Bullet Points: Assault on VA-33 (2021)

Some things are just iconic and never get old. The look of a 60’s American muscle car. The feel of a well-worn leather jacket and the direct to video market’s reliance on Die Hard rip-offs. I miss them as much as you do and I’m thrilled to see that the mass streaming market has paved the way for more of these iconic films to be made than in the past 20 years.

Synopsis: A former soldier (Flanery) is flung into a hostage situation involving his family, a four-star general, and the entire VA-33 facility when international terrorists take it over and demand millions of dollars. He must put his old skills to the test while still dealing with the same wounds that have plagued him since his time in combat.

• Earlier that day: The film opens in a way that is surprising. It does the old “earlier that day” gimmick. It shows us Jason Hill (Flanery) in a bit of a pickle with what we can assume are the bad guys. His daughter is being held as a hostage and as a viewer, I can only hope that there is more to this finale than meets the eye.
• Meet the players: After that brief scene we move onto meeting our major players for the film. Flanery is Jason Hill. A veteran soldier with some injuries both physical and emotional. His wife is a big time head doctor at the VA and he is there all the time. Michael Jai White plays local small town police chief Malone. He has a purple heart in the background so I can assume he’s seen his fair share of shit too. Next we meet Nic Cage doppleganger and son Weston Cage Coppola as our international terrorist Adrian Rabikov. He isn’t afraid to torture and kill to get information and I’m certain that will be useful later in the film.

• Wounded: I enjoy Sean Patrick Flanery in this role because he doesn’t play it like a 30 year old with no nicks and bruises. Every time he moves it looks like it hurts. When he lands on the ground you can almost feel his pain when he winces. Knowing that he has some legit martial arts skills I would have expected him to showcase them more in the film but one could also say that it isn’t something that fits in with his character. No matter, he’s a character who falls into the dreaded “wrong place, wrong time” rule that John McClane always seemed to find. Jason Hill, however, is not McClane, and he certainly isn’t working against the best of the worst.
• When a plan isn’t a plan: Adrian Rabikov and his crew take over the VA hospital in record time with almost no issues. It’s remarkable how quick and easy it is for them to take over. To me, it’s one of the biggest flaws in the film. I think putting the film in such a massive building doesn’t nothing positive for the script and it could have ramped up the tension by having it in a much smaller building. Adrian’s crew is full of henchmen who have nothing to do but utter a few lines and die later but one can’t help but notice WWE Hall of Famer (soon enough) Rob Van Dam and BPA legend Mark Dacascos.

• Run and gun: Now that the hospital is under the control of the bad guys the movie turns into a deadly game of hide and seek. They could have added 20 seconds in there to show up that Hill knows the hospital really well since his wife works there and he spends a lot of time there. That would have given him an advantage over the criminals but instead we just had him running up and down a couple of floors and taking out a bad guy every once and a while. Dacascos is up on the roof with a sniper rifle and I was just counting down the minutes until he would drop his rifle and head in for a fight.
• Missing something: Give the people what they want. Sure, MJW is wasted as the Chief of police who is mostly at fault for the entire ordeal (not following up on a series of tips) but I would have let it slide of he had gotten a throwdown with RVD. Sadly, it never happens, and RVD is relegated to comic relief over the radio. We do finally get that Flanery/Dacascos scuffle but even I couldn’t get fully invested in two characters that just seemed to be there. Assault on VA-33 is missing something, for sure, and that is a true connection to any of the characters.

• The thinnest of blue lines: There is a running joke that nothing ever happens in this small town and it is probably a good thing because the police force is made out to be an absolute joke.
• It makes you wonder: I always have questions as to how an international terrorist would meet his new henchmen. They don’t seem to know each other’s work that well and none of them care about Rabikov’s goal except for him. In fact, they actively work to get paid the ransom with little thought to whether or not Adrian would accomplish his real mission. The poor villains and shoddiness of their work spills over into the action and it’s no surprise that Flanery’s Hill is able to get the drop on them with little problem.

The Verdict: I have a new found appreciation for Sean Patrick Flanery based on his second wind career as an action star. I watched and loved Born a Champion and while Assault on VA-33 isn’t as good as that one, it still has its moments. It is 100% a product of that simple, formulaic action film that was popularized after Die Hard and I think the formula still works in a way. The big problems for Assault on VA-33 are the same problems that many films like this have and a massive reason for the success of Die Hard; amazing villains. Much of this film’s scenes only exist because of the incompetency of the bad guys taking over the facility and even when Flanery is forced into action he’s not really that good. No matter, I always find SPF charming and I did enjoy the interactions he had with his family and some of his relationship with Michael Jai White’s Chief Malone. The movie felt like it was only a scene or two from being really fun but it’s still better than a lot of the filth you could be watching right now. Fans of old school John McClane ripoffs should enjoy it but it is not without its flaws.