pickle, but Don’t Kill It creates a situation where even the sharpest of blades and the most powerful of guns won’t do the trick.

Synopsis: When an ancient demon is accidentally unleashed in a sparsely populated Mississippi town of Chickory Creek, their only hope of survival lies in the hands of a grizzled old demon hunter Jebediah Woodley (Lundgren) and his reluctant partner FBI agent Evelyn Pierce (Kristina Klebe). 

• Dead Dog: While I love reading the Twitter ramblings of WWE Hall of Famer The Iron Sheik, in real life, people get really pissed off when they see someone kill a dog. Even if it’s in a movie or in a book, some folks just can’t handle when man’s best friend gets wacked. If you’re one of those types of people then you may want to skip to the second chapter of the film or go old school and fast forward a few minutes.

• The Demon: The ancient soul-sucking creature that causes so much destruction in this film moves through people similar to the way that the demon from the 1998 film Fallen. Of course, this one doesn’t have Denzel Washington or John Lithgow, but it does feature a number of characters brutally murdering members of their own families. Somehow, those scenes don’t get as much attention as the one where the dog gets killed, but they are gruesome as hell and quite shocking when you’re not expecting it.
• Body Jump: The whole “Don’t Kill It” gimmick comes from the fact that any time the demon is killed he then transfers to the body of the person who killed him. It makes for some really fun scenes where the thing jumps into the body of a passerby or an old ass lady.

• Jebediah: Dolph Lundgren is at his best when he’s able to be the charming guy that he can be. A character who doesn’t have the charismatic bit to him is already at a disadvantage when he’s playing the role. The hero role for Don’t Kill It gives Dolph just enough opportunity to be unique, funny, and downright badass without completely forgetting to shed some light on other characters. Several scenes made me smile from the jokes and even more made me smile from the violence, but no one can say that this role isn’t perfect for the aging Swede.
• The Team Up: Jebediah walks into a situation where a bunch of people have already been killed by the demon and he is the only one who knows what the hell is going on. Soon enough, he finds himself teaming up with an F.B.I. agent named Evelyn Pierce. Evelyn grew up in the small town and was a bit of an outcast for reasons that come up later in the film, but she does a great job of not playing second fiddle to Dolph as they attempt to take down a thousands of years old demon.

• The Action: There is a lot of demon killing action in Don’t Kill It. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously, which makes for some really fun scenes that you’re not used to seeing in a movie about demons, but also some really brutal deaths. More heads get blown up in this film than at a TED Talk. I couldn’t get enough of it and if you’re already reading this site then you should be looking this film up on Amazon at this very moment.

Demons and demon hunting go a long way towards making a good action movie but nothing compares to a gluttony of Bullet Points:

• Dolph is always DTF. Especially when a sexy little thing approaches him at a hole in the wall bar and offers a little more than just the Wi-Fi password.
• Jebediah certainly has his quirks; those include vaping with a grenade looking device and eating lots of beef jerky.
• Even when Dolph kicks ass he still likes to teach valuable lessons.
• Get in the flask!
• If there isn’t a sequel titled “Demon Shark” then I’ll be pissed.