5 Questions: Lethal Ninja
Before I get into my 5 Questions about Lethal Ninja, let me answer a few questions that you may have…
The laypeople and more mainstream action fans out there, who are not hardcore action movie fanatics may be asking themselves “What the hell is Lethal Ninja?”
The hardcore action movie fanatics are probably asking themselves are my 5 Questions pertaining to the 2006 Lethal Ninja from Hong Kong, 1991 film Lethal Ninja starring David Heavener or the 1992 version starring Ross Kettle?
To answer both of these questions, I will be covering 1992’s Lethal Ninja, where Ross Kettle plays a martial artist named Joe Ford. Ford has to rescue his microbiologist wife Dominique, who was on a scientific expedition in Africa researching a strange acid that is poisoning the water supply, but now finds herself being held hostage by the evil doers responsible for polluting the water. The plot of the film is loosely based on one of the many predictions that Nostradamus made during his lifetime. And that little tidbit leads me into my first question…
#1- Did Nostradamus predict the impact that the American Ninja franchise would have on the country of South Africa?
Beginning with 1987’s American Ninja 2: The Confrontation, Cannon’s American Ninja movies were shot in South Africa. But apparently that was not enough American Ninja action for South Africa…. because make no mistake about it, Lethal Ninja was not just inspired by the writings of Nostradamus it was inspired by the American Ninja franchise.
I mentioned earlier that Ross Kettle played Joe Ford, but I did not mention that Kettle is a South African native or the fact that his character Joe Ford, ” a ninja from America”, teams up with his African American friend, Pete Brannigan, to rescue Ford’s wife and topple the dastardly duo of an evil wealthy businessman and a mad scientist… sound familiar?
#2- Why didn’t Ndumo just have Joe and Pete meet him at the amusement park?
When Joe and Pete arrive in South Africa, their first order of business is to meet their contact Mr. Ndumo (Ken Gampu, Joe Bullet). Ndumo phones them at their hotel and tells our American heroes to meet him at a night club that evening. The guys go there end up in the obligatory bar fight (side note: The fight was super lame and did not even come close to the legendary Blind Beggar Bar Fight of ’87). After the fight they are asked to leave and that is when they bump into Ndumo outside… but Ndumo tells them to meet them at his garage in the morning instead.
So the next morning rolls around and Joe and Pete meet Ndumo at his garage. Ndumo says he has a file for them with all the information that has been gathered about the company suspected of poisoning the water supply but it isn’t at the garage he has it safely hidden at the nearby amusement park… THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN’T NDUMO JUST TELL THEM TO MEET HIM AT THE FREAKING AMUSEMENT PARK!?!?!
Ndumo wasted so much time and did so much dicking around that I didn’t even feel bad when he dies via car bomb after giving Joe the file.
#3- Whose voice is it anyway?
Another reason I wasn’t too torn up about the demise of Ndumo, was the fact that Ken Gampu’s voice was obviously dubbed over. And he wasn’t the only familiar face with an unfamiliar voice… Len Sparrowhawk (American Ninja 2: The Confrontation) who plays the professor working with Dominique in the opening scene of the film was also another obvious dub job.
And call me crazy, but there were times it sounded like Pete Brannigan’s voice was dubbed by Steve James himself.
#4- Why were there ninjas on rollerskates?
Once they have the file, Joe and Pete decided it is time to infiltrate the evil headquarters and that is when Ninja Joe finds himself surrounded by a group of rollerskating ninjas… WTF?
#5- “Why do the bad guys always climb up?”
This was actually a question that Joe Ford asks in the final minutes of the film when the aforementioned evil wealthy businessman Omar Osman (Frank Notaro, The Revenger) climbs to the top of the building on the site of his mining operation in an attempt to escape… this was a good question by Joe… but I have an even better question. Osman got to his mining operation via helicopter, so why didn’t he take the helicopter to a less obvious location, guaranteeing that he would get away!??!
