Bullet Points: Iron Warrior
I wonder if Miles O’Keeffe ate a single carb in the 1980s. From his big break in 1981’s Tarzan the Ape Man to his three movie run as Ator the Fighting Eagle, Miles O’Keeffe spent a good portion of his screen time during the decade of decadence showing off his impressive physique.
In this installment of Bullet Points, I will be looking back at O’Keeffe’s third Ator movie, 1987’s Iron Warrior…
- Twinning and Losing: The movie begins with twin brothers Ator and Tragor playing with a fur ball (not the kind a cat would hack up) and having a good time… that is until the evil witch Phoedra abducts young Tragor! It doesn’t take long for Phoedra to get called out on her wicked act, by the sorceress Deeva and a three woman tribunal. This whole scene is straight out of 1978’s Superman, with Phoedra in the Zod, Ursa and Non spot, while Deeva does her best Jor-El and the three woman tribunal being projected behind them, but instead of saying “guilty” they decree that Phoedra should be sent to the Underlands for 18 years for her refusal to return Tragor.
- 18 Years Later: Princess Janna (Savina Gersak, Midnight Ride) is celebrating her 18th birthday when the now free Phoedra and her evil army crashes the party and the carnage ensues… Janna manages to escape with the help of her father the King getting her to a secret passage out of the castle. Moments later the King is killed and it isn’t long before Janna finds herself face to face with the all grown up and menacing Tragor. Dressed in black with a silver skull mask and red scarf, the look of Phoedra’s “Iron Warrior” reminded me of my all-time favorite G.I. Joe character, Destro. The mask gimmick also helps since Miles O’Keeffe doesn’t have a twin, and speaking of Miles…
- Damsel in Distress: We see how Tragor turned out after being raised by Phoedra, but what about Ator? Grown up Ator (Miles O’Keeffe, Shoot) is the other side of the coin… instead of making damsels go into distress, Ator relieves damsels of their distress. We see Ator save a woman and the woman then seducing Ator to come home with her… the movie cuts to the next day where we see Ator and the woman he saved in bed together, so apparently she was most appreciative of Ator’s rescue… but wait, this was no damsel in distress it was Phoedra in disguise!! While Ator is still asleep, Phoedra causes the entire home to burst into flames… fortunately Sorceress Deeva awakens Ator and he is able to get out of the fire unscathed and with directions on where to go next…
- Princess in Peril: Deeva has pointed Ator in the direction of Princess Janna, who finds herself strapped to an alter and about to be sacrificed with a sword hanging above her throat all under the watchful eye of Tragor. Ator shows up and surprisingly we get brother vs. brother… something I wasn’t expecting until the latter stages of the film. However with an unsatisfying ending, it became obvious this was only the first Ator vs. Tragor battle the movie had in store. Ator does manage to save Janna and she fills him in on what happened to her and it isn’t long before Janna returns the favor and saves Ator.
- The Four Horsemen: Then comes my favorite scene in the entire movie… Janna is captured (again!) by four of Phoedra’s minions who are on horseback. Janna has a rope tied around each of her limbs and the four horsemen then carry her off as she hangs precariously between the four horses running from the scene… this leads to Ator hopping on a horse and going after them. One by one Ator starts taking out the horsemen, but this now means Janna is being dragged on the ground or at least the ridiculously obvious dummy that is used as Janna’s stunt double for the scene is… one of the best unintentional funny movie moments for me in recent memory.
- Temple of Doom: Janna and Ator make their way to the King’s birthplace the town of Nailoff, where Janna hopes to assemble an army to battle Phoedra and her forces of evil. That’s going to be difficult however since everyone is dead! Phoedra’s army shows up looking to add Janna and Ator to the list of casualties. Ator and Janna manage to escape and eventually find themselves on a rope bridge and we get a scene reminiscent of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and there’s more Indy to come after Deeva sends Ator and Janna to The Island of the Temple to retrieve the Golden Chest of the Ages, the one thing that can defeat Phoedra. And it is on the Island where Janna is chased by what I presume is boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark, IMDb doesn’t have a credit for it.
By the time Ator and Tragor have their final battle, I was ready for this movie to wrap it up. The pacing of Iron Warrior made this a chore for me, despite there being some good stuff along the way. I did not care if good triumphed over evil or evil reigned supreme and that is probably a good thing because after watching the finale I am not sure that good did in fact triumph over evil and I really do not care.
If you care to read some Bonus Bullet Points, keep reading…
- More Like aThor: There was a fourth Ator film, 1990’s Quest for the Mighty Sword. Miles O’Keeffe did not return for the fourth installment and instead Ator was played by Eric Allan Kramer, who you may remember as Thor in The Incredible Hulk Returns.
- Stuck in the Middle: Iron Warrior was filmed on The Isle of Malta, making it the third movie I will now associate with Malta. If I were to rank these Malta movies, I’d go with Black Eagle starring Shô Kosugi and Jean-Claude Van Damme at #1, Iron Warrior at #2 and Final Justice starring Joe Don Baker at #3.
- PG-13: Given the amount of female nudity in Iron Warrior, I seriously question the PG-13 rating it carries.
