Bullet Points: Jason X
Today is Friday the 13th so there is more reason than ever to watch one of the many murderous adventures of Jason Voorhees. But which Jason should we discuss? The sack-wearing killer? The hockey masked mass murderer? How about the one that gets cryogenically frozen, then faces off against a spaceship full of supposedly tough Marines while in outer space. Yeah… that sounds like the perfect film for a Friday the 13th.
Synopsis: Set nearly 500 years in the future, Jason X finds a reanimated Jason Voorhees loose on a spaceship full of students and military personnel traveling through space.
- What it is: There had already been nine Friday the 13th movies and a television show by the time that Jason X was developed. Screenwriter Todd Farmer (who coincidentally played the character Dallas in the film) knew that the next Jason movie to be released would be his mashup with Freddy so they wanted this movie to take place outside of whatever that film was doing. The best way they could think of was to have this Jason take place well into the future. The rest of the idea spawned from the writers love of Alien and Aliens and wanting to see Jason in place of the xenomorph.
- Welcome to Crystal Lake Research: There must have been one hell of a tax break for anyone to want to build a facility in the middle of the murder capital of America. I’m assuming they knew of Jason’s existence so why would they attempt to put a research facility anywhere near his stomping grounds?
- Hello Lexa: The heroic character Rowan is played by veteran hottie Lexa Doig. You may recognize Lexa from Andromeda or from her recent work on Arrow as Talia al Ghul but my first exposure to her was right here in Jason X. Sadly, that’s they only exposure to speak of when it comes to Lexa as we’re not treated to any bare skinned goodness. Bummer.
- Not Scared: Even though Rowan witnesses Jason murder an entire squad of soldiers, she casually plots to have him frozen in cryostassis and almost succeeds in her plans until she gets a little overconfident and gets herself stabbed through by a half frozen Jason.
- I really hope women dress this way in the future: Chances are I won’t be alive in 455 years (fingers crossed) but I’m really hoping to make it to the year where the women start dressing like they do in Jason X without it being Halloween.
- Space Marines to the rescue: No space movie is complete without some version of the Space Marines from Aliens. These guys and gals are led by none other than Peter Mensah. Mensah has a squad of crack troops who last all of 6 minutes once Jason gets loose. While they look like they’re carrying Nerf guns and are wearing toy armor, at least the soldiers make an attempt at killing Jason and don’t completely die like fools. One guy even tries to throw hands with Jason but ends up getting thrown onto a massive and unnecessarily sharp drill in the middle of the cargo bay. Come to think of it, the cargo bay reminded me more of some homicidal maniac’s playhouse. Everything was crazy sharp and clearly designed to kill.
- Sex Robot to the rescue: Okay, she didn’t start out as a sex robot but any robot that is used for sex now becomes a sex robot because why would you use it for anything else once you realize you can sex it up? So Kay-Em 14 gets an “upload” from her creator and suddenly turns into a female John Rambo. She’s so badass that she actually kills Jason for a short time. It’s hard to keep a guy like Jason down, though, and he returns with enough metal in his body to sink the Titanic. It all leads into a climactic battle that ends with Jason and Mensah doing a tandem dive into the atmosphere. What a killer view!
Try not to get killed while reading these Bonus Bullet Points:
- I really want to know more about the violent Microsoft Conflict.
- “It’s ok guys, he just wanted his machete back.”
- Does anyone know how banging a robot can change the statistical probability of survival?
- The first Jason movie with some mostly CGI kills. I think I liked the cryo face smash the best.
The Verdict: Jason X is campy fun. It isn’t a good Friday the 13th movie and it isn’t the least bit scary, but what it lacks in actual horror it makes up for with its ludicrous story and characters. Nothing in the movie is remarkable but there are enough likable and memorable characters to keep the movie fun. Peter Mensah always rocks and Lexa Doig is crazy hot. She also turns out to be a great survivor. I give Jason X credit for it re-watchability but don’t expect it at the top of many people’s best of lists for horror movies I have a soft spot for Aliens rip offs so you can imagine the fun I had. Also, great hologram scene…
