Bullet Points: Bong of the Living Dead
The zombie apocalypse could be seen as either the scariest thing to happen to a person or the most exciting. I guess it really depends on where you fall in society. Those with much to lose would most likely find themselves boarding up their windows, nailing their doors shut, and sharpening their axes for defense. Others among us might nod to one another with a sense of vindication for all of our efforts at getting that “bugout bag” and ammo collection up to snuff. Think, now, of a group of stoners smoking their way through life while working in a video-rental shop. How might you think they react to such a situation?
Synopsis: A group of friends and zombie movie buffs have their life long dream come true. As their provisions run low, reality begins to set in and they realize that the zombie apocalypse isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
- Made in Ohio: Filmed about 15 minutes from my house in Clintonville, Bong of the Living Dead is pretty cool to watch for me just because I recognized many of the areas the characters run to in between zombie attacks. Also, if you’re looking for a really hipsterish area with great restaurants and no actual zombies then you would probably do well to visit.
- Toke it up: There are very few scenes in Bong of the Living Dead where the main characters aren’t smoking the chronic. That probably won’t surprise you given the title of the film but it definitely comes into play later in the film as situation looks more and more dire and stoner supplies begin to run short (stoner supplies being drugs and cereal).
- Introductions: The movie does a few things right away that I liked: it introduces us to the characters we’ll be following with a mixture of flashbacks and interactions from the present to show that they haven’t changed much since their early days. It takes place in a small area in Columbus, OH that made it different than other movies who seem to always put their zombie attacks in the South or some big city. Also, it didn’t waste much time getting to a few boob shots. I felt like every horror movie as a kid had at least one scene of a topless victim and that was always where my 12 year old self would instantly fast forward to.
- Swords and Bitches 3: What has to be one of my favorite things about the movie is that it incorporates little made-up cereals and movies throughout. Most of the characters work at the local video store so it makes sense that they would watch some obscure, shitty movie that is a total knockoff of the swords & sandals movies of the 80’s. It’s a bit of subtle world building that Quentin Tarantino has been doing with his movies since he first started.
- Hal: Daniel Alan Kiely plays Hal, one of the video store guys and survivor of what can only be described as the zombie apocalypse. At times, he was my favorite character because you could tell that he had waited his entire life to be thrown into a situation like this and had even planned for some of it. Other times, Hal comes up with some of the worst ideas and flat out wastes time by being an idiot. Remining myself that these guys are stoned for most of the movie makes his actions less bad and more hilarious. Kiely was probably my favorite actor in the film as he had some of the best lines including a Last of the Mohicans reference at the end that I loved.
- That Forever stuff: Most of the characters trace their relationships back to childhood so the film gives us little flashbacks of them as kids from time to time. It works out really well for the movie since the characters are mostly one-dimensional (they like to get high) and we’re able to see some growth through these scenes. It works best when the film suddenly decides to drop the dark comedy and present itself with a very dramatic flair. Killing neighborhood zombies is all fun and games until it starts hitting close to home and their friends join the ranks of the undead. All of the actors have to shift from being funny and enjoying themselves to realizing that the shit has truly hit the fan.
It’s been a while since I’ve done Bonus Bullet Points so let’s see if I remember how:
- Bong of the Living Dead has a 7.2 on IMDB.
- Someone make a Swords and Bitches Netflix series, please.
- Clintonville is an interesting area in Columbus. Good places to eat, some decent bars, and tons of dirty hipsters in their expensive thrift store clothes.
- I almost want a character who only speaks using lines from other famous movies.
The Verdict: I’m blown away by how much better this movie was than I expected. If anything, you could say it is very inconsistent; switching from dark comedy to emotionally powerful in just a few seconds, but the fact that it did some things differently than all of the other funny zombie movies is a good thing. The actors were funny when they needed to be and then delivered the chops when called on. The film takes it a little slow at the beginning, could have used some more gore, and I never really cared for a few of the characters but it was still way better than it had any right to be. Check it out if you’re a fan of the genre or just enjoy indie filmmaking in general.
