Bullet Points: Turkey Shoot

If you are like me, you gobble up action movies in all different varieties. I give thanks every time I watch an action film with elements of sci-fi and horror. It doesn’t bother me if the story line is a mash-up of other genres or re-hashes a familiar story. I love action movies, and really love actioners that are non-stop goodness. One such movie that is a variable cornucopia of movie genres that never disappoints is the 1982 film Turkey Shoot. The Most Dangerous Game is one of the most common stories that filmmakers love to revisit but I don’t care because Turkey Shoot sets itself apart with a fresh take on the story and some good old fashioned violence that the whole family can gather around and enjoy. Luckily for you, I happen to have some Bullet Points for an action film that will leave you stuffed full of action excitement so sit back and savor Turkey Shoot.

• This Is The Future?: Turkey Shoot takes place in a dystopian future in which all deviants (the term for anyone who does something the government disagrees with) are sent to re-education camps. We are introduced to three deviants all being transported to the camp at the same time. Paul Anders (Steve Railsback of Nukie fame) is the Steve McQueen Hilts character (The Great Escape) that hasn’t found a re-education camp that can hold him. He even suffers in the camp’s own version of the cooler. Chris Walters (Olivia Hussey) is the shy, sensitive, caring shopkeeper who gets sent to the camp for meekly intervening during a deviant’s arrest. Rita Daniels (Lynda Stoner) is sent to the camp for being a prostitute. Unsurprisingly, these three end up being 60% of the turkeys in the eponymous turkey shoot and are joined by two long time campers, Dodge (John Ley) and Griff (Bill Young.)

• This Is the Future!: Did I mention that the in the future there are co-ed group showers? And even for deviants, promiscuity is legal? Promiscuity may be legal, but don’t think of selling it because Rita proves that prostitution is illegal. Feel free to get busy just be aware that pregnancy is punishable with an abortion and sterilization for females and castration for males, but who wants a baby when you are in a re-education camp? Hopefully you don’t have any plans for a same sex relationships because that is a capital crime.

• Future Prison Guards Are Still Dicks: The Camp is led by the man behind the turkey shoot idea, Charles Thatcher (Michael Craig.)  Thatcher has a cadre of sadistic guards including the imposing Chief Guard Ritter (Roger Ward) and his top lackey Red (Gus Mercurio.) The guards have no problem imposing their will on the camp with whips, fists, rape and murder.

• Future Guards May Be Dicks, But They Have No Balls: It is said that the guards have been castrated to make them a little extra angrier. While I don’t know if this is true or just a story that Anders tells the other campers to make them feel better, Red definitely walks with the unique gait of a man missing a pair. The guards are not totally devoid of having fun and still get a chance to play with balls. A standout game is where a deviant is forced to carry around big balls filled with gasoline as he is knocked around and kicked by the guards. It looked like everyone was having a good time. Of course with all the gasoline getting spilled it didn’t end well for the deviant when Ritter dropped his lighter.

• Let’s Shoot Some Turkeys: One of the unique aspects of the human hunting in Turkey Shoot is that each hunter only has one specific target. I already let you know about the targets, let’s meet the hunters and you better believe they are a wacky bunch. We know Thatcher, but you didn’t know that he is targeting Anders and Griff. Although Griff is really only there to be executed as a punishment for plotting an escape. Thatcher drives a really unique vehicle that I can only assume is Australian. Government Secretary Mallory (Noel Ferrier) is targeting Chris Walters as he gets a real rise out of her shy and sensitive demeanor.  Jennifer (Carmen Duncan) is a cross-bow wielding, horseback riding, certified crazy bitch. She has trick arrows that explode in order to help her kill Rita. Tito (Michael Petrovich) is on the trail of Dodge and he has the strangest tools in his turkey shoot toolbox. First he has another highly unique vehicle with a plow on the front. However, that ride pales in comparison to Tito’s half man half ape circus freak Alph (Steve Rackman) who bites off the toe of Dodge and eats it.

• Uh-Oh, These Turkeys Shoot Back: The deviants are promised freedom if they can survive 24 hours, but you better believe there is a surprise in store for them. That is, there is a surprise in store for those that survive. That’s right, not all of the deviants or hunters will survive and I don’t think it is much of a spoiler to find out the prostitute dies. The action really picks up after the turkey shoot commences. Some standout scenes include the above mentioned toe eating, hands getting chopped off, back breaking, unique vehicles running over people, circus freak bifurcation, a man getting a gunshot to the nuts (à la Legion of Iron), machete to the head, and an exploding head. Finally, the simple turkey shoot devolves into an all out gunfight with the camp guards and prisoners and culminates with the obligatory explosive ending.

Turkey Shoot is not special in the sense that it is something you have never seen before, but it is special because it takes that familiar story and makes the story its own. Fans of action films tinged with sci-fi and horror will get special pleasure from the film as will all you Ozploitation fans and their great use of gruesome practical effects. Every course of Turkey Shoot complements the next and you will undoubtedly be coming back for seconds.The best praise I can give is to say that Turkey Shoot is not a turkey! The best ending to this Bullet Points I can give is some Bonus Bullet Points!

• A Turkey By Any Other Name…: You might find Turkey Shoot under the alternate titles of Escape 2000 or Blood Camp Thatcher.

• Turkey Slap: 2014 saw a remake of Turkey Shoot, also known as Elimination Game, and while you can find worse ways to spend 90 minutes, it is really a remake in name only and can’t be compared to the original. Bonus points for Roger Ward and Carmen Duncan returning in different roles.

• Royal Composer: The music in Turkey Shoot provides the perfect backdrop to the futuristic creepy ambiance of the film. It was no surprise to find that Brian May was the composer. No, not the lead guitarist of Queen, but the legendary Australian composer of such films as Mad Max and Roadgames.

• Take That, Network Suits: The Honest quote award goes to: “Better than network TV.” True today as it was when the film was originally released. That is unless your local network television station is airing Turkey Shoot.

• Words To Leave By: In a true missed opportunity to have a song playing by the Glenn Danzig led band the film (and this Bullet Points) ends with a quote from H.G. Wells, “Revolution begins with the misfits.”