Bullet Points: How to Deter a Robber
A lot of people enjoy watching movies that correlate with an upcoming holiday. For example, you might watch Jaws on the 4th of July, John Carpenter’s Halloween on Halloween, Planes, Trains & Automobiles on Thanksgiving or Die Hard on Christmas.
I am not too traditional when it comes to holiday movies, but that does not mean I am not looking for holiday movies to watch. Christmas has come in July with Shout! Studios release of How to Deter a Robber. A film which premiered last year at Fantastic Fest, but is now receiving a VOD, digital and select cinemas release on July 16, 2021. Let us see if How to Deter a Robber is worth a rotation in your annual Christmas movie marathon…
- The Plot: Think Home Alone meets Die Hard meets Dial Code Santa Claus, but without Macaulay Culkin, John McClain or a killer Santa. How To Deter A Robber is the story of Madison (Vanessa Marano), her not-so-bright boyfriend, Jimmy (Benjamin Papac) and Madison’s Uncle Andy’s (Chris Mulkey) effort to survive Christmas night when a pair of burglars break into their cabin in the snow. How to Deter a Robber also stars Abbie Cobb, Sonny Valicenti and Gabrielle Carteris. It is written and directed by Maria Bissell.
- Humor in a Small Town: It help when you have likable leads. It gives you a reason to keep watching. Madison and Jimmy are both likable as hell. Jimmy might be dumb as a rock, but his character is still worth cheering for. Uncle Andy is another very likable character. Chris Mulkey is an underrated character actor, and his range is on fully display in this one. I was never bored for one minute while watching. I also laughed a lot.
- Not Smooth Criminals: Michael Jackson would be disappointed, the criminals in How To Deter A Robber are nothing close to smooth. They would easily make the lists of World’s Dumbest Crooks. This is where the dark humor comes into play. As you are watching, you are never really scared for the heroes, because you know there is no way the good guys will not win. Or will they? This is the beauty of a well-written dark comedy. You should be ready to except the unexpected. My hat goes off to Abbie Cobb and Sonny Valicenti for making Florida Man look like he is a member of Mensa.
- Closing Thoughts: Deter means to prevent or discourage. There is nothing I have said to deter you from watching How to Deter a Robber. It is charming with great acting performances. Vanessa Marano’s Madison might be one of my new favorite characters in all of film. I had a lot of fun watching. You could easily put How to Deter a Robber in your Christmas movie rotation. It is not 100% action packed, but the story is too entertaining to pass up.
- Grade: B+
Bonus Bullet Points
- Favorite Quote: “Suck my dick, Emily Dickinson!” Said by Madison after writing her college entrance essay.
- My IMDb Prediction: Something I want to try to do is guess where the IMDb score will eventually be. IMDb is not rocket science, but it does give you an idea how the masses feel about a film. Looking at How to Deter a Robber I see the score possibly being inflated at first due to people who watched it a Fantastic Fest finally being able to vote. The budget restrictions could lower the score. People who hate Christmas might vote low too. I think fans of Home Alone will embrace as well as fans of spot-on independent cinema. With all these factors, I think the score will settle around a 6.1 / 10. Does that sound about right? Let me know!
