Bullet Points: Cold Sweat

Today is another Foreign Film Friday and as you know we love Charles Bronson here at Bulletproof Action. I wanted to help balance out the Bronson goodness since The Brain has an unhealthy obsession with him and I have yet to post on the man. I thought that I’d try a lesser known Bronson film so I picked up this French-Italian production of Cold Sweat. It’s hard to argue the awesomeness of Mr. Charles Bronson but I have to tell you that if you’re looking for a great Bronson flick stay away from Cold Sweat. If you’re looking for a decent Bronson flick, however, give it a try. Just don’t be expecting to see any of Bronson’s Greatest Kills!

The Gist: A quiet American living in Southern France by the name of Joe Martin (Charles Bronson) spends his days renting boats to tourists. He is married to a beautiful woman named Fabienne (Liv Ullmann) and they are raising a 12 year old girl together. Everything changes, though, when a man shows up to their home and Joes is finally forced to tell his wife the truth about his past. Only after she knows does she understand the real danger that awaits them as four other former accomplices of Joe’s show up and put him in a situation where there may be no other way out than to fight.

The Cast: You gotta love Charles Bronson and how he has always had a quiet and tough kind of cool. He never had too much to say, just kick a lot of ass and kill a ton of people. My problem with this movie is that he only has brief flashes of the Bronson that we know and love. He spends most of the movie behind the wheel of some sissy-looking European car, driving around the French countryside. He shoulda been pissed that these guys messed with his wife and step daughter and kicked a hole through their heads but instead he never really gets mad enough to go full Bronson. That is how I would describe this movie. He only goes “half-Bronson.”

We get a pretty seriously ripped Charlie in this one. 

The Villain: I was pretty disappointed in the bad guys in this too. Every hero needs a good villain to play off of and these guys were a bunch of wimps. The French Foreign Legion guy was supposed to be a maniac tough guy but he got his ass handed to him every time he was on screen. The Captain ended up not being such a bad dude and for the group to only be after money was a big letdown. They had a pretty good reason to be pissed at Bronson and want Chuck dead and they never seemed like they were that mad at him.

Bronson’s old lady played the hippie bad girl with as much charisma as the dead bird from Dumb and Dumber.

The Action: The action scenes were few and far between. There was plenty of room for a couple of fights or shootouts and it would have added a bit of excitement to an otherwise dull movie. The French guy got taken down twice by Chuck without much of a fight and the only guy who didn’t go out like a punk was Vermont. And even he got his neck snapped like Macho Man snaps a Slim Jim. (Oh YEAH!) Chuck did deliver a sweet kick to the leg of a table to drop Vermont. I needed less driving around the hills and more breakin’ necks. Sorry Charlie.

Fans of endless driving will crap their pants with excitement while watching this.

Take it Home:

• Chuck’s still got it: Jill Ireland who played the blonde hippie was Bronson’s wife in real life.
• GI Chuck: Chuck really was a Korean War Vet like in the movie. Nowadays, so-called action stars can barely do their own stunts let alone fight in a war.
• Young-Bronson dynasty: First of three movies that director Terence Young made with Bronson. The following two were Red Sun and The Valachi Papers.
• Europe stuff: Even though this was a French-Italian co-production, none of the main stars were either French or Italian.

Rating: 2.75/5