Bullet Points: Ninja Kids

Opening credits with ninja action is a good way to get me interested in your movie. Throw in some shuriken and I am in it for the duration. When the powers that be at BulletproofAction.com advised me to watch Ninja Kids I thought it was because I enjoy family friendly action movies and ninjas so the ninja action in the credits was no surprise. That is until a man gets decapitated in the credits and I realized that Ninja Kids is not for kids, but I am still glad I watched because the credits also mentioned Ninja Kids stars Alexander Rei Lo. And did I mention the shuriken? Will Ninja Kids be worth your time after you put the kids to bed? I have some Ninja Kids Bullet Points to help you find out.

• Ninja Not For Kids – If the decapitation in the credits was not enough, the movie starts with an introduction to our hero Shao Ku (Alexander Rei Lo) barking for a brothel. Shao Ku also acts as the bouncer and we soon learn he is very good at his job… both jobs. Brothel fight being the first fight was not what I was expecting when I started watching Ninja Kids.

• Turning Japanese – The local brothel soon gets some competition when a Japanese bath house moves in next door and the Japanese Geisha’s begin luring the Chinese customers. Because this is a movie, the Japanese bath house is really a front for the leader of the most ruthless ninja clan who is looking for three students that got away. We soon learn those are the ninja kids that give the movie the title Ninja Kids, but they are all grown up. One of them pretends to be a beggar and Shao Ku calls him teacher and is always pestering him to teach him more martial arts.
• Demon Wind – The ninja clan actually seems pretty awesome, if it wasn’t for the murder. The leader has a sweet all gold get up and his top assassin wears a demon mask and dresses all in red and goes by the name of the demon ninja. I suppose the gold and red outfits and ostentatious mask makes them even stealthier as ninjas.  Something is not quite right with the demon ninja though as he is under complete control of the ninja clan master who just has to play a little ditty on his flute and demon ninja goes all nuts in a murdery way.

• Blind Beggar Fight – With the clan after teacher, he explains the truth to Shao Ku and we learn the backstory of the three ninja kids. Shao Ku learns who his parents are, one of the ninja kids and a Japanese princess who the ninjas were supposed to assassinate, but you know, love at all that. Spoiler alert, Shao Ku’s father has become the demon ninja after his escape attempt failed, teacher and his the third ninja did escape, but not before he was blinded by the clan. It is up to a blind man and a beggar to teach Shao Ku to fight in order to stop the unstoppable ninja clan master. They are not completely alone though as there is a brother and sister team who are undercover with the ninja clan helping out our heroes and even the once thought dead princess and mother of Shao Ku shows up.
• Peach Flower Ninja – We learn more and more about the backstory and how special Shao Ku really is and that he is the true target of the ninja clan. This means we get to see lots of fights, as one would expect in a ninja movie and with taekwondo champion Alexander Rei Lo. I really loved Shao Ku’s narration during his training so we know exactly what he is doing and learning. I loved Shao Ku sitting under a waterfall while trying to learn the illusion style. I love the training fight with the handicap array (the blind man’s term, not mine) consisting of the blind man, the hunchback, the dead man and the cripple. With all the training fights being outstanding, the only thing I will tell you about the actual fights with the ninja clan is they are ten times better and longer.

I am so glad the Ninja Kids was suggested to me because although it is not a family friendly ninja movie, it is an enjoyable ninja movie. Alexander Rei Lo shines but everyone else is not too far behind. There are a variety of fights with all the different characters and some with and without weapons and plenty of light hearted moments and laughs, both intentional and unintentional. And in a completely intentional move, I will end these Ninja Kids Bullet Points with some Ninja Kids Bonus Bullet Points.

• If You Ever… –  Wanted to see a baby get a tattoo then Ninja Kids is for you.
• Take That, Geisha – “Look at her face. Looks like wall plaster.”
• Best Fight – In a psychoanalyst’s dream, one of the better fights is actually Shao Ku versus his mother. Slow your Oedipal role as he didn’t know she was his mother at the time… but she did.
• Also Known As – Ninja Kids is actually a combination of the Ninja Death trilogy into one 90 minute super cut. If you have the time, you can’t go wrong with all three Ninja Death movies, but if you want non-stop action I have to recommend Ninja Kids.