20 Reasons Why You Rock: Con Air
You don’t always have to seek out great movies….sometimes, they find you. That was how I originally saw Con Air way back in 1997. Cage had only had one killer action movie to his name and who could say whether or not that was a fluke. As good as The Rock was, you have to admit that the charisma of Sean Connery can take almost any movie from a 2 to a 7. Con Air, however, is a film that sits solely on the shoulders of Cage. It sinks or swims with the man and if you ask me, this mamma-jamma swims harder than David Hasselhoff. That’s why I decided to give it another watch and drop 20 Reasons Why You Rock: Con Air edition.
1. Nic Cage is an Army Ranger and haver of a sexy wife. You have to love the Trisha Yearwood version of the song, too. I believe it was originally done by Leann Rimes but this version is so much better.
2. You have to appreciate the fact that Nicolas Cage will attempt any and all accents.
3. His lawyer screwed him. The judge screwed him. What a way to treat an American hero. Poe goes away for 7-10 from killing a dude who pulled a knife on him.
4. An excellent montage of letter writing and getting to know you moments. Simon West had a few hits but this is the tops, for sure.
5. Another excellent sequence where they introduce a few of the big criminals. Cyrus the Virus, Diamond Dog, and the other psychos. The casting is spot on and the stakes are set for a massive confrontation between them and the very moral Cameron Poe.
6. Chapelle really gets to shine. In his limited time, Dave really gets to be funny, likable, and totally expendable.
7. We reiterate that Cage was a Ranger and never leaves a man behind.
8. Colm Meaney and Cusack going at each other. The difference in their styles is perfect for a movie like this and it makes for good fun when Cusack jacks his car and drives it into the airfield slaughter.
9. Hannibal Lector knockoff.
10. “My first thought would be…a lot.” Steve Buscemi is a great casting decision. He already looks crazy as hell.
11. Even when Poe is trying to stall and keep them from killing innocents, he has good ideas.
12. “What do you think I’m gonna do? I’m gonna save the fuckin’ day.” The two heroes finally meet face to face with guns drawn. The conversation turns to his family and he lowers his weapon and becomes mush. A great scene.
13. The gag with the car is great. Colm and Cusack could have totally had a buddy-cop series together after this one.
14. The ambush makes the feds look really stupid. They drive right into an obvious trap but it continues to show that Cyrus is really smart and that Poe will do anything to stop the loss of human life and to save his buddy.
15. Poe takes back the plane just in time to crash into Las Vegas.
16. Even as the film comes to a close they continue to build the characters in the plane. Buscemi’s psycho is possibly not a crazy as he once was but is still singing the song from the girl. Most of the convicts die as they lived; extremely awful. Trejo the uber rapist, and many of the other nameless ones get captured.
17. Diamond Dog, Cyrus, and pilot Swamp Thing escape from the crash and are destined to die.
18. Just when you think the film is ending there is an incredible chase scene through the streets of Vegas including a Fire Truck and a couple of motorcycles. How does the truck have water on it to fire at the men? Who cares? It’s just plain fun!
19. Cyrus gets the Steven Seagal death at the end. That means he died enough for three men.
20. The amount of damages to the city of Las Vegas is crazy high at the end of the film BUT we did get to hear the Trisha Yearwood version of the song again so we’re probably even.
Seriously, though, it’s such a sad ending to a film. Cameron Poe goes away for 8 years and only now gets to see the family that he so desperately loves. His daughter grew up without him. His wife has waited patiently for him. And he’s wasted the better part of a decade behind bars because the justice system sucks and we’re supposed to applaud this ending. What a crock of shit!
