Bullet Points: Meatball Machine (2005)
I have no idea what I’m getting into with some movies. That is even more evident when I watch a movie like Meatball Machine. Even the title brings with it so many questions. Is this a children’s movie about a go-cart race? Is this a movie about a food truck? But, the important thing is that reviews of this movie are all over the place and I can’t wait to see what’s in store.
Synopsis: Parasitic creatures from somewhere are taking over human bodies and fighting it out for supremacy. Yoji (Issey Takahasi) is a quiet guy who finds himself falling for a girl who just so happens to have been overtaken by one of these creatures. Now it’s time for the loner to step up and try to save the woman of his dreams.
- It’s graphic dawg: If you’re even thinking of taking the plunge and watching this film then you should know that it does its best to spray as much blood as possible. I’ve seen bloodier films, no doubt, but Meatball Machine doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to the splatter.
- What the hell is goin’ on?: Okay. There isn’t a whole lot to go on here. Some otherworldly creatures are taking over human bodies and duking it out in the streets. Why are they doing this? I have no idea. That’s just what is happening at this point. The hosts become infected by these creatures and murder each other with edged weapons to the extent that the streets are running red with blood. That’s pretty much it as far as origins go.
- Yoji: He’s just a quiet guy. Yoji works in some sort of mechanical factory and is super lonely. Lonely to the point that just looking at the girl who works next door to him has got him jerking off. Other than that, Yoji is a pretty normal guy who is about to go down a road that he never expected.
- Tools: The creatures that live inside of these hosts control them and force them to kill each other. Dicks! Yoji learns about the creatures from a dude who has been going around and killing these things. The knowledge of what is going on isn’t worth it because Yoji gets “infected” with one of these things but stops it before it takes him over completely.
- Time to fight: Yoji is hell-bent on saving his lady friend who has turned into a weird ass killing machine. Yoji is really trying to get her to remember who she is while also trying to not be killed. They throw out all the stops in the fight. Weapons are growing out of limbs and exploding all over the place. The poster looks way cooler than the characters do in this end battle but they don’t skip out on the violence.
The Verdict: What exactly does “Meatball Machine” mean? I have no idea. It’s the title of this strange little movie that has a plot about 11 pages long but buckets of blood. B-movie fans will probably enjoy it for its ‘take no prisoners’ way about itself and it’s unique as hell. I wasn’t as blown away as some but I could see how someone could enjoy the flick. The characters are likable enough even without much to go on but, to be honest, the only real reason to watch this movie is for the graphic violence. Shit gets real bloody at times and little parts of their bodies are sawed off in various ways. It’s definitely a weird movie with decent parts but I probably won’t be watching it again.
