Bullet Points: Blood Games
Baseball may be known as America’s pastime, but there is no doubt it is not the cultural zeitgeist it once was. That is not to say baseball is not immensely popular, just that the slower pace and long season has turned away younger audiences. While I think they don’t know what they are missing, I understand baseball is not for everyone. Luckily for those of you that are not a fan of baseball and for those that love the game, I happen to have some Bullet Points for the 1990 movie Blood Games that takes a new spin on both baseball and female revenge flicks. Join me to a movie where America’s favorite pastime just turned deadly… batter up, Blood Games.
- Field of Nightmares – Blood Games opens to a baseball game that makes zero sense and raises many questions and only provides minimal answers. First, I don’t understand what kind of cow pasture the game was being played on, with knee high weeds. Couldn’t they find a field to film on or at least cut the grass? Regardless of the field, what was the purpose of the game? It turns out that an all female barnstorming team is in town to take on some local rednecks. Babe and the Ballgirls wear skimpy outfits which explains maybe why they were brought in, but it does not explain the who’s who of rowdy drunk rednecks in the crowd. Why does the crowd get so excited everytime the men fondle the female team on the bases and cheat? Mino Collins, the big cheese in town, set up the game for his son Roy’s birthday. Mino paid $500 to bring Babe and her teammates and also bet another $1000 on the game. Money that he lost when the women crushed the men.
- Minor League – Mino is not happy with his son and decides to send Vern over to pay Midnight, the coach and father of several of the players. Mino doesn’t give Vern the full amount, but it does give Vern a chance to peep on the ladies in the locker room. Did I mention that Vern was played by the one and only George ‘Buck’ Flower? Vern is easily a highlight of Blood Games. Midnight decides to go collect from Mino which leads to a standout bathroom fight. Roy and his good friend Holt are drinking away their sorrows and decide, in Roy’s words, “to get some pussy.” That is bad timing for Missy and Connie who went looking for Midnight. Roy and Holt attempt to rape the ballplayers which leads to Midnight getting shot and Roy getting smashed into a dumpster by the team bus. Mino is now not only upset that his son lost to girls, but the fact they killed his son means he wants justice.
- A League of None – Blood Games now enters the Most Dangerous Game portion of the film. You better be prepared for beer drinking rednecks to be chasing female baseball players who are forced to fight back. If bus chases, vehicular mayhem, people hanging off of buses, people standing atop of moving buses, and people alighting from the top of a moving bus, then you are very lucky. The ladies in the bus get lost in the woods and now the hilljacks have the upper hand being in their natural habitat. Half of the team wants to take the fight to hunters while the other half wants to make a run for it. The half that want to fight go full Rambo, traps and murder included. Not that it is hard work because the pursuers are a very incompetent bunch… that is except for the crossbow wielding Mino.
Blood Games ends, just like the title implies, with blood. The baseball team versus hillbillies is indeed a bloody game and not everyone makes it out alive. There are a variety of deaths in Blood Games, although almost all of them are in slow motion which at first is impactful, but starts to wear thin after several deaths. I loved the baseball themed death for one of the bad guys, however, the ladies won’t be able to play a full squad baseball game anymore, but spoiler alert they do have enough for basketball. (Feel free to use that idea because it is never late for a sequel by the by.) Blood Games is a unique movie that manages to combine an all female baseball team with a revenge flick. While I think you should give Blood Games a chance and I never pass it up when I come across it, I don’t know if you will be as excited as the redneck crowd watching the baseball game in the movie. One thing that everyone can get excited over is the Blood Games Bonus Bullet Points.
- Purists – Babe and the Ballgirls consists of only nine players which means there is no designated hitter
- Not To Be Confused With – Unsurprisingly, Blood Games is also the title for several horror movies, but I cannot speak to their delectation.
- Best Baseball Advice – “Don’t let them knockers hypnotize you, boy.”
- If You Ever… – Wanted to see grown men get way too excited over stumbling across women’s personal items, like hair straighteners and bras then Blood Games is for you. Pure joy in their eyes.
- Ones We’ve Lost – The in memoriam to the fallen at the end of Blood Games was a nice touch.
